Judge — June 17, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LAY OF THE FINE-TOOTHED COMB. *L xvow Lam okt and have broken teeth, And somewhat discolored as well; r other things In the stories that I can tell. You oft have heard of ‘My Grandfather's C1 That was bought the day he was born, But none have sung of the old fine-toothed comb That went through his hair every morn. * His mother oft caught him between her kne Hisears would sometimes yet a box Whene'er be kicked, a8 the school hour drew near, At the raking among his locks, How well [ remember the ood old dame— The boss of that grandfather's home— How she'd hunt and crack the game that she That Nimrod of the tine-toothed comb! “For many a year I went through his L At his mother’s resolute will, And when he got able to work me himself I was yanked through his tow locks still From mother to son I was handed down, Perhaps with a tooth or two Prized ad a bairloom of infinite worth For children who might yet be born. + And is it a wonder that I look dull, Or that Lam useless and old, When you pause to think of what I've been throuzh, And the many urctins I've px Bat let them iovent all the tra For use at the altar of home, m'ry will cling, as It must cling to me, To the well-wielded fine-toothed comb.” 10. G. SMALL OUR CONGRESSIONAL CIRCUS. A Day in the House. Wasutxetos, June 10, 1882. Arter the reading of the journal of the House this morning, Mr. Springer, of Mlinois, sprang to his fect and said he objected to. its approval, on the ground that his motions made on the preceding day, relating to bouncing the Speaker and calling the Chair an ignorainus, had not been inserted. He moved than the journal be corrected. The Speaker said that if the Clerk bad journalized those motions he would have been guilty of conduct unbecoming even a member of Congress. Mr. Springer thought that was impossible. He reasserted that the motions should have appeared in the journal, and he could *Sulli- van” any man who affirmed to the contrary. The Chair said that if the gentleman from Illinois didn’t shut off his gas from the meter, the Sergeant-at-Arms would extinguish him. Mr. Springer said the Sergeant-at-Arms, or any other man, couldn't spell a-b-l-e, Mr. Humphreys (Wis.), little in stature but big in pluck, asseverated that if Mr. Springer didn’t incontinently subside, and preserve as much dignity and decorum as if he w ina fourth-class lager beer saloon, he would tire him ont quicker than he could vichskitzgrwa. Mr. Springer: “You are too diminutive a pattern to fire one-half of me out, and don't neglect to memorize it.” The Speaker said he couldn't afford to allow the gentleman from Illinois to destroy the di; nity of the House by his endeavors to convert it into a Bowery pool-room Mr. Cox (New York) asked the Speaker if be didn’t mean a fool-room, skobbleofls- THE JUDGE. Mr. Springer (looking under the desks that he was not aware that there was any dig- nity concealed on his side of the House. Mr. Knott (Ky.) suggested that if a mem- ber’s motions, irrespective of their characte were not journalized, cach member should | have printed for himself a little journal for a cent. The Chair desired to know who it was run- ning this greatest show on earth. He said the Journal Clerk acted in strict accordance with the rule, and if the gentleman wished to | make an exhibition of himself he should out and hire a hall. Mr. Burrows asked Mr. Knott whether, if | he had interrupted while just speaking, with a new motion to adjourn, which had not been | entertained, he would clamor to have that motion put on the journal. Mr. Knott, press right finger against his dome of thought, intimated that it was not in order to propound such hard conundrums, “ Ask me an easier one,” he said. After a further waste of wind, the motion to correct the journal was rejected—89 to 134. Mr. Springer, with some feeling, said when | the House sanctioned such a high-handed out- rage it was time to—yo out and take a drink, ‘The members then resumed the innocent but expensive pastime of discussing the South Carolina election cases until the | journed. go his ion ad- “OLp Suipmates” is a play worth seeing, which is more than ean be said of many of. the pieces that are being foisted upon New Yorkers just now. ‘+A Living Age” is not making a living for the management, but it is making heaps of honest but simple-minded | people crazy who are bent on finding out what | it m nS. ITaLtans are overrunning the city, and any one who has fuiled to notice it ean do so by marking the large increase of hand organs, bad boot-blacks, and those nuisances of little | two-wheeled carts, where is for sale ‘‘ Mucha gooda penuta an’ benan.” TO “CLARA BE Ou! thou of ready, sharp, and tireless pen True fashion guide, and tnistress of keen wit, They may the heavens thank who've not been Ser by thy sarcasins mercilessly bit. The papers say, dear I ccribe, that you © Teach young ile At Jersey; and if such a tak Dost * warm ™ the © duds” ADELE. DoNaLpsoy, the highalistance professor, must look to his laurels, John D, Brown, a butcher, who had sampled the various kinds | of beer near High Bridge on Sunday last, jumped from the bridge intothe Harlem river, a distance of 145 feet, and was not injured. Ifhe had been sober—but we will leave this matter to the temperance societies. A New fashion journal is to be issued hourly, in order to keep up with the changes in the fashions. It takes a ‘ fly” party to gain a toney spider sociable in Ni cess to a w York nowadays. ‘Tue war ery of the County Democracy party and the Purroy faction in New York County, this fall, is to be * Anything to beat John Kelly, und already there is talk of a union of all the Democratic forces outside of Tammany Hall to defeat their once “honored leader.” We have received a number of communica- tions from car-drivers, who complain that the conductors do not properly divide the fares with them. s this matter should be acted upon at once, we have sent the communi tions to the offices of the various companies. Favorite fruit of Thespians: Good dates. Dos't be foolish if it cos wise if it’s expensive. s anything, nor WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENT! Docesns—Very large TL. Dit has politics, however, bat for a declined not on ac reason, V. BaKen— story of America, quarter of a colu! couldn't expect tn of eplgrammatic w come on. CBM England? enough with all parties o It better in this count we haven't the space to publish “a Hess Fou cout! condense It to al IL of course, but ahould expect fo If you think yon can Sl the ttl, a popular sport ta J that it 19°” Ob, yes, 1 is popalar -oncern pting tbe foxes. They rever, where A company of Iii hase an auize-seed hag merry winding of the me will not allow bloated En make auise-seed:box veracy. 1ers of our entire pride-audbplmpte art Panar P.— Will yoo tell me, Jepur, why {CIs that eit fer making fan of poets? Itts all envy, Parker on top of natural cusseduens, Because they cab e poetry theinselves, they take endish delight In por: ‘those whom nature has permeated with the divine Because you are uot a comic poet, or even a“ mitldly- lc poet,” we give you this toformation, Mut elevate your soal above them, if you have to ride up on a chunk of dyna mite, and in spite of their sneers, keep right on sending them breathings.” They'll et up after a few months and crown you with bay horse leaves and things, ing fon amatos, END naine and address to Cragin & Co., Philadelpbia, Pa, for cook book, free. $1.000 it RD for a pertume ike Read’ Covoase Te took arst. prem lanta; also The World's Palr, and was pronounced the world for pangeacs, strength, and delicacy of odor. made of Ottar of Roses and Prench Flowers, CRANDALL & C€0., OLDEST RELIARLE, HOUSE. Premium Baby Carriages, with latest Itprovementa: Cran top, shifing to any position. Send fur price Hat. “Goods shipped C. 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