Beadle's Half Dime Library Vol. XL, No. 1020 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Barney Blake, the Boy Privateer. cause I thought yer Honor tobacco. Yer see—” ‘*Silence! Lead him to the plank and shave him!” roared the implacable sea-god, and we led himaway. . A great tank of water was situated right in front of the throne, and between the fore and mainmasts of the ship. light plank of pine. And the tank, we might as well mention now as any time, was filled with salt water. Upon this plank we seated our victim, and began to lather him with soft-soap, without paying aay regard to his sight. He gavea wild shriek as the suds went into his eyes (but he had lad fair warning from me to keep them shut). Taen, as my comrade held him fast, I proceeded to scrape bis face with the piece of an iron hoop, which | had picked up and somewhat sharpened -for tke purpose. [ laid it on as lightly as I could, hut, nevertheless, the performance was so ridicutously painful that tke poor fellow yelled again with agony. For the sharp but gritty edge of the saw-like razor would grab the few hairs he had on the chin,and would pull outrage usly,. At length the barbering performance was over, end poor Dicky thought that he had got through the whole passage of the equinox, But, no sooner was he shaved than the plank was suddenly jerked from under him, and down he went into the cold sea-water, where he floun- dered about fully a dozen seconds before he could scramble out. -He was next submitted to the tumbling ap- paratus. This was nothing more nor less than the mizzen-roynl in the hands of a dozen men or so, two or three grabbing each corner, while the victim was tossed into the middle, where he -was flung up and down, now and then letting him duwn far enough to give him a good bump against the deck. We finished him up with a keel-haul, There are two ways of doing this. The old way consisted in making the victim fast by either ankle, and then flinging him over- board at the bow, dragging him under the keel, with arope on either side of the ship. But this was never resorted to as pastime; in fact, it was considered the worst of nautical punish- ments. Victims frequently died under its inflic- tion. If anything of that kind had been tried under the Queer Fish, the sufferer would most certainly have had a hard time ofit. For our bottom was completely covered with that small variety of the carbuncle shell-fish, known to seamen as ship-lice, and any one being dragged poe them, would have been terribly lacer- ated, But, of course, nothing of that kind was to be attempted upon such amerry and good-humored craft as the Queer Fish. Our keel-hauling sim- ply consisted in making the victim fast by the ankles, and shooting him out far behind in the wake of the vessel (always making sure that there were no sharks in the neighborhood), and whisking him back again before he could well Know how wet he was, Poor Dicky Drake had stood everything else like a man, but bis soul instinctively revolted from keel-hauling—though, to tell the truth, it was by far the easiest punishment inflicted in our category. We made fast to his ankles, and swung him over the side,in spite of his entreaties. The ship was going at a spanking pace—a good eight knots an hour—as Dicky touched the water at her foaming wake, We let out lively on the lines, and away he sped, a good fifteen fathoms, trom the ship. He squealed like a stuck pig as he hit the water, but we brought him back so quick that his head swam. We then led him up to the throne of Father Neptune, who stretched his withered hands over his head, blessed him, and proclaimed him a true son of the sea—made so by his last bap- tism therein, The victim was then permitted *o dress himself, was given a rousing glass of Zrog, andina few moments felt as merry as a king, quite anxious to laugh at the next victim. They followed, one after another, amid roars of laughter. Most of them were old tars, who took the thing as an excellent joke, and we therefore made little out of them. At last there were only two victims left. These were Teddy Tight and Mr. Adolphus de Courcy. The latter was reserved as the last, vecansea we expected to have the most fun out of him; end the former was kept as next to last, becanse we half suspected that his eager antici- pation of the fun that was in store for him was all sammon, and merely put on to cloak his ter- ror. In fact. it was the testimony of each of his predecessors ia the ‘‘ ceremonies ” that, as his might be averse to | Over'this was drawn a turn came nearer and nearer, Teddy’s courage began to sink until, at last, it was at zero. When we led the doughty little Irishman on oe? he was as pale as a ghost, and shook like a eaf. On being led before the august presence of Fatber Neptune, however, his native blarney began to overflow, and excuse after excuse be- gan to be poured out in a profusion which BE have been limitless, if we had not cut him short. ‘*Och, yer Honor!” he cried, ‘‘ w’at has yer Honor got ag’in’sich a poor little spalpeen as meself? Sure, an’ hay’n’t I sarved yer Honor well, by land and by say? Let me off this time, and Ill sarve ye better than iver, Och, yer Honor, ye must surely remimber me father. He was owld Barney Tight of Killarney. The way he would lick any one who would dare to say onything ag’in’ yer Honor’s character was a caution to the woorld. An’ there was me uncle. Och, an’he was an ixcellent mon, yer Honor. I see’d him onec’t knock the top-lights out of a murtheriu’ spalpeen who was afther in- jurin’ yer Honor’s reputation. An’ there was my sister—God rest her sowl!—-you should ’a’ see’d her when she—” ** Silence!” was the gruff reply of the ruler of the waves; and Tedsy, though he kicked and squirmed like an ugly worm on a bodkin, was put through the necessary course of sprouts in short order, but with a will. Then Mr. Adolphus de Courey was led up amid peals of laughter. He had had the phi- losophy to strip himself, with the exception of a pair of old pantaloons, and now eppeared on deck with an air of offended dignity, which made him ridictlous in his present attire. ‘*Whatis yer crime?” was the gruff question of Neptune. Adolphus eyed the venerable figure of the ruler of the waves with a lofty air of scorn, and did not, at first, deign to reply. ‘*'Yer crime?” bawled the king, seizing his scepter with a menacing gesture. ‘*May hit please your hill-favored *Ighness, has I hain’t got hanything of that kind habout my person, I hain’t hable to produce hany.” ‘*'You’r’ accused of striving to usurp our throne,” exclaimed old Neptune, wrathfully. ‘¢ Wot!” exclaimed the astonished cockney, with his breath almost taken away by the novel- ty of the charge, ‘‘I—I husurp your throne! My dear hold fellow, I vouldn’t ’ave it for ha gift. ‘*Ha! do yer insult us? Executioners, do your duty !” roared the indignant monarch. ‘* Now, ’old hon, hexecutioners,” argued the cockney, remonstrating, ‘‘let me warn you-not to go han’ do hanvthing so wery rash. Do you ’appen to know ’oo ] ham?” ‘Yes, yowre ths grandson of—the Lord Knows Who,” said Father Nep. ‘** Bless me, now, and ’ow did you know that my grandfather was a lord? That’s wery as- tonishing, 1 declare. Wery well, you see I’m considerably different from halmost all of you fellows, hinhasmuch has I was brought hup a gentleman, hand was born hin dear hold Hing- land, the Hempress of the Hocean. Now, cer- tainly, your Hexcellency won’t be so unfortu- nately rash has to hoffend the Hempress of the Hocean by hany hundue hinterference with one of her favorite sons, while hin the pursuit of ’is peaceful hazvocation.” The Britisher argued this in his most solemn and impressive style, and looked, when he was through, as if he thought the argument to be conclusive, But heroused a new enemy in an unexpected quarter. Scarcely had he finished his harangue, before Amphitrite (née Biuefish) sprung from her throne, with a wild yell, and caught him by the hair. ‘* Who dares to style any other than me the hempress of the briny deep?” she shrieked in his ear. ‘‘Ha! villain, thou art convicted out of thine own mouth. Usurper, thy time’s come! Tritons, do your work!” ‘*But I protest! I demand ha hinstantaneous release has a Hinglishman on the’igh seas! Cap- tain, I happeaito you! This houtrage to Hing- etece will be hawfully havenged! I protest Bit he was now on the plank, undergoing the operation of shaving, and his open mouth received the great brush of lather full between his teeth, almost choking him, and completely gagging him for some timeto come. Then the plank was whipped from under him, and down he went with an awful splash into the tub, pro- testing, amid the shouts of langbter, something about his being ‘‘a chosen son of hold Hing- land.” We tossed him in the sail with tho jolliesy y e- hemence, but, when the ropes were being ad- justed for the final part of the programme, that of keel-hauling, he begged off piteously. ‘* Captain, I shall drown, I know [I shall,” he pleaded, turning with animploring gesture, to Captain Joker, who was enjoying the thing amazingly. ‘‘Captain, I ’ave a natural han- tipathy to hanything but ’ot water. A bath hin my present state of perspiration will be the cer- tain death of me, I know hit will. Now, please, captain, for the sake of hour hold and hardent friendship—for the sake—”’ But the captain was implacable, and the cockney, though struggling violently, wos swung over the trffrail. He was truly in « melting mood. The day was hot enough, a3 you may judge by the latitude we were in, art the course of sprouts through which we he:! been rushing our English victim, had made the sweat come from every pore of his skin. The revulsion, therefore, as his body hit the coolness of the rushing ocean stream, must have been very great. As it was, he gave an awful scream, and floundered like a stranced shark, Away be went, far out from the stern in the swift wake of the gliding ship. _When we drew him in and landed him safe and sound, once more on deck, he was so overjoyed at hisrescue, that he pretended to have hiked his bath. ‘* Do you know, I henjoyed hit himmensely.” he exclaimed. And when he was dressed, with a good, sti glass of grog in bis hold, he really wasone of the merriest men on the ship, Well, that ended the ceremonies, but the holi- day was not overbyanymeans. We had anex- traordinary dinner, and, after the sun had set aud the bright tropic moon had risen, Snolly- goster brought cut his violin, and we had a glorious dance. Grog was freely distributed, and I am afraid there were a good many heacs that felt abnormally large next morning. CHAPTER VII. FUN ON SHORE. In the latter part of the month cf July, we succeeded in meking a safe entrance into tke neutral port of Rio de Janeiro, after having captured several more valuable prizes, and bringing two or three along with us. There wasa British man-o’-war, the Atalanta, in this port, when we entered. Shecould have blown us out of water by one broadside of her great guns, but, nevertheless, she respected the neu- trality of the port, and did not dare to molest us. It may seem strange, from the manner in which Adolphus de Courcy had been treated on board the Queer Fish, that he should regret leaving us. But it is, nevertheless, a fact. When his freedom was given him, he assembled the entire crew around him, thanked them for the jolly time the y had afforded him, and shook the captain warmly by the hand. He was really an excellent-hearted fellow, and we gave him thres hearty cheers as he went over the ship’s side to the boat which was to convey him and his luggage to the British ship before-men-~ tidned. And his sincerity wasnot of a transient kind; for we afterward learned that he spoke well of us to the officers of the Atalanta. Going on shore, after a long voyage, is the sailor’s paradise. I reckon some of those old, streets of Rio were glad enough when we dis- appeared ; for a noisier, wilder, more devil-may-~ care set of tars never raised a rumpus in a sea-~ port town than did wein Rio. Wewere allow-~ ed to goon shorein squads alternately; and as many of the British sailors were also, more or less, in the town, we had several collisions cf a very serious character, though the disturbances were usually speedily quelled by the authori. ties. The first disturbance of this kind that I wes in happened a few days after we entered the port. A large squad of us—perhaps twenty— had gone on shore, but Tony Trybrace and I had somehow got separated from our compan- ions. We were both of us somewhat in liquor, and had a hankering—a usual one under the circumstances—to have something more to drink, So we entered a queer sort of Spanish gin-shopr, and, not understanding the lingo very fluently, proceeded to help ourselves—of course with the intention of paying our way. In the course of this proceeding, Tony was rudely thrust back from the counter by the pro-~ prietor of the place, a wiry Brazilian, and, at the same time, admonished by a torrent of in-~ vectives in the unknown lingo. It is poor policy to treat a drunken men rude- ly, unless you are a policeman. A sailcr, es- we niCOMEOOOKS. COM