Judge, 1882-06-03 · page 4 of 16
Judge — June 3, 1882 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Extremes Meet" and "A Day in Congress in 1886" **Left cartoon:** A satirical romantic story where a man proposes to a woman—but the joke is that she wears false teeth. The humor mocks both sentimental Victorian romance literature and practical domestic realities. The caption "Extremes Meet" suggests the collision of romantic idealism with unglamorous truth. **Right section:** A scathing critique of Congressional spending excess in 1886. Judge lists absurdly wasteful appropriations: $1 million for a "Home for ex-Congressmen," $500,000 for Irish agitation, $2.5 million to *complete* the Washington Monument (already under construction), and competing proposals to either finish or abandon it entirely in favor of a $5 million replacement. The satire targets both reckless federal spending and Congressional self-dealing. Mentions of pension bills, census costs, and public building projects in obscure towns ("Shantyville," "Swamptown") ridicule the pork-barrel politics of the Gilded Age—where Congress funded pet projects while claiming fiscal responsibility. The final barb about an "Italian organ" being taxed mocks protectionist tariff policies.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
EXTREMES Nifty, the walker, meets Tonghy, th reverie, In response to her words, “Come in,” Roger Knickerbocker entered. “Darling,” he fondly whispered, cl: her to his manly breast and raining ki upon her golden hair, ‘couldst thou doubt that— He was about to begin a pretty speech which he had committed to memory from the Ledger, when she interrupted him. “Have you brought the teeth 7 ulated with difficulty Without a word he fished them out of a pocket and handed them to her. — Carefully placing them in her mouth, her look of anxiety gave place to one of relief. “T had sent for another set to New York,” she said dreamily, ‘‘but it doesn't matter, It will be a safeguard in case of further acc dents. I would not be placed in that terrible position again for the crown of a queen.” She shuddered. He placed his arm around her waist to steady her. “Evangeline,” he soft teeth, will you be mine ? A look of calm content suffused her face her head shyly rested upon his shoulder. ping she artic- aid, “teeth or no CHAPTER VI. MATED. Srx months after they were married. Each night, upon their dressing table, two sets of teeth lay side by side, DotiNxG mothers in New York wonder every Monday morning what has “happened” their darling sons who started for Sunday- school on the previous day, and their heart- strings are subsequently wrung by the appall- ing information that the darlings were arr in New Jersey for playing base-ball on Sunday. | THE JUDGE. MEET. A Day in Congress in 1886. How Uncle Sams Money Goes. IN the Senate the bill appropriating $5, 000,- 000 to carry on the governmentof the District of Columt The pension bilt | was passed. The whole amount appropri- | ated by this bill is $100,000,000. A. bill ap- propriating $1,000,000 for a Home for ex- | Congressmen was introduced. Mr. Plump read a petition from the O"Don- ovan Rossa League, asking an appropriation of $500,000 to carry on the agitation in Ire- land. Adjourned. In the He the Speaker read a me from the President, inclosing a communica- tion from the Superintendent of the Census, submitting an estimate for an appropriation of $5,000,000 to pay the salaries of the extra | force employed for two months. Leave of absence was unanimously granted | to M Knox, Box, and Fox for ten, nine, | and six months, respectiv | Mr. Fitz Vest introduced a bill asking an | appropriation of $2,500,000 for the completion of the Washington Monument. Mr. Jones thought it would be cheaper to | abandon the old monument and appropriate $5,000,000 for a new one. Mr. Browne presented a bill asking an ap- propriation of $150,000 for the erection of public buildings in Shantyville. Referred to the Committee on Appropriations. Mr. Simmons moved that the doorkeeper’s powers be enlarged, and that he be made a cabinet officer, with a corresponding increase lary. The bill asking an appropriation of $100,- 000 for the erection of public buildings at Swamptown was reported favorably. a was passed. Fe | escape the draft, was pa Mr. O'Cox said the damnable doctrine of protection was ruining this country; that when an Ameriran baby made itself sick by sucking the paint off an imported French doll, its father paid a certain per cent. ad valorem on the poison it swallows; and every time a one-armed soldier grinds ‘Over the Garden Wall” out of an Italian organ on the street corner, the tune was taxed ten per centum, Mr. Me.Kelley thought the tune was not taxed half as much as the patience of those who were compelled to hear it. The men, women, and children of this free and enlight- ened country were erying for an increase of duty on pig iron. Mr. Johnson introduced a bill asking an appropriation of $175,000 for a public build- ing at Brown's Ci Roads. Mr. Stoner asked an appropriation of $500, 000 for the printing of an edition of Emile Zola’s new novel, in small pica type, for the especial use of members. Mr. O'Cox thought the on bank checks was a blow at the pockets of every poor mau who was working for one dollar a day. Mr. Wilkinson asked an appropriation of $800,000 for the widening of Mud creek, at Podunk. The bill appropriating $1,000,000 for the erection of adam on Raccoon river was re- ported favorably, Mr. MeKelley hoped the Tariff Comm would impose a tax of $490 per head on cats imported to this country for bree purpose: A bill was passed appropriating $700,000 for the improvement of the national fish-pond at Slabtown, bill asking an appropriation of $850,000 to equip an expedition to go to Long Branch, sion Hi ing | next August, to make observations on the partial eclipse of the moon and study the spots on the sun, was reported favorably, with an amendment increasing the sum to $1,000,000, Mr. Bihard asked an appropriation for a public building at Oldcastle. The bill granting a pension of $1,500 a year to the widow of a man who was killed on the railroad, while fleeing to Canada to ed by a strict party vote; also, the bill restoring to his position in the army Colonel Cower, who deserted dur- the war for the Union, and’awarding him $40,000 back pay. ‘The bills appropriating $150,000 each for public buildings at Turkeyport, Gingerville | and Tucker's Flat, were reported favorably, and passed. Mr. Badman introduced a resolution calling for an appropriation of $1,500,000 to fit out an Aretic search expedition, to go in search of an expedition that started out in 1884, in search of the expedition that sailed in 1882. Adjourned. w. Somr one has attempted to create a sensa- tion by addressing a postal card to President Arthur, threatening him with death unless he recalls Minister Lowell from England. The card has been detained in the New York Post- office. It is a pity the writer could not be de- tained a few months at work on the new wall around Blackwell's comicbooks.com