Judge — December 3, 1881 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

to the point, Kill this elephant with a pi How did you That's what Mn eon 4 to, if you'll only 1 Bitkins, © You »phant stories in ten min give me time,” rejoin didn’t tell all your ¢ ates, and this is the only one lve got—ewe lamb, as it we + Well, atte tired, and he'd take up buy the elephant a new blanket, as the win: awhile the keeper said 1 1 little collection to was ter was coming on, and, if we were pleased, © anything we like sntle and had ailorded us se So, w we could #1 J, as the er ture was <0 much amusement. le he went round with a tinplate, and while mother was fishing out a shilling, | looked at the eleptiant and he did scem kin 1, with his trunk all h ing down and his eyes shut o'tir and looking a wore out, oT got at the side of the ¢ 1, with a pin Ud stuck into a stich right in the trunk and ran away “D— !" roared the Major, Is that all? “all the wi like ten steam-engines biewing olf and that clephant grew sualler and littler, and, Titer, until he sank on the floor with nothing lef of him but his skin, dying dead.” * Here Bitkiis bur and his sobs shook the whole root, for dl nonsen: Iwas all of the frightful hissin sphant, 1 you ever he: ut onl nd smaller, his head in his hands, min silen vnc ‘There was a ments, only broken by Pyle + What made him “Tt was his nature,” ture, He couldn't help it, rubber,” m inquiring collapse that way? said Bifkins, ‘*hisa Ile was India- Major, rising stitly hat-room, ‘* the rule= any man yrded as ny dentlemen,” said th and making toward tl of this club do not permit me to ea atiar, but [wish it distinetly re positive opinion that there is not a word « As , E shall enter my of the directors against Mr. Bifkins being allowed to continue ul the Major stalked out, left foot first, at a regulation thirty-thre inch march, and little Bifkins rang the bell, truth in the story we have just listened to. anand a soldi a gentlen protest at the nest meetin a member of this club,” and said How?" old Squittl ton woke up again and remarked: “Fir animals, elephants."—San Francisco News Latter. Ip any of our friends in the Western wilds feel murderousty inclined at this time, they are informed that a rich field is open to them in this city until the first of January, When Mr. Tracy coolly shot and killed Mr. Miller here the other day, Assistant District Attor- ney Beecher, son of t ut Brooklyn divi promptly urged Justice Donohue to admit Mr Tracy to bail. Mr. Beecher may not be fa miliar with the Code of Criminal Procedure in fact, may know no law at all, Would-be murderers will bear this in mind, and act quickly. Boss undertakers are now known as “ Man- ing Obsequitors.” Why them “ Punereai Filibusters,” and have the title elee- trotyped ? not call THE JUDGE. A FOREST BALLAD. On, snake the nuest of eS MMtrick Henry. Ir was a proud young lumlerman Who axed my heart and hand — If yew love meas T love yew HL be planned.” Jdloted on bis stulwart form, And. like a silly Thonght ne'er was Ny na smarter lal, =pruce Mis eyes were hazel in their hue, His hair was chestnut tint His mouth acer atterest locust we His breath ne'er stnelt of mint He had @ grasp for every palin, \ tend He was so poplar with They all for h grip for mine xirls, n did pine, He said Tevet ch Oak careful be te and always = little L know of the wor Tar booked up, Buttonwood.” He teft ane vd went by M for the leafy lad Anudrose ‘On chops to daily J willow any one a debit Of gratitude if Bring tidings of my ate w three long years a s eut down, abi, w We'll never wed in cl sure’s Mag Nolia is my name his Mackensie Bireb, But let us hope for better luck To come from Fortune's after Mac may plank a foe When Hymen grabs the ‘eli, n— Ani if he never should return, ‘The sequel may be xu Like Cleopatra, I shall With aspen grief-torn breast ANERULS THe Bernhardt was always great on the xetup, and 1 as got her back up, b Nn ypany here with her pre- sumes to the honor of abusing America, at she did it herself, ‘That is ri tallow anybody to steal any of the w she cause of her honors that belong to you, expecially this oue of satirizing a people who we \ivertised into making n your account and patting a few hundred thousand dollars We know how weak Ps us vols of themselves into your hu ery purse, pinuch gs to we are, and nothing ple rtcomings shown up and des- 1 by a superior race. have our sho canted ups “Ove sweetly solemn thought Comes to us, o’er and o'er "— ‘THe JopcE ne'er pays for articles Which have been used before. sat American plunger’s wife thinks her husband is a better man than she took him to be, Suri the SE solitary old girl show her new store clothes? us time Now speedily approacheth that j New Zealander” | should be a woman, to whom will the poor | , when Santa Claus will make his presents felt. | to a The Smith Family Mayy fan first this country claim tocome the oll They claim with pride what the of the ristocratic families of Ss have done, but they But themselve there nothing. fame und y by in this country t ore, furth of the haw, than any other, the noble a L stopped timin scoing any the base ininios 1 illustrions Smith family. O! noble name! ‘The bank eashier, when he balances his books, and tinds that there is a deficiency, and knowing that such things will not be taken, immediately assumes the sur name of Sinith and goes toward Canada. My sister had a fellow named Sinith once; he was a noble youth, just budding into manhvod, and mustache was in the same condition, her out and treat her to the thought that his ith used to ice cream, ete. never while he was taking her out sl him in; she liked Smith was tov short for he that it reflected on his pocke wd she lett him to hi: che. It is not generally known, but Vulean was the first member of the Smith family. He was a ith. He ruled the convention, and le more bolts than John Kelly has or ean ever expect to make. But the Smith family, through all ages, has been looked up to; and to belong to that family you must be a bank r The Smnith fainily has spread over the earth as fast pul take them; and in days to come, when the five-cent schooner and Jim Blaine will be forgotten, the Smith family shall rule the world, Tos, was taking said that and that thinking. x when he proposed sli uname like Montgomery nd he, -book, got madd, ate and mus black &1 president or cashier in some institution. steam THE JUDGE respecttully proposes that he after all epistolary ad of this paper shall be tifled bank check, or money-orde! year’s subscript as to the conduct companied by a cer: , covering a Buirrers sets his watch by the City Hall , and his friends sarcastically note that h believes in having a high old time. Tue Jupce mach prefers a cute contributor ute bronchitis.