Judge — December 10, 1881 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= A BAD SHOT. Ou, heard you the wail of the roaming raccoon, Ag it rang through the darkness uncanny and shrill? It frightened the children into a swoon, Lying awake to the narse’s croon, Bridget muttered a holy tune, ‘And feared lest it boded ill. Bat ere the wailing weind was done— It rang through the darkness uncommonly sliril]— T reached from the corner my good shot-gun; Said I: Though miles that beast may Til have bis head by rise of sun, That coon it surely kill. But I had not a chase by the wild lagoon, Nor a tramp through swamp or boz, For I took quick aim at the fell raccoon, 1 took good aim by the setting moon, And shot—the neighbor's dog. DID YOU EVER? Did You Ever Go to a Corn Husking? OF course the answers are yes or no. Tue Jupce had an invitation to one last week, and he went He is an old-fashioned sort of a party, and corn huskings were nothing new to him, al- though many years have passed since he at- tended one. The scene of the proposed stripping wa about twenty miles out of New York, and on his arriving there he found fifteen or twenty of the farmer’s neighbors there, some double and some single, for farmers are prone that way as well as other people. ‘The farmer's wife and two rosy daughters were busy with the manufacture of pumpkin pies, baked beans, Indian pudding, and oth delights which were to grace the finish « husking, while both sweet and hard cider were ‘on tap to wash things down, And the people who came hilariously to a: sist in all this must not pass unphotographed. ‘The majority of them were genuine Yanks, and were trigged out, not in their best, but were “ spruced up” ewhat for the oc sion, a husking bee ranking next to a church air in importance with the Of course the neighboring funn n was | on hand. No gathering this side of a funeral amounts to anything unless he is there. There were a few men and their wives, but the ma- jority were young people who had not yet | closed up life's awful matrimonial gap, but who seemed anxious to do The gathering did not remind one much of acity “tea” or fashionable Murray Hill par- ty, but it was ten times as genuine. ‘The blushes on the farmer's apples and | pumpkins were no more natural than were those of the young people who gathered there, | some of them from miles away. The great barn tloor was stowed full of rus- set stalks, in front of which there was space for perhaps fity huskers. Overhead were hung a dozen lanterns, which shed an uncer- tain light upon the scene, and soon after dark the friendly com began the attack upon the yellow ears. The funny man, Funny men never do. They belong, or think they do, to all the girls in the neighborhood, and are amply repaid for all they do or say by receiving a laugh from the company. ny gathered in pairs and | s usual, had no girl. | THE JUDGE. Ani he is usually the master of ceremonies on such occasions, although in reality he acts more the part o a cireus farmer who has the husking taking the place of the ring-master, Each lad and lassie took places, and while | a general conversation was kept up, the main | object appeared to be to get as nearly hidden from view by a pile of husks as possible. “Now, yu fullers an’ gals,” began the fun- ny man, ‘I'm here tu du the kissin’, an’ the | fust gal that finds a red ear, I want her tu stand right up with it in her hand an’ I'll go ve her the kiss penalty.” “Not much! If my gal finds a red ear, I rather kakerlate I can du the kissin’ that goes with it,” put in one strapping young fellow, who looked as though he could kiss a mule, yet who blushed like a red onion as he spoke. And five or six others proclaimed their abil- | ity to do the same thing, provided their part- ners found the aforesaid “red ear,” while sev- eral others nudged their girls, and still others, who were further along in the courting busi- ness, blushed and swapped looks, which meant that they could | without any neighborly assistanc Waal, never mind, boys, we shall all © in for a smack whoever finds the red , for ther gal that does has ter kiss all round, But I sorter guess who I wish would find about a dozen of ‘um, one arter the other,” put in the funny man, and, of course, the whole com- pany laughed. And that humorous individual finally got on top of the pile of corn, the better to see which girl stripped a red ear, and naturally enough somebody undermined him and raised another laugh by bringing him down on the top of rebody else. Laughter, jokes and good humor pervaded the whole company, but meantime the farmer and his hired man were kept busy emptying the baskets of golden corn, for with all the funny business there was a large amount of real business done. tend to that sort of business Now and then a red ear would be found by some blushing damsel, and then a rash would be made to secure a taste of the penalty, re- sulting in more blushes, boisterous laughter, and a loss of many hairpins; young fellows are so eager, you know, More sedate ones talk of crops and county politics. Those on the verge of matrimoi squeeze each other's hands under the husks, but have little to say, leaving the general en- tertainment to the funny man and those dis- posed to exchange chatf with him. The huge pile of corn-stalks (nobody was entitled to say “cornstalk" but the funny man, who had come across the pun in an old almanac) soon began to grow beautifully les | while the husks by this time had become piled up £0 as to almost hide the huskers, which, of course, made it all the more interesting, as each couple thus became isolated from their neighbors. This gradual and welcome change was, of course, made the most of by the funny man, and roars of laughter and roses of blushes greeted the es of his unrestrained wit. True, it was a trifle broad at times, but that | had been prepared, and upon w | only made the blushes deeper on the girls and augmented the nud youn, But finally the corn was all husked, and the funny man was given another chance to raise a laugh by calling for the different couples to answer to their names, and threatening to prod with ay rk among the piles of husks if instant response was not made. After this horse play had been indulged in for a few minutes, the whole party adjourned to the farm-house, where a substantial supper h they fell son the part of the with appetites like handsaws, And here again the funny man got in his fine work and kept the table in a roar dur- ing the next hour. Oh, he was an exceeding- ly funny fellow, so they all said, and he evi- dently thought so himself, for he laughed at his jokes just as heartily as anybody else, and frequently led off at it. Perhaps, however, it was best that he should do so, since he knew exactly where the laughs belonged. After supper a dance was proposed, a regu: old-fashioned square dance, and a colored man living in the neighborhood scraped the requisite music out of an old fiddle, almost as black as he was himself, and this gave the funny man another chance to get in a laugh, by saying that he couldn't dance, because he had his Baptist boots on. ‘They might have been that kind, but they had never been Baptized in anything but grease, This winding up of the affair was the best of all, the heartiest of all. ‘True, the figures might have been done a tritle better, and the steps were not so graceful as they might have been, but they lacked nothing of vigor. ‘The older folks, some of whom were church members, were scandalized slightly by this dancing, but there was an abundance of hard cider for them to fall back on for consolation while manifesting their disapprobation, ‘Then the breaking up came; the getting of horses up to the front door; the muilling up; the cheery good-nights; the kisses and ex- change of invitations to pay visits; the flutter- ing hearts of waiting beaux, made up a picture not easily forgotten, It was not ‘ine, but it was genuine. It was not fashionable, but there was more honesty and truthfulness under those rough exteriors than can be found at any ‘‘ Kittle Drum” that ever agitated fashionable town society. And in passing an opinion upon it, Tue JupGE cannot help wishing that the low-vest- ed, swallow-tailed youths, the low-necked and long-trailed popinjays who take part in the heartless, fashionable gatherings he wots of, could extract as much genuine enjoyment, as much honest pleasure during one whole year, including the “season” out of town and in town, as these plain people take in at a single corn-husking, to say nothing of the fat which the funny man gathers upon his rib: Tue bouncing of Purroy out of Tammany Hall must have formed a beautiful spectacle to those whom he had helped bounce in the years that are gone. The mills of Kelly griud slow—all of which goes to show that a bird in a pie is worth two in the bush. comicbooks.com