Judge — May 13, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A FREMONT (0.) MADRIGAL. Banps of old have sung the vine: Such a theme shall ne'er be mine! Weaker strains to me belong— Pwans sung to thee, Souchong! Give me, then, my cup of tea, Brewed by Mra, H—yes’ decreo; And, to make the flavor come, Please to add a dash of rum! PIGHEADEDNESS. BY ‘BRICKTOP.” AGREAT many men ¢oclight in this sort of athing. They make ita Loasted point never to give up anything they undertake, no mat- ter if the scheme be a losing one. If sticking to a point worsts them in every way, they had rather have it to say that they did as they in- tended to do rather than to have it said of them that they changed their course and suc- ceeded. Peleg Biggs is one of that sort. You can scarcely say that he is pigheaded, for ou account of his size he might with more propriety be called hogsheaded, but it was religion with him never to abandon anything. he undertook, Ani all through life it has got. him into all sorts of scrapes, and it is extremely doubtful if he has a solitary friend in the world, owing to his mulish tenacit; # Indeed, it is a question whether the rough experience which he got last Monday will cure him of his cussedness, butet was quite enough 4 to give a mule serious thoughts. . At Park Row he espied a Third «venue car a rod or two away from him; going up town, and although there was another’one going in the same direction, and, in fact, no: farther from him, coming up belimd,. h¢:made up‘his mind to ride in the advance caror perish. It was a rainy day, and you know how the streets are at such times since the ‘ Plunger” has had them in hand, and swinging his umbrella with an accompanying whoop, he started through the middle of the strect after that car. : The conductor was busy. They are almost always busy—with their thoughts, or.in. look- ing out for the “spotter,” or taking: up:the affairs of other people. ‘At all events he leaned gracefully back upon the rear dash-board of the car, and looked straight ahead. Indeed, all of his senses ap- peated to be engaged for the moment in that particrlar business, and had there been a fog- horn vellowing in his rear instead of Peleg Biggs, he would not have noticed it. Bat several other people did. however, and before he had whooped half adozen times for somebody or something to stop that car, at least a dozer. pedestrians were shouting the same thing. Then the boot blacks and other boys in the street took up the ery as they saw Biggs splashing the nud in every direction while trying with all his might to gain on the car, All to no purpose, however, for Biggs was not gaining a foot upon it, notwithstanding the yelling that was being done in his behalf; but on he splashed all the same. Presently the boys changed the ery of “Stop that car,” for “Stop thief!” and as that is decidedly more sensational, and as Biggs looked like an escaping marauder, everybody took it up and joined in the chase, although that conductor did not appear to hear anything, and presently went into the car to collect fares, “Stop thief! stop thief!” rang out fromevery side, and the crowd pursuing the pigheaded man was fast augmenting. Two policemen suspected that something was up, and that the crowd would be with them in case they asserted their authority, and so they drew their clubs and joined in the pursuit. But Biggs was holding his own against his pursuers,if not gaining any upon the car, and, indeed, he might have escaped had not some- body who heard the cry taken it upon himself to put out his foot and trip him up. | Biggs went down, and being somewhat ro- | tund, he rolled over in the slush several times before being able to overcome his momentum, This did not add to his beauty much, but before he could regain his feet the policemen were upon him. Regarding himas thorough ly safe, they began clubbing him. | Of course he yelled and called upon tliem to ‘stop, but all raseals are apt to do that, and so. they--kept on pasting him, while the boys in the crowd, who regarded it as tirst-rate fun, ‘ctied: “Give it to him!” and encouraged the officers in the execution of their duty. Biggs yelled one way and the crowd anoth- er, but Biggs was really the aggrieved party notwithstandjng. After bruising him-in every avaiiable spot, they yanked hin ‘upon his fect and asked him | what the matter was with him anyhow. | Then Biggs uncorked his mouth and called those officers all the pet names he could think of jfist then, together with a somewhat graphic opinion of police officers in gencral, But herein he made another mistake, for | policemen are only human, and instead of listening patiently to his opinion of them, they got mad and rushed him before a Tombs mag- istrate. yon? And when that august potentate mildly ask. ed what the trouble was, Biggs made hi third mistake by. launching out the thunder- bolts of his rhetorical eloquence and giving | the court his opinion not only of it, but of the whole municipal machinery, from the ash-box inspectors up to the mayor. “What has-he been doing?” asked the court. : us ts) “We caughthim running up Chatham street with acrowd behind him shouting ‘Stop thief ! at the top of their voice,” said one of the officers. “You infernal idiotsyI was running after a car,” howled Biggs. “That may be, Mr. Biggs. You might be either running after or away from one, see- ing that they run only about ten rods apart, but whether you are a thief or simply a suspicious character, I deem it my duty to lock you up three days for contempt of court, at the end of which time I will have your ante- cedents looked into.” “But, confound your honor ——” “Away with him!” and before he had half THE RIGHTS OF TENANTS, Hare the tenants on the second floor any right to use car-trumpets, and then complain of the noises that are mae on the third floor ? achance to cither explain or free his mind, he was hustled into a cell and locked-up, It is one of the safest places in theswWorld to swear andabuse people in a prison cell; but whether it was cr not, Biggs shook out all his reefs and went in to do the snbject justice if pessible, Prisoners in adjoining cells yelled at him to shut up and give bis mouth a rest, but he kept at it until he swore himself hungry. It took hima whole week to get out of that scrape; and yet, for all that, he will not admit that he was not right in trying to get upon that particular car, even though there was another within half a minute of it. A good suit of clothes ruined; a week's time lost, and black and blue spots enough to last him for at Ieast a month—and all because he was so pigheaded. SryLocRaPHIC pens are all the style for graphic writers, and yet a pair of shears and an unctuous paste pot will double discount it in getting up ‘copy ” in a hurry. Tuey are putting summer resorts in shape for the coming season, and ‘‘ home comforts ” are being advertised recklessly. ARE royal weddings followed by royal family jars, just the same as the other kind are? comicbooks.com