Judge — September 23, 1882 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. That Boy Again. STILL IN THE DARK REOAKDING BIBLICAL MATTERS, HE WORRIES MS MOTHER. “Pa,” said the Rey. Mulkittle’s son, ‘Sam- son was a strong man, wasn't he 2” “Yes; Samson was the strongest man that ever lived.” “Tell me about him. “It was intended that Samson should be the strongest man, and before he was born——" The bewildered expression on the child's ce arrested the minister in his narration. ‘* Before he was born ?” asked the boy. “Yes, before—that is before he was found in a hollow stump—”" “Just like little sister.” “Yes; just before he was found, an angel appeared and foretold of his strength, saying that no razor must touch his head.” “Was the angel afraid that the razor would cut him?” ‘No; the angel meant that his strength lay in his hair, and that his hair must not be cut off” “If T let my hair grow long can I lift more than I can now?’ “T don’t know about that.” “Are women stronger than men?” “No.” “ But they've got longer hair. “Yes, they have longer hair. “A woman couldn't whip you, could she?” “No; not easily. ‘Was Samson a Democrat?” “T don't know.” “ But why don't you know? was as old as you. How many that Samson killed?’ “One thousand.” “He was bad, wasn't he 7” “No.” “ But when a man kills anybody he's bad.” “The Lord was with Samson.” “But the Lord says you musn’t kill any- body. Did Samson go to heaven?” “*T suppose so.” “ He's the strongest angel there, ain't he?” “You are getting foolish again.” “But I want to know. Will you know Samson when you go to heaven?” “*T suppose so.” “But you won't fool around him, will you? Ifhe wuster hit you he'd break your wings, wouldn't he?” ‘Go to your mother. The next time you attempt to question me about the Bible I shall whip you.”—Exchange. I'd know if I men was it Waiter at a hotel table to Alderman O'Houliban—“ What will you have for des- sert, sir—pie or a ‘floating island?’” Wife of his defeated rival for aldermanic honors, who is seated at an adjacent table, sotto “‘Humph, ‘floatin’ oisland,’ indadet Faith, thin, it's Blackwell's he'd be at this blessid day, iv he got his roight disarts.” Sack cheese isn't always wise, but the wisest men are not always the strongest. voce— Sur was weeping like a cat'ract, And I neared the maiden sad, Wond'ring what could be her sorrow, For my sympathy she had. Queried I, “Girl, hast thou anguis| Whereupon her eyes did flash, As she wiped her nose, and blubbered, ‘Give ’s a rest! I've lost my mash!" “Dip the bye get off 2” inquired Mrs. Mulli- gan of her husband, on his return from the police-court, where their son Teddy had been prosecuted foranassault. ‘Did he get off 7 replied Mr. Mulligan; “faith an’ he did, an’ the judge he says, ‘Twas a foine bating yer gave the gossoon of a Riley, an’ it’s meself that will be givin’ yer seven dollars and the costs for doin’ it.’ Faith an’ I think we'll soon be seein’ him, for the officer took him out the back way, to show him the shortest way home, I'm thinkin’.” Teddy was absent several weeks, however. Spricsos, who has a poultry-keeping neigh- bor, says if the latter's rooster is a descend- ant of the one that caused St. Peter to weep when he crowed, he docsn’t wonder that poor Peter wept bitterly on hearing him, Tue Penman’s Art Journal is one of the brightest, neatest, and most entertaining journals published. Illustrations and_speci- mens, photo-engraved from actual pen-work, are only a few of its attractions. JEPEH: T pronounce this delicious wine v 1 in court hi “VIVE DE MONTIGNY B.C, RAMsDRN, Sole Agent. 108 Front St, N.Y Castoria, “Why don't I sleep—what makes f ery" Quite ow know, dear Aunty Py When stomach ache and moaf is sour, And mamma sleeps at midnight bour, Cry I must for sweet Castoria, Same as Aunty gives Victoria. $1.000 weer: Fanta; also The Wo the world for pungency, strength, and delicacy of odor. Tt is made of Ottar of ftoses and Prench Flowers. WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS, H.R. EVANS. —One accepted. “Keer Mcwx."—Yes, please do so in future. B, Strrr.—The pleces you send will be used, What ts good for mosquite “ites” A tender skin, pRoN.—You may become a poct—that is, if you are Jong-lived. Stick toahort sketches. It takes considerate nd another to make & paragrapher. G, Vossvna.—Sorry to be obilged to decline your article, because there Is so much fine penmanship displayed. But that does not count for much when cold type takes its place, SOL ReINstivn. —There was no need of our going to such lengths in stating that you beloug to the superior race. A person would Infer as much from your name. Neither was It Decessary for you to say that we occasionally ao far forget Ourselves as to make fin of that “superior race."” Yes, Sot, that “superior race"! to which you belong Is a sort of a god- Send to humorous or satirical papers. In fact, we hantly know ‘what we shonid dof there was no “superior race" like the one to which you belong, and your threat to live long enough to see the last Christian sign torn down in New York, on Account of the business aggressiveness of your “superior ace,” furnishes us with another subject for Ilastration. Keep fon the garment which we inferior folks usually wear next to the cuticte—even if it ts a second-hand one, saving means of imparting brightDess, WITHOUT S PLATES ON STOVES. ~ORGANS*< 27 8tops,10 SetsReeds,$109.75 ‘The Famous Beethoven Organ with a beautifol Pipe Top, Handsome Black Walnut Case, saltable {or the Parlor, Chureh or Sabbath Sehoot Bhipped on: ‘with Organ Bench, *SlOS.7 5 Remit by Bank Drat, Post Ofte Order or Regia. tered Letter, Mouey refunded with interest if ented after c use, Orcas he old plan. € $20. 8to 11 stop ue F ‘Adarenn or call np BAMIEL Fo BEATTY, ‘Washington, New Jersey BEHNING FIRST-CLASS GRAND, SQUARE AND UPRIGHT PIANOS. Warerooms: 2 Pactory Wareroon Nats ASK y Carrtage. MY WIFE'S MOTHER. By * BRICKTOP.” FRANK TOUSEY, Publisher, Nos. 34 & 36 North Moore St., N. Y., and you will receive a copy by return matt comicbooks.com