The Beano #1644

Grandpa spots his neighbour’s spinning top and can’t help but wish he had one—so his dad digs up an old one from the attic. Before he can even enjoy it, Grandpa loses the top, but a quick fix comes from an unexpected source.

Minnie The Minx is all giddy over her poster of the legendary gymnast Olda Sherbet, convinced she’s got the moves to match. She tries to impress her readers with a dramatic routine—much to her dad’s growing frustration—until a surprising twist reveals just who might be the real gymnastic star in the family.

Lord Snooty and his gang pile into Aunt Mat’s car, only to send it crashing under their combined weight—prompting Lord Snooty to suggest a more "primitive" mode of transport, until Aunt Mat steps in with a surprisingly practical alternative.

When Head worries the children are getting unfit, he enlists Teacher and gymnastics champion Stanley Twitchivitch to whip them into shape — but even the most enthusiastic drills can't keep up with the chaos of Danny, Wilfrid, Plug, Smiffy, Fatty, Spotty, Sidney, Toots, 'Erbert, Cuthbert Cringeworthy, and the new boy James 'Jim' Nastics. By the end, it's clear the real problem isn't just lack of fitness — it's something much harder to train for.

Billy Whizz’s dad stares at his bumpy lawn, then hears the thuds and bangs of Billy dancing to a record inside. With a sudden idea, he sets out to fix both the lawn and the noise—without spoiling the fun.

Roger The Dodger’s trying to skip chores with a clever ruse involving Jim Brown, the school’s star player, but even his usual tricks might not save him when Mr Kerr’s watching — and twelve unnamed pupils are there to witness every move.

"Baby-Face" Finlayson stumbles upon a town crier’s proclamation offering a reward for his capture—only to realize the joke’s on him when he tries to silence the man, accidentally turning the crier into a very different kind of public announcer. Meanwhile, an unnamed lady’s milk pail and an Ice Cream Parlour worker/owner are caught in the chaos of Vulture Gulch’s most absurd day yet.

Whiskers stays up all night guarding Porky’s favourite cakes, but the Nibblers—Chiseller, Sniffler, Scritch, Scratch, His Nibs, Gordonzola, Cheddar George, and Enor Mouse—are determined to get their paws on them. With a mix of tricks, scares, and sheer stubbornness, they’re testing just how long Whiskers can stay awake. Do they have a ghost of a chance?

Dennis The Menace, bored while his mum prepares for the Ladies' Circle, convinces her to let him make one sandwich—though his idea of "one" and hers couldn’t be more different. With Gnasher watching closely, chaos is inevitable when the boy’s version of a snack clashes spectacularly with his mum’s expectations.