Judge — October 28, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. AN AUTUMN REVERY. [The following heart-rending lines were found in the vicin: ity of & mountain resort that evidently experienced a bad Isto the seared, brown woods and flelds 1 wander, This mellow, dreamy day of later fall, And as, with vagae unrest, I adiy ponder, A subtle sorrow hovers over all. overhead the birds are southward fiyi es have tarned to crimson, red and go e flowers the frost has kissed, are d Js whisper that the year grows old Ah, me! How void my life bas been and hollow, Since the glad spring when, with expectant heart, ‘That recked but little of the days to follow, 1 opened wide the doors of my resort. Thad inserted in the journals various Seductive ads. to cateh their readers’ e I stated that the place was not marlarious, And pictured it a perfect paradise. And then I waited, with a bounteous la And pleasing fane For that queer animal, the summer boarder— T waited—but, alas, it was in vaint Thus am I plunged in serious meditation, As winter, with its frigid breath, draws near, Whether to wind up with a conflagration, Or run the old shebang another year! MALCOLM DOLOLAR. Two Versions of aSunday-School Picnic. THE BAD BOY’ Me an Muggsy took in the Sunday-scool racket, Muggsy sed there'd be a chanse too rase Kane, so me and Muggsy wus on Hand. We gut down to the dock two ours afore the ‘Thing went off. Muggsy he lugged the grub, while [ took care of a Yaller Dog what I'd kort in the Streat and ticd a Rope To. The bote we wus goin in Wus a barje, with flaggs an Things flyin on poles, an luked like a Thing of Life. The music fellers they wus already on Board, an Muggsy he offered to swap the Yaller Dog fer a rattlin song-an-Dance toon. But them felliz they wudnt oblije the aujence, some an Muggsy tole em they wus Anuther— an then me an Muggsy Lit Out. Putty sunc the fokes They begin to Pile on bord, all Smiles an grab. Muggsy he sed, sed he, ‘1 bet sum of them Gals ‘Il have the stuunmackake afore they Git home. ‘An then a sanktimonyus dutfer, whoo heerd the aforesed, he skowled Awful on me an Muggsy, an sed Sunday-scool boys Hadn't ought ter talk that Way. We snickered. ‘Then the Boss dekon, he cum along, an the Yaller Dog he gut the Grand Bounce. Muggsy he Told the man that the Purp had the Palpetashuns of the off Hind leg, an kneeded fr ir—bat it wusnt no good— Yaller gut tired. We tyed Him too the dock so as we cud git him when we cum back. Wel, putty sune the band Tooted up Ter- mendus, the Wissle blowed, an we started. Me an Muggsy did a hylan Fling, expre: of the Feclins we had inside our Cloes. When we gut bout Ninty-Five Miles Away, the gals and Felliz they begin to dance—an Muggsy he got Scornful, Muggy did. ACCOUNT. | our Oath of Venjence onse Moore. | boddy’s pet kid twigged us an Latled Write He sed too me, sed he: “Luk at them grown-up felliz, w: ses He, ‘Then he Laffed Scornful, We be doin when we're them felli : Muggsy tome, An ses I: “We'll be Out , fitin injuns, ole pard.” Then we Hugged Each other, an Knelt down, an tuk Some- we Out. We went for him Sudden, an lammed him black an Bloo, Me an Muggsy hatter hide after this, fer the kid’s mam gut the Boss dckon after Us, an Things gut hot as Blazes. Me Muggsy was furst off the bote, an we made a bolt for the swings. Got the Best One, an licked some Girls as Tried to git the Blamed Thing away from Us, Then We went for Grub, Wel, me an Muggsy thort we'd Bust, whea we gut throo, Hatter unbuton the twoo top Butons of our Panse, By this Time We wus full-cocked, an begin too raze Nedd. Me an Muggsy cort too littel shavers in the Woods, an we lammed em Powerful. ‘Then W barrel. Then We fired stones at Hogs an hooked sum apels. Bimeby we gut too hul, big seegars, an— Wel, me an Muggsy ain't gut nuthin moore two Sa THE GOOD BOY'S ACCOUNT. Mamata said I might go to the picnic, with the Buds of Promise, if I would wear my chest-protector, and a pair of rubbers. 1 would rather have gone lightly clad, for then I might have caught cold, I would then have had consumption, and faded away in the spring time, with the shining angels to beckon me over the golden river. But mamma asked me to be careful, so 1 dressed warmly, for I always obey my mamma and papa. I know 1 would die an awful death, and go toa burn- ing pit, if I did not, I met little Arthur Stanley on the boat. He brought a Sunday-school book with him, which we read together, as the boat glided along. : Oh, how much softer the boats will glide up there! The book told all about the evils of Drink; and Arthur and I made our sacred vow, never to be tempted by the Evil One, in that way. ‘Oh, that man should put an enemy in his mouth, to steal. his brains away!” as my teacher said, last Sunday. Dear Reader! let me warn you before it is too late. The people made such a loud noise—laugh- ing and shouting, that it wearied Arthur and me, 80 we found a quiet corner in the bow: and there we sat during the trip, exchanging words of Hope and Love. We sat there in sad, sweet commune, and as ions of the future bliss came to us, our eyes filled with grateful tears. As the boat neared the dock, Arthur closed his book saying, ‘“Here endeth the reading,” and we went ashore. ‘They wanted us to eat, but we said we would rather go off by ourselves and com- mune with Nature. We found a beautiful place in the forest, and sat down on a knoll. Arthur said he would like such a spot for hi grave, The squirrels and robins could visit in their time on Gals,” | “Whav'll | pset the Lemenade | him, and the adjacent brook would be forever singing a sot, sad requiem. We both pledged each other that when our spirits left for a better home our bodies should lie here, side by side. Mauna then appeared, and insisted that I should take “something to stay me.” 1 really did not yearn for any food, but to oblige her I ate some spongecake, Arthur did not take anything. By and by we went aboard the boat again and started for home. On the return trip Arthur and I crept into a qui and sang hymns, also recited psalins, from memory. And now, dear reader, before it is too late, etc. corner Suovtp those wicked Republicans succeed in their evil design of overthrowing ‘the best government the world ever saw” and erectin; y in its stead, we suppose that “Chet” Arthur would be crowned under the title of King Fisherman 1. DIOGENES can now put out his lantern and retire content. His honest (likewise modest) man has at last been found. The name of this long-sought honest man and modest trother is Melville - gin Melville. U. S..N., late of the Arctic Expedition. He been approached on that subject so dear to every American heart—namely, lecturing —and has refused! This is the first case of a al of this kind ever recorded in Ameriena history. he engineer should forthwit! be presented with a medal—and a large one— by an astonished and grateful people. AN advertisement in a Chicago paper reads: “Twelve frightful examples want-d to travel with and appear in the r scene” of a new pla the Drunkard’s Daughter.” ‘They never can find them in C cago. Folks there drink nothing but apol- linaris and milk. However, we don’t wish to see a play fail for lack of a few frightful ex amples, so we have cut the “ad.” out and sent it, with an explanatory message, to the Police Commissioners. Chicago may look out for a dozen choice specimens on an early train. alistic bar-room ‘Tus year's crop of Chinese pug-style. usages ix in the Wues a young lady of Connecti told her farmer father that there were four sophomores in the house, he exclaimed: ‘First, the Colorado bectle, then the chinch-bug, then the grasshoppers, and now, merciful heavens! the sophomores.” PoruLaR theatrical refreshment: Romany Rye —kept constantly on hand at Booth’s Theater. > $ Ir silence is golden, as that great modern philosopher, U. S. Grant, has been known to remark, then should we say that speech (es: pecially among some of his New York polit- ical friends) was brazen. Tue real Eastern Question : What next ? comicbooks.com