Judge — November 19, 1881 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE PUBLISHING CO. Nos. 13 & 15 PARK ROW, N. ¥. A WEEK.! TERMS TO RIDERS. (Usrrep Staves axp Caxaba) 82 numbers, sar TOSTAGE FREE. “43 Address Tne JepoR PEBLisitisG Co,, 13.815 Park Kow, N.Y The Ninth Massachusetts. await with interest the action of the military commission sent to investigate the condact of the Ninth Massachusetts Regiment at the time of the Yorktown Celebration. From the evidence, it appears that the Bay State was upon this occ some of its most unworthy not only to conduct themselves hould toward their ho: stepped the bounds of common decency, and were guilty of a course of proceedings which hould bring upon them the punishment due in such cases, as it has already brought upon thom the contempt of lovers of order eve where. It should not be permitted to a rough persons to bring disgrace upon a great State. And it is only by swift and adequate punishment that Massachusetts can escape the odium now resting upon her from the inexcus- able behavior of the Ninth Regiment in Vir- ginia. as guests Banking Methods. Tur venerable, white-haired gentlemen whose spotless lives, elegant brown<tone houses, gayly-caparisoned teams, and liveried achmen make their namesshine out in the lists of bank directors, are responsible for more misery and deep profanity than their good old minds and hearts ever, perhaps, con- templated. When men and women who put their hard-earned money in a bank over which such “grannies” as these are supposed to be hovering in watchful care, who is to blame when all awake some fine morning to find that the cashier arose earlier and ‘ scooped in the po ‘The ‘trusted cashier,” at the head of his Sunday-school class, or seated in the front pew of the most fashionable church, is a pic- ture that delights the eye of the average old granny who is one of the directors of the bank. How could this aged man find it possible in his heart of hearts to mis- trust this sainted cashier? How could he, think of such diabolism as to question the ac- counts of such a model of sobriety and Chris- tian grace? How could he even stare at the books as though figures might lie? Paralyze the thought! Now that ancther institution has collapsed, and the modest gentleman, who was permitted to handle all the money, has | fitted the but who even over- | THE JUDGE. that he has robbed the depositors of | the unhappy farmer living they do with the old | what will “grannies” whose duty it was to see that he did not steal? The Combination Changed. Mike Cr Jake Patterson, Barney Big- lin, Johnny O'Brien, Bob McCord, Steve French, Bouquet Georgie Bliss, and the rest of the boys who often had opportunity to at- h themselves to “Ches" Arthur's private r may now find it difficult to realize that Ches” is no longer willing to ‘* chuck dice” with them for the beer. He who was the central figure in their nightly festivities, who knew more about the management of prim tions than all of them put together, is now President of the United States. ‘They who, with him, were wont to jingle latel-ke me lock, may well turn pale an tremble, when they find themselves in Was! ington and at the door of the White Hous How well they remember his joyful ms and the mate bang on the back which ived from him. old familiar lock is not ther smbination has been chan TE knows how hard it must be for boys to compare “ Ches” of a year ago with the President of today. But would he be entitled to his record skillful and shrewd politician were he not to recognize the fact that he has ceased to be ‘Ches" even with his old companions, and is President Arthur, with all the dignity and glory that attaches to the proud title which he wears? nner Now everything is Ir Archibald Forbes, the English journalist, whose waking hours are spent in detailing the wonderful things accomplished by him in the search for news, would obtain a situation as a reporter on a New York newspaper, he would find that his past career was filled with loafings by the wayside. Batted about like a base-ball by City editors, managing editors, and cditorsin-chief, attending funerals and festivals, balloon voyages and hanging matches, all in one week, would take the conceit out of him, and make hima quiet, unassuming gentle- man, as all New York newspaper men are. Our Sportsmen. Mr. Wort sees everything with an artist's eye, and at the same time he catches the hu- mor of passing events, as will be seen in one of our cartoons, where he has given us some sketches of hunting scenes on Long Island. These sketches are not exaggerated in the least, as any one knows who has ever traveled over the various railroads on Long Island at this season of the year. Our esteemed German fellow-citizen appears to be the most enthusiastic sportsman among us, and as soon as the shooting season begins he may be seen in all the paraphernalia of a huntsman, accompanied by one or more dogs, of any breed, from a poodle to a Newfound- land, making for the suburbs, It is comical to a passenger, who encounters perhaps fifty of them in a smoking car on their way, but to nywhere their ‘ meets,” there is nothing comical in the matter; quite the contrary, for they despise such things as fences or gardens when they happen to be in the way, and if about ten near | hunters and twenty or thirty dogs get after an unfortunate rabbit, they would not hesitate to overrun anything in order to capture it. In fact, they do more harm to property, as general thing, than they do to the game, for probably nine out of ten of them cannot fire a gun fatally, unless by accident, and if they turn at night, after a day's “sport,” with a sparrow or a robin, they celebrate the event as their ancestors used to when returning from the chase. To pture a rabbit or a quail oceasions the wildest rejoicing, and the successful hunts: a carrot hat for at least a week. pn wears: > in his Hoboken Firemen. THE folly of relying upon a volunteer fire department for protection against a contla- ition was abundantly proved by the action of the Hoboken firemen last Sun¢ ‘These worthies, being disaffected on account of some political wrangle, actually abandoned their duties, and, like a recalcitrant voter, re- fused to ‘‘run with the machine.” Fire or no fire, they would get even with the mayor in return for the slights they fancied he had heaped upon them. And get even they un- doubtedly did, while property to the value of nearly a million dollars vanished in smoke. ‘The result can only be the summary extinction of the volunteer department and the substitu- tion of a paid department in its place, “Tsay, old feller, come up to my golden wedding,” said one of society's darlings, who is to be married soon. ‘Why do you c: your golden wedding?” queried the one ad- dressed. “Oh,” replied the other, “ because her pa is going to shell out about $500,000.” He who is compelled to cat “humble pic” becomes very crusty. SoG of John Kelly: “Let the winds blow high or the winds blow low, My heart is true to Poll.” “Wet, didn't I tell you how it would be? it is rather a moist day when we get left.” “Bant it was an ‘off year’ anyhow.” “ And you're off yer ear on account of it! Whoop! set ‘em up again, Tom!” ‘Tue day of the strikes is over, And the ‘‘ gang” he controlled is no more, He's done with his living in clover, » And he “ hangeth” his henceforth score, Tue only persons that lose their dollars in Wall street are those that have no sense. It has been said that Tue Jupce is color blind, but he is rubbing up his color bump, and we'll see whether he is or not. a comicbooks.com