Judge — April 29, 1882 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING CO,, Nos, 18 & 15 PARK ROW, N. Y. PUBLISHED ONCE TERMS TO SUE BSCRIBERS. (Uxrrep STATES xD One Cops, one year, or $2 numbers. ‘Ove Copy, six months, or 26 numbe: One Copy, for 13 weeks... a" POSTAGE FREE. “GO Address Tue Ivpor Pusat INO CO., 13 & 15 Park Row, NOTICE! Contributors must pat their valuation upon the articles they send to us (subject to a price we may ourselves fix), or other: wise they will be regarded as gratuitous. Stamps should be inclosed for return postage, with name and address, if writers wish to regain their declined articles. Beware of Robeson! Ture is something excruciatingly funny to the non-partisan in the vehement warnings given by prominent newspapers to the new Secretary ofthe Navy, William E. Chandler, vo beware of “ that man Robeson.” * The rubi- cund countenance of the jolly old sea-dog of New Jersey must become white and blue by turns as he reads the one thousand and one instructions, each beginning with, ‘Beware of Robeson,” that arc laid down by those news- paper editors who feel compelled at. times to take the affairs of state into their own hands. Imagine the guileless Chandler captured by the desperado Robeson! Perish the thought! Knowing the pure and imnmacilate Chandler as we do, and fecting called upon to assist our esteemed contemporaries in preventing the country from going to destruction, we urge that.this unsophisticated ‘individual from the * green hills of New-Hampshire shall beware of “that man Robeson.” We are assured. by our esteemed contemporaries that Robeson is a bold, bad man, and that while Secretary of the Navy he expended many millions of dollars in some mysterious manner, and retired from the department, leaving behind him a few battered canal boats, which are yet spoken of as the United States Navy. Ifwe remember correctly, Chandler had something to do with what our buncoed friend Adams called the greatest fraud in American history, but if, when he retires from the Naval Department, he shall take these canal boats with him, the country will forgive him for all his sins. The Jews’ Revenge. Tue retirement of the firm of A. T. Stewart & Co. from business must be an‘geeasioii for great rejoicing among our Hebrew cousins. ‘The utter inability of Judge Henry Hilton to wear the shoes cast off by the late: lamented dry goods king was manifest when his first attempts were made to manage the Vast in- terests which dropped like the capital prize of a lottery into the hands of a lawyer of very ordinary grasp. When the new king of | sessions, and gazing upon the si the dry goods trade placed the crown upon his head and ascended the throne he could not help seeing that the princes were inclined to laugh in their sleeves and predict his down- fall. Like kings in other walks of life, he at once determined upon an iron-handed policy, and his army of slaves soon found themselves under the rule of a master even more despotic than his royal predecessor. Notwithstanding the fact that he possessed large stores, hotels, and mill properties, he discovered that shekels were not so plentiful as he wished them to be, and the horrible fact dawned upon him that he would be compelled to borrow money in order to stand the pressure, Ata time, too, when business rivalry was especially active, and when his competitors were straining every nerve to dethrone him, he staggered his courtiers by issuing a procla- mation that Jews should not be permitted to enter hisSaratoga hotel. His crusade against the Jews sent -his name into the newzpapers throughout the civilized world, and every Jew cut it out’and pasted it in his hat. It seemed like an idlg boast when a Jew banker of na- tional reputation said, at the time the procla- mation’ was issued, ‘I will give Hilton five years to ruin, A: T. Stewart & Co.'s business and retire.” 0. five years have not yet elapsed, and this distinguished Jew still lives, and has the proud satisfaction of seeing his prophecy fulfilled. Judge Hilton can now safely say that he knows more about Jews than he did when he sought to degrade them by forbidding them shelter and food in his famous Sartoga hostelry. That the Jews of America and other lands have materially aided in driving him out of business there is every reason to believe. They have taken by the ear an incompetent man who might have made aliving as a lawyer, but who was totally use- less in the mercantile community, and literally “bounced him.” This is the plain and simple story of King Hilton’s downfall. - The. oppos- ing forces were too many for him... He was not a second A. T. Stewart. IP he had been, he never would have “umdertaken' such th war- fare as that begun at Saratoga. Judge Hilton now says that he feels ‘very, very sad,” when he looks over his-vast pos- ~ thousand employees, who areas dear to him as though they were his own gons‘and daugliters, realizes that all of them- myst, g0.<?Many of these white-haired, shivering atdhalfstarved crea- tures have, he says, grown up from childhood” in the establishments ofA;°T. Stewart & Co,, and the pain which the parting will create will be very great. If we are to trust the pens of. the reporters who were permitted to feast theit eyes upon Judge Hilton, and to--listen- “tg his sad and almost heart-rending -evory, “OF thé Jov- ing relationship existing .b between thé: em- ployees—male and femmle, we presumé—and | himself, tars Wlist have trickled addwn the face of the man who, when Park Commission- er, desired that the bronze stasugs tiithg.Cen- tral Park should be painted white. © 227 7 We fancy we can hear voices from Green- wood, Cypress Hill or Potters’ Field, crying out to us, and asking whether it is true that there is one man or one woman, one boy or one girl, in all Judge Hilton's kingdom, wko can forget the tyrannical conduct of bosses and the starvation wages paid in A. T. Stew- art & Co.'s establishments, before or after the demise of the founder of those places! In justice to the dead, as well as to the living, Judge Hilton's story of the cordial relations between the employees and himself should not go unanswered, and it can be answered in the homes of the poor and wretched, even if voices from the grave can not be heard, Jumbo Drunk Again. “Tue old man’s drunk again,” is, we re- gret to say, a remark too frequently heard in certain cities, towns, villages, or hamlets throughout the universe, but ‘the elephant’s drunk again” is certainly something new in this land of freedom, and in referring at all to the matter we merely wish to extend the hand of sympathy to that great apostle of temper- ance, P, T. Barnum. We contemplate with horror the spectacle of Jumbo ‘drunk and disorderly,” and in the hands of the “finest in the world,” and tremble for the peace of mind of our brethren in Philadelphia, who may, during the coming week, meet this most reck- less of elephants in the thoroughfares of that city of white stoops. And in this connection we beg to assure the descendants of William Penn that Mr. Barnum is making strenuous efforts to persuade Jumbo to ‘swear off.” The great showman first espied Jumbo in the act of osing of a bottle of whisky while the beast was in his box on board the steam- ship Assyrian Monarch. Mr. Barnum, necd we say, was, like ourselves, horror-stricken. He reasoned with Jumbo, and took into his confidence two temperance orators attached to_bis show, ‘Tody Hamilton and stalwart showman. Mott, These orators were furnished witha’ plentiful supply of cash by Col, M. F. Young,:the treasurer, and bidden to quench Jumbo's thirst with ginger-ale and soda-water, and like: harmless fluids. A large curtaii one. about two miles wide—should fall ut this interesting poiht in our statementof facts. But we cannot refrain.‘from saying that Jumbo turned up at ‘the greatest,” etc., on earth in an alarming state. of-ipebriety. The police officers, as-it were, having ‘him in tow, or he having them in tow, An investigating com- mittee has been’ appointed bythe Senate to inquire into, his: conduct, “and’ an exploring party’has started in search of Hamilton and Mott. Philadelphians, be on-your guard! tory.is turning out a great shocs, ostensibly for the Scatjdinavian trade, At first “I was thought that the shingle business was, giving out, and ‘that -these. wooden‘ shoes were intended ‘for slippers for irate mothers. * But, it is now gen- erally understood: that they'are meant for the punishment by “fathers 6f lovers.;who hang round.the front steps. “ Woodest thou go?” says.the father to the young*man, and if he "Uoesn't go, he woodests him himself. The young man either takes tu the woods, or de- .clares that neither leather boots nor live-oak brogans can kick the love out of his heart. Beauty is more than skin deep—in a sau- sage. comicbooks.com