Judge — October 14, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 The Wail of tr O wenn! b Tis a dark day We're plundered 3 Mir all our 1 rot hl of a thous: 1, also, sly al both b a nate plan tot And lashing skaiinin’ an ye Skirmisher. of sorra, tad ani tirely undone, subseribin A Doribin f the *Skinnishin’ Fun’ Ayia ho his shebeen, Tim McCool pockets full How up the qneen. id laving Of our hard airned saving Wint to fit up O'Donovan Bat the divil a For the cause Aud what has become of Hal Luck We allt the E He'd wa stisly But, be the powers of Moll Ke They've bate bi Aud our hopes f We'll niver be » Ara Ht that maybe pun that quart Rosau's hotel, cint of it has he spint of It, it he refuses to tell, aml give fa show; im to jelly, an ted Ukegsnow, sy Bat'll surely go crazy, It wo dh n't lay our bi Should we find The murdherin Ob, won't there be last that Skirm the boald robber, n’ grabber, and laving of fan ? Three Times and Out. A oreary, blast The editor of the upon his knee the way, for an editor own fires—and is in th twenty hmateh —not at in the stov he waste-basket neous supply threats of annihilation, xlowed amid the blac ns’ last subscription flamed and flashed wit veyed the cold, de pants, the burnt spot ring day in November. runkinville Journal ix 1 unusual attitude, by that has to build his ye act of applying the to the fourth buneh of h-pan of the offi had yielded up_ its of poetry, dans and yet not a single spark kness of Farmer Haw- in the grate above. ‘e there was—in the editor's eye. It hlurid fury as he sur- dashes that frescoed his on his thunt and the smut on his last pair of clean, paper cuts. Anon, the door soft en entered. With nand, and a timid lig dressed the kneeling e1 “ Exense me, sir, 1rd last fieree b) ash-box, that lent mat Wlast from qdown the ¢ to fill his eyes with Dl coal, the editor aro: “Is this the edit timoronsly. ly opened, and a maid all of manuscript in her it in her eye, she ade litor: says she, ‘is this the low into the smohleri ‘erial assistance to the chimney in its endeavor azing poctry and chi nd confronted her. r, sir?” she repeated, “Madam, this is the editor,’ he replied, with professional cour “If you have a like —" “Tam sorry, mada smile aslarge and co “bat I we have the premises. We re ment only a few days te: little leisure, sir, 1 would m,” he broke in witha as an old maid's fect, ta particle lef about ived a large consign- since, but the demand THE JUDGE. has really been unprecedented in the of that commodity. You see, madam, the | onrselves on, madam, is the variegated, send- people are becoming more aud more deeply | Uhr it - stamp-and-receiv impressed with the truth of the old Greek ad- | beautiful - samples - of snowilak ous-Bramapootra-pug annals | inseparable. But what we particularly prite y-return-mail- » Durham : ‘Few don git out here wi that poem, I'll | earniv od | twoaliks Iness of our goods. be dam th’ won't be a job (the coroner, Fe ost-fastidious they are determined to have a good article. | bias, warranted-to-please No, madam, 1 regret that we are unable to | ness, 1Us—" But he was alot | Gl your order, but in the language of the | With a wan simile the editor cramme Hebrew bard: ‘Nothing havee, nothing can | “Song of the Babbling Pool” in the rate Se gette j and renewed his efforts to get some little afraid’ you @idu’t quite un- | yood out of Farmer Hawkins’ last year's derstand me, sir,” she-stammered in reply. | subscription, | 1 meant if you were not engaged, sir, f | SPADE TE } would like—" “Undoubtedly, lun,” he interrupter with a smile in which commiseration divided | the honors with se isfaction, ‘ undoubt. | edly it would give you great pleasure to come allied with our noble family, but tt thing is impossible ; though I | engaged, there exists what inight be con A New Departure in Dramatic Criticisms, Dramatic criticisms are takin new tune, | | They are now neatly combined with business, and we understand the true inwarduess of the article when we read: “The heroine faint Lin the first act, but a spoonful of Dr. | ered a scrious impediment in the way of an | Sharp's Rejuvenator—beware of counterfeits immediately restored her to consei engagement of the nature you suggest—I am | married. Yes, 4 progenitor of seve n Tite | tle cherubs, metaphorically speaking, you | know,” he continued in a bland, explanatory | manner, handing her a chair; “because real, literal cherubs have wings like ducks, and no | ¢#tion of St. brivator—for sale at frocks or socks to speak of, and their faces | all druggists- and the | aren't made roosting-places for all the dirt | Performance continued.” Or: ‘Sarah Bern- and two-thirds of the freckles of the universe, | hardt had a severe hemorrhage in the second 1 act. and the curtain was rung down, One 1 with unusual brillianey the re- mainder ing.” Or: Mr. Booth, in the third act of ‘Hamlet,’ w fam, wedded, and the sinall childn ed with a ne Which con: pletely disal ¢, but one appli | and they don't smear their pop’s best pants with molasses and oleomargarine spoonful of Quacque’s Pulmonary Scarcher— J madam, real, genuine cherubs don't do that, | the wame is blown in the bottle—eifected a but the imitation human article will, in spite | Cure in five minutes, and the talented actress politica! party, or | tesumed her role, much to ti ification of al. Yot L love | the large and appreciative audience.” ‘There » as well as novelty, of the a the upw of Hen rd tendene. isin of them, mad: Unruly reposit sprites ! sof atfection and velly-ache this kind, and the new departure will doubt put less become general tinue, madam, you see the tion, and 1 trust you will not urge the consummation of your very kind proposition. “Excuse me, sir, but you persist in misin- terpreting my meaning,” she replied, with | some asperity. “If you have a moment's liberty, sir, I would like——" * Liberty?” he eried, exultantly. A mo: | jn the-toothepiek and ans mena liberty t Have more moments OF) wen do with picks and washes of a different liberty, and more liberty to dhe 'moment, than | \;,, —how TI love the not con- A SYRACUSE police magistrate informed a prisoner that he “was a loafer and worked at it every day.” The phrase ‘k has a floating population of well«iress: “chaps: permanent address, Broadw 25d to 80th street, who work a any establishment in Punkinville! Ifthere isoue thing of which I way londls, rampantiy, | pyres meu employed in a steam fla fearlessly boast an overwhelming majority, | it), hore the treacherous buzzsaw that one thi | wons of it is liberty! We whole o every square ineh of this sanctum, We can furnish it in any quantity | or inany style. We can give you liberty @ fa mange ; liberty fried, frilled, or fricagseed ; liberty box-plaited, ”Spring-bottomed, — or banged; liberty on toast, en train, or on the half shell. We are literally reveling, reeking, | rolling in oceans of liberty. Verily, there are two things that flourish in this office, like unto poverty in a poet. Yea, three things that are exceeding numerous—dirt, rats and liberty; but the chiefest of these—aner dirt and rats—is liberty. With the immortal bard we can exclaim ‘give us liberty or give us-} Oscar WILDr's book on this country, it is hash; plenty of the latter, please, and we | stated, will’ be called ‘‘ America—Her Fools don’t care who gets the aldermanship of. our.}-and Hor Money;”. He is supposed to know a ward. It is our Aus achates, our one and.| vast-dealabout both “Se. ie } high carnival, took a census of their finge fow days az they a and were surprised to find that on his way down to the offiée. the other morning, and inserted it in theapel of bis coat, with the remark, ‘This is-a sign of good luck for one day at least.” Before reaching the office he. Wasrkpocked into the mud by a dray, and in the afternoon he gave astranger change for a countérfelk. fifty-dol- lar bill. Las many as four digits apiece, NG Phallowticht picked up a pin while” comicbooks.com