Judge — January 28, 1882 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 | THE JUDGE. 13 “ How to Preserve Dead Bodies” wa fue ‘New Century Club” of PI headline that caught the eye of Mrs. is composed entire phor, as she picked up a scientific paper. | the “weaker sex,” should havea club fur pro- “Good gracious!” she exclaimed, “what tection, What is sauce for the is ditto won't they preserve next! L thought it was fo r, the poct tells us; and now the bad enough when they got to preserving ludies of the New Century Club can go home autumn leaves, but dead bodies—ugh! A an hour after midnight with the bows of body nowadays don’t know what th gets to ties er round under their left cars, | tin’ when they buy store prese And she «their hats erushed all out of shape—the went to the closet to sce if the quinces she! put up had “ worked.” hiladelphia of women—who, being wling and singing, ‘Sallie, fill—hie—up or something that’ way, without A MaGaziNe writer says: “There is an un- their husbands sitting up for them — | urrent of suppressed yearning, alin with remarks suitable for the occasion. : akinto pain, that belongs tothe natural music | jut they shouldn't undertake to mollify their of Norway.” We have noticed the si n peculiarity in the natural music of Italy considerabl ing isquitea ing fora de husbands by explaining that they were “down ly | at the lodge,” or “up at the office taking ac- ymore so, The suppressed yearn- | count of stock.” ‘The men have been there, kin to pain—and consists in yearn: | and know how it is then lub with whic elves. | to smash the musical si instrument into small bits. As long es A this} Typrisosment for life” is a very partial Our Original Norristown Budget. | yearning is suppressed the Italian artist who sort of punishtvent, It discriminates in favor = revolves the crank is safe. Ile doesn't suffer | of the older criminal. ‘The man of seventy “Now, doctor, id old Mrs, Pinaphor, | pain, but the man who yearns does. who is sentenced to prison for life is likely to inspecting the bottle of medicine lett by her serve thirty years less than the youth of twenty physician, “if this is some of the stu! made | A “ RAILRoap War” is reported in the | who receives a similar sentence. A more just by one o' them men who print their picters in | West. And now, of course, the price of gold, | plan would be to give each ninety-nine years, their advertisements, I won't swallow a drop | and oats, and leather, and mustins, and flour | and let it g of it, because they look ’s if they didn’t know | and things will go up to altitudinous figures. how to do anything but raise a long crop of | We never heard of a “war” that didn’t raise | 4 priyter in New Mexico can spell any hair, and appear as though they'd been eatin’ | the price of such things like all possessed, word that may be pronounced to him as pickles.” ‘The doctor assured his observant | | backward as anybody can forward, ‘There patient that the medicine was as harmless as | A MAN in Marlsville stole two coflins and es- are printers in this section of the country who water. “And,” he might have added, ‘about | caped. The citizens are now watching the | ean surpass the orthographical freaks of the — | | as expensive.” cemetery, for fear he will return some dark | Ney Mexico compositor. In “setting copy” —- night and steal a vault. They must have an they often commence in the middle of a word itis his design to go West andstarta Ir is one of the funniest things in the world, | idea th | and spell both ways at once, and when it ap- And also one of the most curious. A genius | graveyard of his own. nears in “proof” it looks like the double- are : bs SE P I in Ohio built a ship that would run across} ae . | fields, jump fences and scale mountains, He | _ SOME one has ¢ A that the Fourth of fitted it out with a erew and provisions for | July in the y y weilloome<on gt ucad two years, and started on an expedition in That will suit us, We were afraid it would = arch of the North Pole, ‘The third day out | HaPPeM on Monday, and we dislike to have | How Pipes Understood Oscar he lost his reckoning, and after one of the | $¥° holidays telescoped, as it were. Vennor — oo tnost wonderful voyages on record, the vessel | SHould now tell us whether the day will be | Fxow his recent lecture, the following is a halted at the residence of Charles Francis | Cla? and pleasant, or rain with thunder and | yery clear impression of what Wilde says Adams, the frigid statesinan of Massachu. | lightning, so that Sunday-schools may arrange | gstheticisin i setts, having got on a wrong scent, asit were, | F their picnics. If he predicts fine sun- | + stheticisin pooper is the combination of | ‘This is reliable, if true. shiny weather, of course the picnics will be | matter over the irresistible impulse of the postponed until the next clear day, concrete or obsciete speetator seeking the a or information, or disturbing the elements of the spiritual amalgamation of the convex tremulousne of the sublima jointed cognomen of a Russian general, gar- nished with spikes. w. In England it costs £300 to raise a boy, cradled among the poorer classes, from birth to manhood. In this country, if a boy, when about sixteen years old, starts out as a chromo AN absentminded ex-<ircus agent, now cierking for an undertaker’s establishment, wrote out a business advertisement the other day and took it to the office of a local news- 3 of art, at the distinct advance y or controlling influence of | eddler, he ca “raised” ha the mind over the suggestive thought, or of peddler, he can get “raised” half a dozen | oo to secure itsinsertion, 'Thenewspaner a times a week for nothing, as long as he re. | P&Per t© secure itsinsertion, The newspaper | sustaining coneroasness, when a man is so man took the advertisement, and was some- what perpiexed when he read: “The - est Concern on the Road! Wait for the Boss se, drawn by a pair of beautiful coal. | black steeds, richly caparisoned, and ga nished with plumes as black as midnight! Our Aggregation of Coffins Strike the beholder | with awe and admiration! Single admission | ten dollars and upward; children, half price. | No dead-heads admitted! Gentlemenly ushers | Paor. Cueyye is going to try to reach the | in attendance. Don’t forget the time and North Pole in a balloon. The scheme may be | place!” ‘The newspaper man said it appeared practicable, but the fact that the professor's | to be a new departure in such announcements, | immediate female relatives have been recently | but if he was the undertaker’s clerk he would consulting fashion magazines to ascertain the | omit the line, “No dead-heads admitted,” for latest styles in mourning wear, wauld seem to | it seemed to him that the admitting of such | indicate that they don’t invest much faith in | characters was the biggest part of an under. the undertaking, taker’s bus | mains in the business, | elaborating the fitful pulsations of the carbonic | artery, as it governs the acidity of an Hlower-pot, or geranium, or even the s of space, so far as the primary or intuitive handling of a painting by Gocthe, in which the lovely ‘Lily,’ is entirely predicated on the crookedness of the ‘sun-flower,” or where the theoretic clement of the French revolution is made so utterly didactic tuat the witchery of its golden hues is so incomplete that the commercial spirit of England is without doubt the truest element in the phosphorescent and cestatic government of the spheres of both col- onies as far as this country never was.” Newsparer men are the most careful people | yy, in the world. We hardly ev—we seldom, that is, hear of one of them ha picked of ing his pocket And his wife is just as She never has $30,000 worth of Is stolen, 1,000 BESARD for & pertame ike Reais Geax LOUU peciness cous took Orst premium at at) | ra; also The. as pronodnced ness comicbooks.com