Judge — January 14, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN AESTHETIC GREETING. it Mety Wetoome hither, First born of + Aathetic truth Prophet of the age, forsooth! Bear the lily in thy hand; Walls of brass could not withstand Thee, oly marvel of England! li Into heart Thi thy gushlike mud-slush steal that cannot feel ¢ own utter common veal! Let thy wonls, if not so smart, Pervaul For a jack of donks thou art! ry anxious heart; THEATRICAL BRIEFS. May it Pease ‘our Honor: In compliance with the instructions I received to chedule of the number and charseter of visits and received on the Ist of January by the several ladies and gentlemen of the theatrical profession, 1 have to report as fol Mr. Theodore Moss called several times Creator to inti tn ing upon the dilatory contractor, wh threatens to postpone the opening of th lack’s, Mr. Charles RR. Thorne, Jt., called upon Miss Sara | Jewett, Miss Rose Eytinge, Mr. A. M. Paliner, and | other intimate friends He also called for two whisky | cocktails when nobody was looking on. Miss Minnie Cummings, the “actress,” so called, re- ceived, among other visitors, several distinguished members of the Tombs squad, the celebrated “million- aire,” her guardian, Mr. Jobn J. Hoyt, Mr. Isaac Reid, a few eminent deputy sheriffs, and a friendly hint to Jament some other profession than that to which she clings by the coat-tails, 80 to speak. The beautiful Mr. Tillotson, of the Park Theater, re ceived calls all day at his palatia! residence (a brow: stone wing of Mr. Abbey's treasury). Mr. Tillotson was exquisitely attirod ina ravishing costume, fall-lress coat, de collette shirt, diamonds, and crimpul whiskers. He was admired by all who had the good fortune to see , and was the life and soul of a most distinguishe gathering. Mr. Osmond Tearle intendet to call all twenty thousand love-sick maidens who are overlook his stiff neck in consideration of the manly grace with which be throws himself into statuesque at- titudes. Unfortunately Mr. Tearle was preventel from carrying out his benevolont intentions by the sudden illness of Mr. Gerald Eyre, who, it seems, hi faint from comtemplating the charms of his friend. | Mr. Willian Elton all ly upon a doctor to as- certain, If possible, why somebody, on the night befor had actually laaghed at one of Mr. Ett | tov frame a ma the direst and mos ° tanliness new Wal- on upon the glad to grown, Miss Fanny Mor | day tong on New ¥ ppgirls, at- | tracted by her guarantees to put them all upon the stage within three weeks, at salaries of $125 apiece Mr. Charles E. Collins received calls from morning Ull night. A large portion of his receipts took a | strictly eash form. Mr. Joseph Tooker called upon every free spread every hotel in New York. He was removed to his resi dence at nightfall in a happy conditio Mr. Charles Backus spent Cemetery, callin; graves for new jokes and original humor. Mra. Joaquin Miller, the poetess “at home” to a large and diversified collection of other old ladies, Miss Selina Dolaro ‘a tremendous reception somewhere, from which M. Desfoasez was unaccount: bly missing. Mr. Charles A, Byrne received Mr. Louis Post, Mr, William F. Howe ar friends, at the Tremont House, B erously paying all expenses Mr. Andrew Dam assisted Mr. Henry E. Abbey to nt received calls—and fees ar’s from ambitious 4! all in Greenword oseph Hart, Mr. om, Mr. Hart g a. upon the tenants of its various | 1 other sincere | THE JUDGE. receive, among others, Mr. Townsend Perey, Mr. J. I. Rowe, Mr. Samuel Colville and Mr. James W. Morris. sey. Mr. Dam also called for the $250 which Mr. Abbey forfeited to him as the penalty for drinkin glass of cl |” Mr. James Morrissey, exquisitely costume |. received ten thousand of “the only friends I've got in the world,” from 10 to 4, in the Gilsey Ho His coiffure Was a la princesse ; his pantaloons were cut «la Persienne, bis rings were numerous and beautiful I. is Lonquet le and his smile was fascination corsage Was a marvel of the Morist’s art. As a inal idea, Mr, Morrissey’s callers we galal on inexpensive but toothsome ¢ Mr. Joseph Brooks called several times, and in- variably raked the pot Mr. Even Plympton intended to devote t calling, but had the misfortane to see his own re amirror. He has re speechless contemplation of th tacle. All of which is respectfully submitted. Tue Rereree. exclusive fectionery lay to lost in pee- all but divine Mr. Fresh. OF all objectionable people probably the most obnoxious is the fresh individual who insists upon interpolating his drivel into every | conversation. You have heard him, on the | street car, at the theater, on the elevators in our large buildings; in all public places where | there is an opportunity of chipping in, Mr. Fresh may be found, Aman of this type always makes a dis- | agreeable impression upon one at sight, and woe betide you if you are so unfortunate as to make his acquaintance; he will hound you to | the death; you cannot shake him off, for | he is impervious to insult, Should you see | him a half square off, you dart into the first door; whether it leads into a Chinese laundry or a blacksmith shop it makes no difference, you have urgent business calling you there at once, Such a fellow one learns to shun instinct- ively; if you had been a sojourner in distant lands and hae not seen a familiar face or heard a known v or years, and should | catch a glimp: Mr. Fresh on a oasis that you had been secking in the desert of Sahara for a week, you would voluntarily go out a ice little farther in the desert, cover yourself up | with sand and think for a couple of days, rather than encounter him,—Cincinnati Sat- urday Night. WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS, W, L, Baxrox.—Accepted with thanks, MeLioy."—We have used a portion, for which we return thanks, 1, WHLDER.—Will you be good enough to favor us with your address? sto tein tune. Study and practice will do sou g Gronor Saw.—Tne JCDGR never saw a worse poem than | sours. tut the omice boy saul it was good, and pnt it in his | tag. Me says if the Spring poets have good prospects for the coming Fourth of July. | Some."—We are sorry that yo ke that, We had no intention answer in partment, but yon mas not be the perso spoken of at all, for if we mistake nct there are several "Joba, Smiths” 1n the country. ¥ pan out well be will feel sore over a litte thing wound sour feelings in our you sent in your article you neither pat ‘pon it nor meutloned remuneration {nang way, there Kat for granted that tt was a gratuitous transaction fon your part. This will not only apple to you, bat to others to whom these presents may bome, State your price. of forever | aner hotd your peace, “Banxey.”"—Haven’t you dropped an “1” or something oat | of sour name? | RM. Crart.—Vers good, but you have not set struck it so “ERRATICS.” Be careful, my children, in making perti- nent remarks that they do not smack of im: pertinence. Human nature is like a thermometer: but you must never expect a high resolve from a mean man, Tue longitude of a romping girl's laugh is counted East or West from Grin-witch, You can afford to turn over a new leaf with- out jerking the tablets of memory off thei hinges. BANK-NoTE paper will stand a strain of from three to four pounds a square inch, providing it is not in the hands of a spendthriN or a Oscar WILDE hath erossed the Cabined snug in Guion steamer His * mamma” came not with he— Coddled wsthete, dawdling dreamer, Let this spooney view the town, Holland grit and thrift created, And while he’s in study brown, Oscar should be vaceina When his seab hath fairly bloomed, How the too-too tutelary Saintly Oscar will be groomed By cach light-brained ordinary. Nobby noodles on the “Av. Christened “ Fifth,” in hig Will his affectations Down demfvine; they will, by jingo! hway lingo, 7 “PEARLS of thought oysters. pine from deep see AMONG bliss of the good things of this life is the jorance, Few wise men are hap Axp Chester said unto Timothy: ‘ Howe | will the Post-Oftice Department nr stamp?” And he was solid on the suit. Literary cobblers peg away at abstruse theories and wax the threads of uinent, He was a thin-soled, battered hulk of the genus tramp, and opened his vocal fusilade, thus: “I am, dear sir, the offspring of thrifty parents, who early familiarized me with hard work. Hence my contempt for it. Have you ‘a quarter to spare a candid man?” We gave | him our address, and told him to call when the dog was tied loose, May there never be a total celipse « ‘un recorded in the annals of metrop< journalism. “The Judge” Calendar. We publishea a beautiful calendar for the year 1882 with our last issue, and if any of our readers failed to get it with their paper, | we will cheerfully send them one, if they will | forward us their addr it a man of ——- oe oa comicbooks.com