Judge — May 20, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aA Socialist meeting as it is popularly si TWO HORSES. Two horses met by the curb one «lay One was harnessed to abright coupé, th a harness new and a driver smart, While the other pulled at an old ash-cart. The rich man’s horse he whinnied and sneerel, His eyes were bright, the other one’s bleared, And aa he champed on bia silver bit, He said: * Old nag, yon are scarcely ft To make e’en one in a scene so gay, Where dames are shopping alow Broadway. Your coat is dirty, your harness is old, And Bergh should gather you into his fold. Yon, at least, should keep on some back street, And with toney equines never meet. Nothing about you savors of tone— Simply trade up of horse-bide and bone, With a spavined leg and wornoat ahoe, You're only good to work into glue.” Then the aah-cart horse he winked a wink— Out from his broken blinkers a blink— Bracing himself with a snort and grunt, And with his best fore foot to the front, He shook the duat from his unkempt head, And this to the dandy nag be sai “Don't be too fresh, for your master’s all Is gathered from the ashes I haul. T once was airy and fresh like you, With a sleek coat and a patent shoo; And though it may not seem s0 to-day, T once pranced with your lady’s coupe. Bat { frilled too much; a spavin came, And I soon grew old, and weak, and lame. And although once I had been so smart, Thoy hitched me up to this old ash-cart. And ao it will be, when you go wrong, They'll hook you up and slain you alon;.. Your tauntings, I assure you, don't hart; You're pulling now bat the Queen of dirt; And the time will come, though now-you're smart, That von'll be hauling an old ash cart.” Our Scientific Department. EDITED BY SIR CHARLES LIEWELL. AN immense tree, supposed to be many cen- turies old, was lately blown down in New Zea- land, and a large quantity of human bones was disclosed in the hollow interior, some of the skeletons being quite perfect. The hypo- thesis is that in the year 1346 a couple of Scotch bag-pipers invaded the village in the upped to he. | vicinity of this tree, and the natives, never be- | fore having heard such a wild, weird, unearth- | ly, soul-harrowing noise, fled to the: woods in | wild dismay, Some of the affrighted people | crawled into the hollow of this immense tree, pulled the opening in after them, and then niserably perished of starvation. Wom who are much more concerned than men in the selection and comparison of | | colors, are rarely affected with color-blind- | | ness. This explains why the number of wom- | en who marry red-nosed men is ninety per cent. greater than the number of men who marry women possessing nasal organs of the | same brilliant hue. ACCORDING to Professor Young, the total | | quantity of light emitted from the sun is equal 106,200,000, 000,000,000, 000, 000,000,000 can- ‘dies. It is pretty certain that the professor is mistaken at least a dozen in the number of | candles, but whether he has the figures too high or too Tow, the reader may easily det mine by purehasing 6,2 10, 000,000,000, 000,- | 000,000,000,000 candles and trying the ex- periment. : HE howling monkeys are the largest found in America. Often in the great forests of the Amazon a tremendous noise is heard in the night, as if Barnum’s menagerie was discuss- ing the Trish land league question. The noise may be heard for miles, and it is all produced bya single male howler. And he 13 not howl- ing that the Chinese must go, either. We cannot be too thankful that the male howler does not mount our back fences and sheds at | midsight to exercise his howling powers, ‘There would soon be a famine in shaving cups and bootjacks if he dic ‘THe idea of employing weapons for assault or defense was a logical result of the first con- test that took place between man and man. | For instance, the first weapon was a man’s | fist, and the fellow that was knocked down with it incontinently discovered the second ————$—$ weapon in the shape of a stone, which, at long range, lays over the fist by a handsome ma jority. These scientific problems entail a great strain on the mental powers, but close study and deep thought will bring them to light every time. ‘THE general reader will be pleased to learn that ‘a new suborder of odd-toed ungalates, named condylarthra, has been proposed and extended by Prof. Cope to include only ter- tiary mammals constituting two families, the phenacodontid and meniscotherudw.” It was about time this sub-order was proposed. We should have made such a proposition two. years ago, but didn’t want to appear too os- tentatious and previous. [t will fill a long- felt want. We are receiving hight from stars which have long since ceased to exist. It would be | of much greater importance to the human fam- , however, if we were receiving light from a gas company that had long since ceased to exist, for then its diabolical collector would not come around four times a year with a gas bill of colossal proportions Pror. ‘THEO, GILL recently read before a scientific body a very interesting paper on “The Development of the Chiropterygium from the Icthyopterigium.” The subject is ‘one o1 great moment to the people of America at the present time. To be sure, it lacked what the Tribune critic calls corroding gloom and the far-off gaze of the haunted soul; but it very exhaustive. All who heard it we exhausted inside of ten minutes. The chirop- terygium, it may be as weil to explain for the benefit of the unscientific reader, is as <itfer- ent from the icthyopterigium as the—the—as the icthyopterigium is from the chiroptery- gium, And yet it docsn’t scem possible. Tue music which Parnell & Co. were about to pipe for Gladstone to dance to, was sud- denly changed to a funeral dirge by the knives of assassins. comicbooks.com