Judge — March 25, 1882 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. And, to the close observer, looked Well fed on pork and beans. m I met ber on the * narrow gauge,” In dreary, dubious weather; Oar train was stayed by drifted s1 The wh Ther 3 et pi house or chopper arer than fourteen 1 Wy, quoth I, *do you not scare? ww the shadows thicken’ and The day's ‘most don Worst humped than The clear, shrill voice came rippl “Don't take me for a chicken!” o Astounded at lent gat a She chewed her knotted handkerchief Then beamed with sudden smi y. Who struck Billy My dad has jist struck il er uncouth speech, T rose and paced tha © what a rev im-lit car— ation? on a tour, And soon Uo €1 Relief was close at et hours of rou But ere I parted from the maid, Who had my idols broken, She said, “See here, if you are miffed I wiah I'd never spoken. Come see us in Hoboken ERRATIC ENRIQUE. BLESSED are the peace-makers, but John Hayes got fired full of lead the other day in Montreal for trying to make peace between two fighting negroe: | A Couple of Classics. ORPHE :US was born early in life, and soon acquired everlasting fame as the original hand-organ man, It was generally supposed that when he played on the instrument he had invented all the trees in the vicinity wood come by various routes to hear him, so skill- ful was he in the various branches of his pro- fession, It is true that they moved, but in a contrary direction, At the first note they would pack their trunks and leave. On thi account he was often employed to clear tim ber land. Orpheus was a moral man. He never went to pool-rooms or Sunday-school picnics, He watched over his ha tender care that only a creditor could exceed. It is said he even went down into the basement of creation to bring her back to himself, but it is probable that he was only hunting a cool corner for his own future use. The jews-harp was also invented by this great man, The monkey, the natural accom- niment of the hand-organ, was invented later. Orpheus also wrote “ Pinafore.” ‘Then he died. ULYSSES, ‘This is the man that drank the Cyclops un- der the mahog: He didn’t “look upon the wine when it was red,” cither; he alv drank white wine. The Cyclops found him deceiver, but. he has reformed, and now tells the truth three or four times a day, Ulysses took a leading part in the siege of Vicks——, we mean Tro; After this he didn't know what to do with himself, so he traveled in Europe for a while; when he came back his friends didn’t know what to do with him. There some talk of running him —= | CHIN | ies oF ASSORTMENT oF GOOLIE SLAVES} CONSTANTLY ON \ AUCTION SALE| Tas 7 LARGE VARIETY for the office of Grand Mogul, but the latest report is that he will travel with P. T. Bar- num, ‘Tuereare with many people three scientitle astronomical phases of married life. the honeymoon, then the obscure man in the moon, and then the moldy moon that green cheese, with greet i monsters in it. This is what leads many men, who timidly approach home, to sing, “Hold the Rochfort, weare coming,” which shows that the chee is so lively that it needs holding. Some of the English cheese is so high, not merely as to price, but as to buoyancy of spirits, that it is Stilton, Wituiam H. Vaxpersi.t’s Maud § proverbial. (ty) is Hist to ostentatious charity dispenser If you wish to do good, do it for goodness Ir is an extreme ca for the good of sci compelled to part with his w practically demonstrate the real value of time. | | Wnar is better than presence of mind in a railway accident? Absence of body. | MeteorotocicaL: During the past week there have been some severe frosts at Berne | (Switzerland), but the heat in Chili has | intense, been It is frequently said of a man that he is in advance of his time. But it would never do | to speak of a woman in such fashion. CHANCE ESE GCompan| BE FORE OFFER A WE RETIRE Fas } Gus! 'S | ACCS " SLAVES —- interferes. comicbooks.com