Judge — July 8, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ye example of this fortunate customer, | however, and the spectacle which he pt s he triunphantly walked away from with $97.50, half of it winnings, seemed to inspire all the other customers with the desire w do likewise, and during the next sented a the oritic hour I was kept so busy redeeming our con- tracts that I had no time to discuss the thir- ‘n minutes to halfpast eleven slump in the ket with Nibbs, particularly since it failed to arrive, and Nibbs seemed disposed not to be conversational. He remained near the ticker, and contented himself with check- ing the dealers’ tickets: all the custom ther AL one o'clock 3 had realized and gone aw: was just $2.50 in the casharawer, and But who the market had indeed begun to slump. the slump had come too ii should have suffered by it had gone away un harmed pork will boil that way,” said and something must have happene uld, or the market would have and we should But they'll all they've had lunch. We'll have i of earlier we have boys. be back as soon as "ve got is only lent to ‘em. Il back before © But how?” I inquired, to get it back.” be 200 me “Til do anything Raise replied Nibbs. “Look where you lost it. It’s a dead sure You've got half an hour to fill up the Do it, qui aiden aunt, living on Twenty-fith J.to-do and pious person, I had owed a dollar from her, and IT re- solved to procure the desired sum from her, So, placing the remainin I set out for my aunt's for mone thing. cash-drawer, Thadar street, aw never bort lence. I found the good old lady at home, and, apologizing for being in a hurry, I said, “I've just run up from the brig Good Tidings, Which sails at 2 o'clock today for Beyrout, Syria, with a cargo of missionaries. At the last moment the committee on board find they are short of Syriac New Testaments, Revised Edition. They come dear, but they must have ‘em. Ihave | up to you as a mother in Israel, metaphorically speaking, for $200 to help on the good cause. I have found a job lot of Syriac Revised, 1,200 copies for $200, but the owners won't let them go with: | she, ‘and, my dear boy, afte nght the | | minutes we had received five hundred dollars, 0 in my pocket, | | business—; THE JUDGE. out the money, Do, my dear aunt, consider the destitute condition of the poor Syrians, famishing for the Revised Edition, and by a timely donation, now—now, save 1,200 souls, or, perhaps, 1,200 families of souls, assorted sizes, on the slopes of scriptural Mount Leba- non, and at the very gates of Damascus My aunt was deeply moved. ‘Teai in her eyes. She hurriedly left the parlor, and in @ moment returned, bearing a stocking loaded with trade dolla cks of small denomination: 230," said securing a job riac Revised, you may get yourself suit of clothes in which to attend chureh with your aunt, who is so fond of Laden with treasure, Iv ice again, Nibbs was stood lot of $ Du.” soon at the waiting for me. Several of the customers had returned, and were grouped around the ticker. “We've got ‘em now, sure enough,” whispered Nibbs to me behind the inclosure ; “ they think the slump is oing ou, and they all intend to jump in and go short; whereas at fifteen minutes before 2 there's going to be a big rally. 1 Zot the point from Gould’s principal broker's porter, just now, by special messenger, *Spurt arranged for at 1:45 the shorts.’ $200 apie I tell you, we shall go hi , clear profits.” ‘The bulls of the forenoon had ne: all become bears, and crowded to the or 3 to sell 10, 20, 50 sha {Key MG Len now and in a few and issued sale tickets on over 400: shares of stock, a few de still preferring to buy. Still the prices on the inexorable tape went 1:45, 15 (fatal and went, and there was no down and down, moment), came sation to the downward movement. Every except those few who had bought tickets and were wiped out, now came to the | orifice with tickets showing protits about equal to the margins deposited. the $500 was re Jn half an »sorbed, and my aunt's * said Nibbs, ar, as I fumbled in the empty cashdrawer, “you are only $130 out in cash, so far, on the day's it all back, tomorrow, and a thousand besides, There are only nfore contracts to settle. cheeks on your banker.” ‘Take my place a minute,” said I, “ while I go across the street and get a check cashed And with this I slid out of the office, and was soon safe at jiome in my rooms, with just twenty shillings in my pocket. with it, “Courage, in my fiteen Pay the boys in My lawyer told me that evening that I was not legally liable to those customers who got left. ‘They were all ahead of the game any- how. I haven't seen any of them since. Nor Nibbs. But Nibbs keeps on advertising in the Hurru/d for partners, who ar2 assured by him speedy fortunes out of small investments, without risk. I told my aunt I had been robbed on my way down to get the Testaments. She was much distressed that the missionaries had to sail without the Syriac Revised Edition, and is anxiously awaiting news from Beyront. Tam now employed on the Street-Cleaning Brigade, night detachment. The s bet- | | | ! Cut dat a gemman's stockin' suppotiah ter at night, and my former associates and my creditors don’t recognize me under the g light. Isave half my pay, and am on the sure road to fortune, The Live Crocus and the Dead One A GENTLEMAN named Ci was found suf- focated in his bed in Russian’s Hotel, near the City Hall, the other day. He bad blown out the gas just betore retiring, and the discovery of his corpse followed, of course, ‘This hotel has noted for such aifairs, At the tim Mr, Russian learned that one of his guests had gone the usual way, he was naturally anxions to kuow what he should do with the remains. Just at that moment another gen- tleman named Crocus loomed up in the corri- or of the hotel, and Mr. Russian said: ‘* My dear Crocus, are you a relative of the corpse ”* ‘The live Crocus responded: “ With ul feelings of regret and anger, 1 imu The corpse Crocus was a cousin of mine, and only last evening I received a letter from him.” “A letter !" gasped Mr. Russian, did it contain 1” “He wrote me,” continued the live Ci who was no relative, a ceived any letter from the corpse Crocus, “that for three nights he had battled with the bugs of the last d termined to give up the fight, blow out the nd di Russian fell into the and was carried to his room. Crocus ming! say Tam, “What 1S, who had never re- ny had at bed, and ns of his unele, Ir is reported that Dr. Mary Walker, in spite of her hatred of men and matrimony, says, ahem! is, if the President only should, why she, ahem! But perhaps the old girl wishes her blushes spared, so we'll say no more. Dame Nature seems to be up on her ear this year, especially out W Tuat old notoricty-monger, Dr. Whiskers, didn’t make much in the Guiteau business. But what do such people care so long as they get their names in the papers? So much free advertising, as well as the gratifying of pe sonal vanity. comicbooks.com