Judge — December 3, 1881 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 THE VIGILANTE'’S STORY 1a, After bret Marte—a Ling Wave BY SAMUEL TIN SCRIBE Iysencest? Yaas that air, pened we didnt know Till arter the deed was yond all mortal repair see, one ni Jones’ war inissin’ f the k a thief, we hed viewest at by allowed, when we when we welt critter, Dant ol if Jones’ s‘picions pinted ary a man. He never Je? likel ther looks of that tarnal Me hed met him a couple times, an’ he didn’t look up nor speak An’ he conshlered that, on the hull, he war a slip'ry sort of sneak! Dan war a quiet sort of chap who lived ‘round (her bent of the road He bea come thar a short time before, whar from there's | no one knowel | How he live wife an’ he, war a puzzle, as henever | Ant stealin’ mules war a likely ‘nut je less shirk, or sech a shift- nl down to the cabin, some eighteen an’ advised hin to come without into hysterics an’ fainted dead e he war innercent, an’ axed for the to ; but we couldn't see it, an’ fetched him it along, | Au’ in less'n at mol and strong! te hed ‘round his neck a halter | We escortes} hitn hick’ry limb, ly strung up such Lose-stealing eritter shady spot ‘veath a gnarled old | Wh , that's bout the size of It, But first we offerest him a Last chance to confess as we expected he woul, Into eternity for all an’ good! | nger came runnin’ with face all scared an’ ablaneh, To say the mule hed been found 0. K. of the ranchet Sood Goll! An’ Dan war dead! ply Twas terril felt m on another part Don’t aay “twas sim- An’ thar wa'n't a Vigilanty but what | y bad. | We couldn't bring Dan hack; though if an X would 've done the job | Jones would hev glally paid it, as he sed with a sort of sob; But be did the square thing after all, did Jones, as 1 consider, He went right to work and took up a collection for the widder! “Do you know who you're pushing?” said one person to another at a ball, “No, and I don't care,” said the other, assuming a belligerent attitude. “Well,” said the other, cooling down, * my name is Charles Bowen.” A DISGUSTING | cotie trees Guiteau, 1i in the cars of 1 to favor him as | ling, mangy cur, harkin; tic at who has condescond her criminals are favored, less deserving. of favor than he is, It's almost a pity that his trial is not taking place out West, | THE JUDGE. A MIXED HUNTER He had been trying tor some time to tell a al but other somebody crowded him out at every attempt, Finally a friend interfered and asked to have him, and this be sensatior wry somehow a chance given agreed to, old Boozer commenced: “Allright. You see it was in Montana, J was hunting big mc across some hu: were as big as the track of a snow-shoe, and I knew the bear must weigh at least two ton. Bat 1 took the trail, (hie!) and followed for about the ‘There was about ten feet of b aniles, snow on the ground, and the rough, Well, finally I eame to a riv did river, all lined with tall grass and sp But still I followed the tracks of that bear in the snow until L came toa high did towers nh * Tt was dreadfully hot, and my elothing was wet through with perspiration, and if it | hadn't been for the snow that blew in iny face Bur ck of Tam sure [ should have died. don't you tit, (hiel) Tneverl that panther! [was bound to have him, And it rained—Lord! how it did cq “My gun was a breech-loader ainmunition, but it rained so hard, (hic!) it ‘ained somuch water that I had to swallow my cartrid That ‘cause I was so dry myself It was ter rible going, but the lion me th the pr Here he paused a moment as th gain the trail of his story. “Yousee I was bound to bring that elephant home, and after having it stuffed I was going to present it to the Travelers’ Clul there’s many a slip between the sidewalk and the banana skin, I got into'a bower of nar- I flowers, and the perfume ov me, hic T sat down on ke of ice nt to sleep. When I woke up that hip- popotamus was chawing away at my leg, and had it nearly off. Ofcourse I kicked with what I had left, but——” Here he fell asleep, and the party never heard the sequel of that wonderful adventure. continual] lown! 8 to keep ’em ¢ was ul ke ause he could make his way through rie grass faster’n I could, cal i and w Tur “Newfoundland be destroyed by s Banks" ‘ashiers. cannot Suspicion comes between a pair— He feels her digits in his hair, And rather thinks “she's got me there!” Ose of our compositors unblushingly s\ gests that it is the proper caper to set don- key jokes in bray-vier. Hote cities are embraced in Pennsylvania's oil territory. Tuvrtow Wrep says he has cast, more votes than Tle ought to be ashamed of himself if it's so. The idea of an old man like him stuffing the ballot-box and then telling ofit.—Down East | Daily. with tixed | p ahead of | ay other living nian in New York. | Clish-Clash. onclus like forced march, poor Larry Le for breath, Well,” might have been Tury had argument, “their a fat usual breakfast ier ht and, gre on i united “things: gasped ws much nd he ten- derly sopped his battered forehead with a wet + Yes," she ruped, “1 might have convineed you with a ttat-iron, but the poker worked to a charm, didw't it, lovey” Exit the reticent vietim in search of cobwebs to staneh the ruddy tow, An hou afterward Larry w ninise | tive worse,” towel. gently el ating his married brethren at the corne with a tale whieh was all head, grocery he disy Hoste, the gi to dri stepladdic, tried in his nail head first. Tom Saves, JR., His old goo on the connterpoint, too, is a musician, man wi M Haves tucks in his blonde hair behind, pls . and s that he had false teeth, sothat he could be mistaken for George Washington. lly down the village stre¢ wish JAY GOULD is suid to be good to a broker when he's broke, Ivory dust is sa Ifam he h nd made tany of it, he 1a billiard ball, into a jelly should ¢ nk Hl swallow would th Even ifa man isn't a bi old salt, fresh, that doc=n't prove that he is 3 AacksoN was telling a crowd that he verily believed that no living man could eat a quail every day for thirty days; that any man who cat up to twenty d the t pitiabl dust then a np Boss, cou s would be object on earth the a ive me son mi tone for him on rm, and sai pthing to ‘for pumpkin pie.” atter with i roast bi “What's the 1 Jackson. | “T'ma lost hunter. I've lived | twenty-five days, and am dying for Va like you?" asked n quail for nething new, chop or two, for instance, MiciGay is to havea new museum, it will contain M. Quad’s fur e: Hope Tue Intest se: head like a hor rines, probably. srpent is said to have had a One of the old horse-m: Somes at the Boston Fost has by me old and bald. But, of c, that is not true of its jokes. THE new British minister i Sorry, but there is very little ballet in Wash- ington. Tue reason why some of our restaurants put so many carrots 6n their Irish stew is to make it look red: comicbooks.com