Yardbirds #1

When Privates Whitey Hicks and Windy Bragg finally get their tent up under the watchful eye of the long-suffering Sergeant Gruff, their troubles are just beginning—a mix-up with chow detail, a wrong turn at the stream, and a nighttime encounter with some unexpected "wolves" send the Yardbirds on a comedic misadventure through the wilderness. Will these two knuckleheads find their way back to camp, or will Sergeant Gruff's patience finally snap for good?

Privates Bragg and Hicks get a Public Relations assignment from Colonel Fumes—mail his speech and photo to newspapers across the state—but the two soldiers discover a lonely hearts magazine and decide to have some fun by submitting responses to wealthy women... using the Colonel's photograph. When dozens of lovestruck women show up at the base a week later looking for their "Colonel" sweethearts, the scheme spirals into total chaos, and the Yardbirds find themselves in hot water with both the furious Colonel and his even more furious wife.

Two Army goldbricks, Private Harry Shurk and Pete Goofus, are determined to avoid every duty roster they can find, but their elaborate schemes to stay off Sergeant Buck Strypes's radar keep backfiring in increasingly ridiculous ways. When the sergeant finally corners them with what might be good news, their frantic attempts to escape ensure they end up exactly where they didn't want to be.

When Windy Bragg and Whitey Hicks are assigned to operate a tank during a training exercise, their bumbling inexperience turns a routine military maneuver into absolute chaos—though their unpredictable antics may just be crazy enough to succeed where actual tactics would fail. Sergeant Gruff watches in horror as these two "impossible charges" barrel through the exercise with more luck than skill, leaving both friend and foe scrambling to make sense of their bewildering approach to warfare.