Judge — September 2, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YEARNING. READ BEFORE AN AMATEUR DRAMATIC SOCIETY How I long (o be an actor, That I might strut about the stage; To bellow forth, to tear m, In the metodra: I want to be the Romeo, varian Ingomar. Tol Ax such is my ambitious lot; Or else to be a Richelien, Or hamble lover, Claude Melnotte. a most somber I To Ww Or the To be an ain: Like very a roaring Spartacus, tic, ranting L Factor, y who are conde atic * Youth. * come true! aT could be * billed How 1 te With sue fe 1 That fm , era ard and f —DENOCRITES DINWIDDY General Butler Still Lives. Tue bold Benjamin F. Butler, the hero of old, still lives, and the people of Ma: well accept him this vernor, For yea and he will cert 3 their rs he has sought the place, nly neverdie with any degree of happiness unless he is permitted to sit in ‘ce inthe re! or-like executive chamber in the Capitol of the old Commonwealth, Gen- eral Butler might live in song and story were he never the chief officer of his State, but honors elsewhere are nothing by comparison with those which his fellow-citizens now have chance to heap upon him. ‘The animated icicles of Beacon Hill, who have attempted to turn up their noses or blush whenever his name was mentioned, may as well understand now at any other future time that the old warrior and shrewd politician is determined -yet to oceupy the gubernatorial chair of Mas- sachusetts, Let the bontires be started within the sacred precinets of Boston Common, and let the gifted orators of that State of orators shout the praises of the ‘noblest Roman of them all.” It may be-galling to some of the superannuated hean terrifiers of Massachu- setts to know that General Butler is again a didate for the “high and holy office of Governor,” but why should they not at once recognize his genius in stat p, his heroism asa man, and his unswerving fidelity to duty. There may be an impression lurking somewhere in Snob Square in Boston that General Butler can never attain the pinnacle of greatness, the governship of Massachusetts, Tue Jupce is inclined to disagree with all who harbor such an impression, and con- fidently expects to sit at table with Governor Butler, of the Hub of the Universe. sachu- | | shmy teef isher wosher!” Porrtan Soxas TunestraTep.—" TF cannot sing the old songs.” AN undertaker and a coroner have opened an establishment at Coney Island, employing a hired jury, who patrol the beach for sub- jects. ‘The jury also makes itself useful in ssisting the undertaker, and it is company is making money fast, ow! undertow and the number of fresh idiots who | love to show themselves by diving from the piers. AMAN was batning at other day when a young iF claimed: “Oh, gooshnesh gi Long Branch the y suddenly ex. heth, Ivsh losh thought she was a Russian Jewish refugee, sked her if she couldn't speak Engli | Then she pointed to her mouth and said: “‘Mishe steesh shfeesh oush.” And p knew th full-blooded Amer can, and had simply lost her teeth in the surf. OLD men are nowadays comparing note regarding things that happened years ago, and when that he remembers when the Brooklyn Bridge was begun, he creates a sensation nearly as great as the lad of today might, who boasts that he expects to live long enough to see it finished. one. insist AN agricultural paper has the heading line, “How to Train Tomato Vines." Thetomato vine is one of the most intelligent of the veg- etable kingdom; it can be taught a number of interesting and funny tricks. The tomato plant can be made to travel very rapidly; so fast, in fact, that it will ketchup with almost anything. | to be leaders, gentleman | | Old Summerbreeze didn’t say he at } Anant Bey don't appear to be gaining many recruits from those Irish patriots who have been talking so loudly about casting the sword into the scale and sealing England's doom. The probability is that they all want e none of them will volunteer for the ranks. Consequently “ Perfidious Albion” aving things all her own in Egypt. and of cou SUMMERBREEZE REPROVES THE Mr, SuMMERRREEZE always has prayers each morning. ‘Theother day, as the family were in turn reading verses from the young Summerbreeze came to the wor “patriarchs,” which he read patrid, anything ther but his eyes glistened, and after he had made short prayer he rose from his knees, and ring the young hopeful by the collar, he bo family | fairly yelled: “Look here, you young rascal, | if yer ever attempt to make game of the pa- triarchs again, I'll break every bone in yer body.” ‘Tuose Senators and Representatives who voted for the River and Harbor steal now begin to think that they have had their last feed at the public crib. Wit the advent of September the oyster remembers that his vacation is over, and he nestles deeper into the mud as he contem- plates the slow approach of the time of church fairs, when he may be drowned and boiled to death, solitary and alone, in five gallons of water, and be ladled around as a stew. comicbooks.com