Beadle's Half Dime Library, No. 9 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 —— — -<... ee es a not so many languages spoken in this vile world: but then, have I not been in the Moon? and trust me, whenever I write a Treatise upon Education, I shall delineate methods of inculeating whole dozens of languages at once, French, Spanish, Greek, Hebrew, Cherokee, etc., in such a style as will shame all the pedagogues existing. Having passed a whole night without being able to sleep for the vivid imagination of African discoveries, I hastened to the levee of my illustrious friend, Hi- laro Frosticos; and having mentioned my intention with all the vigor of fancy, he gravely considered my ' | words, and after some awful meditations, thus he | spoke: ‘* Olough, ma genesat, istum fudlunah, cum dera kargos belgarasah eseum balgo bartigos trianqgulissi- mus !—However,”’ added he, ** it behoveth thee to con- sider and ponder well upon the perils and the multi- tudinous dangers in the way of that wight who thus | advanceth in all the perambulation of adventures. And verily, most valiant Sire and Baron, I hope thou wilt demean thyself with all that laudable gravity and precaution which, as is related in the three hun- dred and forty-seventh chapter of the Prophilactics, is of more consideration than all the merits in this py open globe. Yes, most truly do I advise thee unto thy good, and speak unto thee, most valiant Munchausen, with the greatest esteem, and wish thee to succeed in thy voyage; for it is said, that in the interior realms of Africa there are tribes that can see but just three inches and a half beyond the extrem- ity of their noses; and verily thou shouldst moderate thyself, even sure and slow; they stumble who walk fast. But we shall bring you unto the Lady Pragran- tia, and have her opinion of the matter.’’ He then took from his pocket a cap of dignity, such as de- scribed in the most honorable and antique heraldry, and placing it upon my head, addressed me thus: | ‘*As thou seemest again to revive the spirit of an- cient adventure, permit me to place upon thy head this favor, as a mark of the esteem in which I hold thy valorous disposition.” e Lady Fragrantia, my dear friends, was one of the most divine creatures ip all Great Britain, and | was desperately in love with me. most noble Hilaro Frosticos advanced. He pointed to the cap of dignity which he had placed upon my head, ‘I do declare, Hilaro,”’ said the lovely Fra- 7 ‘tis pretty, ‘tis interesting; Llove you, and like you, my dear Baron,” said she, putting on an- other plume—‘‘ this gives it an air more delicate and more fantastical. I do thus, my dear Munchausen, as your friend—yet you can reject or accept my present just as you please; but I like the fancy; ‘tis a god one, and I mean to improve it; and against whatever enemies you go, I shall have the sweet sat- ery r you bear my favor on your eal !”’ I snatched it with trepidation, and cefull dropping on my knees, I three times kissed it with all the rapture of romantic love. ‘‘Iswear,’’ cried I ‘by thy bright eyes, and by the lovely whiteness of thine arm, that no savage, tyrant, or enemy, upon the face of the earth shall despoil me of this favor, while one drop of the blood of the Munchausens doth cir- culate inmy veins! Iwill bear it triumphant through the realms of Africa, whither I now intend my course, = make it respected, even in the court of Prester obn.”’ ‘*T admire your spirit,’ replied she, ‘“‘ and shall use my. utmost interest at court to have you dispatched th every pomp, and as soon as possible; but here comes a most brilliant company indeed, Lady Caro- lina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs, Lord Spigot, and Lady Faucet, and the Countess of Belleair.” ter the ceremonies of introduction to this com- — were over, we proceeded to consult upon the usiness; and as the cause met with general a plause, it was immediately determined that I should proceed without delay, as soon as I obtained the sov- ereign ane Sa ‘*T am convinced,” said Lord Spigot, “that if there be anything y unknown and worthy of our most ardent curiosity, it must be in the immense regions of Africa; that country which seems to be the oldest on the globe, and yet with the greater part of which we are almost utterly un- acquainted. What prodigious wealth of gold and diamonds must not lie concealed in those torrid re- gions, when the very rivers on the coast pour forth continual imens of golden sand! *Tis my opinion therefore, that the Baron deserves the applause of all Europe for his spirit, and merits the most powerful assistance of the sovereign.” So cee an Sppronasion, you may be sure, was delightful to my heart: and with every confi- dence and joy, I suffered them to take me to court that instant. After the usual ceremonies of intro- duction, suffice it to say, that I met with every honor and applause that my most sanguine expectations could demand. I always a taste for the fashion- able je née sais quot of the most elegant society; and in the presence of all the sovereigns of Europe, I ever found myself quite at home, and experienced from the whole court the most flattering esteem and admiration. I remember, one particular day, the fate of the unfortunate Marquis de Bellecourt. The Countess of Rassinda, who accompanied him, looked most divinely. ‘* Yes, I am confident,” said the Mar- quis de Bellecourt to me, ‘‘ that I have acted accord- ing to the strictest sentiments of justice, and of loy- alty to my sovereign. What stronger breastpla than a heart untainted? and though I did not receive a word nor a look, yet I cannot think—no, it were impossible—to be represented. Conscious of my own integrity, I will try again—I will go boldly up.” The Marquis de Bellecourt saw the opportunit ; he advanced three paces, put his hand on his breast and bowed. “Permit me,”’ said he, ‘‘ with the most rofound respect,,to—’ His tongue faltered—he ould scarcely believe his sight; for at that moment isfaction to remem L ( She was drawing | my portrait upon a piece of white satin, when the | ac SSS Beadle’s Half-Dime Library. the whole company were moving out of the room. He found himself almost alone, deserted by every one. ‘* What!” said he, ‘‘and did he turn upon his heel with the most marked contempt? Would he not speak to me? Would he not even hear me utter a wordin my defense?’ His heart died within him —not even a look, a smile for any one. ‘“ My friends! Dothey not know me? Dothey not see me? Alas! they fear to catch the contagion of my— Then,” said he, ‘‘adieu!—’tis more than I can bear —TI shall go to my country seat, and never, never will return.—Adieu, fond court, adieu!”’ The venerable Marquis de Bellecourt stopped for a moment ere he entered. his carriage. hrice he looked back, and thrice he wiped the starting tear from his eye—‘‘ Yes,” said he, ‘‘for once at least, Truth shall be found—in the bottom of a well!”’ Peace to thy ghost, most noble marquis—a king of kings shall pity thee; and thousands whoare yet un- born shall owe their happiness to thee, and have cause to bless thee; thousands, perhaps, that shall never even know thy name—but Munchausen’s self shall celebrate thy glory!’’ CHAPTER XXIII, PREPARATION FOR THE BARON’S EXPEDITION INTO AFRI- CA—DESCRIPTION OF HIS CHARIOT; THE BEAUTIES OF ITS INTERIOR DECORATIONS; THE ANIMALS THAT DREW IT; AND THE MECHANISM OF THE WHEELS, EVERYTHING being concluded, and having received my instructions for the voyage, I was conducted by the illustrious Hilaro Frosticos, the Lady Fragrantia, and a pe ter: crowd of nobility, and placed sitting upon the summit of the whale’s bones at that palace; and having remained in this situation for three days and three nights, as a trial ordeal, and a specimen of my perseverance and resolution, the third hour after midnight they seated me in the chariot of Queen Mab. It wasof a prodigious dimension, large enough to contain more stowage than the tun of Heidelberg, and globular liko a hazel-nut; in fact it seemed to be really a hazel-nut grown to a most extravagant di- mension, and that a great worm of fat gaa. ener 5 enormity had bored a hole in the shell. Through this same entrance I was ushered. It was as large as a coach-door, and I took my seat in the center, a kind of chair self-balanced without touching any- thing, like the fancied tomb of Mahomet. The whole interior surface of the nutshell appeared a luminous representation of all the stars of heaven, the fixed stars, the ee ge and acomet. The stars were as large as those worn by our first nobility! and the comet, excessively brilliant, seemed asif you had as- sembled all the eyes of tho beautiful girls in the king- dom, and combined them, like a peacock’s HM preet a - ed tail to it, diminishing gradually to a point. This beautiful constellation seemed very sportive and de- lightful. It was much in the form of a tadpole! and thout ceasing, went full of playful giddiness up and down all over the heaven on the concave surface of a nutshell. One time it would be at that part of the heavens under my feet, and in the next minute would be over my head, It was never at rest, but forever going east, west, north, or south; and paid no more respect to the different worlds than if they were so many lanterns without reflectors. Some of them he would dash and push out of their places; others he would burn up and consume to ashes; an others n he would split into fritters, and their pa re s would instantly take a globular form, like spilled quicksilver, and become satellites to whatever other worlds they should hap to meet with in their career. In short, the whole seemed an epitome of the creation, past, present, and future—and all that passes among the stars during one thousand years, was here generally performed in as many seconds. I surveyed all the beauties of the chariot with won- der and delight. ‘‘Certainly,” cried I, “this is heaven in miniature!’’ In short, I took the reins in my hand. But before I proceed on my adventures, I shall mention the rest of my attendant furniture. The chariot was drawn by a team of nine bulls har- nessed to it, three after three. In the first rank was & most tremendous bull, named John Mowmowsky; the rest were called Jacks in general, but not digni- fied by any particular denomination. They were all shod for the journey, not indeed like horses, with iron, or as bullocks commonly are, to drag on a cart; but were shod with men’s skulls. Each of their feet was, hoof and all, crammed into a man’s head, cut off for the purpose, and fastened therein with a kind of cement or paste, so that the skull seemed to be a part of the foot and hoof of the animal. With these skull-shoes the creatures could perform astonishing journeys, and slide — the water, or upon the ocean, with great velocity. The harnesses were fas- tened with golden buckles, and decked with studs in a superb style; and the creatures were ridden by nine postillions, crickets of a great sizé, as la as monkeys, who sat squat upon the heads of the bulls, and were continually chirping at a most infernal rate, loud in proportion to their bodies. The wheels of the chariot consisted of upward of ten thousand springs, formed so as to give the greater impetuosity to the vehicle, and were more complex than a dozen clocks like that of Strasburgh. The ex- ternal of the chariot was adorned with banners, and a superb festoon of the laurel that formerly shaded me on horseback. And now, having given youavery concise description of my machine for traveling into Africa, which you must allow to be far superior to the ap aratus of Monsieur Vaillant, I shall proceed to re ate the exploits of my voyage, into the form of a comet—that is,a globe, an CHAPTER XXIV. THE BARON PROCEEDS ON HIS VOYAGE—CONVEYS A SQUADRON TO GIBRALTAR—DECLINES THE ACCEPT- ANCE OF THE ISLAND OF CANDIA—HIS CHARIOT DAM- AGED BY POMPEY’S PILLAR AND CLEOPATRA’S NEEDLE —THE BARON OUTDOES ALEXANDER—PREAKS HIS CHARIOT, AND SPLITS A GREAT ROCK AT THE CAPE OF GOOD HOPE. | TAKING the reins in my hand, while the music gave a general salute, I cracked my whip—away they went—and in three hours I found myself just be- tween the Isle of Wight and the main land of Eng- land! Here I remained four days, until I had re- ceived part of my accompaniment, which I was ordered to take under my convoy. “Twas asquadron of men-of-war that had been a long time prepared for the Baltic, but which were now destined for the Mediterranean. By the assistance of large hooks and eyes, exactly such as are worn in our hats, but of a greater size, some hundred weight each, the men-of-war hooked themselves on to the wheels of the vehicle; and, in fact, nothing could be more sim- ple or convenient; because they could be hooked or unhooked in an instant with the utmost facility. In short, having given a general discharge of their ar- tillery, and three cheers, I cracked my whip; away we went, helter skelter, and in six jiffies I found my- self and all my retinue safe and in good spirits, just at the rock of Gibraltar. Here i unhooked my squadron, and having taken an affectionate leave of the officers, I suffered them to proceed in their ordi- nary manner to the place of their destination. The whole garrison were ighly delighted with the nov- elty of my vehicle; and at the pressing solicitations of the governor and officers, I went ashore, and took a view of that barren old rock, about which more powder has been fired away than would purchase twice as much fertile ground in any part of the world! Mounting my chariot, I took the reins, and again made forward, in mad career, down the Medi- terranean, to the isle of Candia. Here I received dispatches from the Sublime Porte, entreating me to assist in the war against Russia, with a reward of the whole island of Candia for my alliance. At first I hesitated, thinking that the island of Candia would be a most valuable acquisition to the sovereign who at that time employed me, and that the most deli- cious wines, sugar, etc., in abundance would flourish on the island; Sa when I considered the trade of the East India Company, which would most probably suffer by the intercourse with Persia through the Mediterranean, I at once rejected the proposal, and had afterward the thanks of the Honorable the House of Commons for my propriety and political discernment, Having been properly refreshed at Candia, I again ase ge and in a short time arrived in the land of ypt. The land of this country, at least that part of it near the sea, is very low, so that I came upon it ere was aware; and the Pillar of Pompey got en- tangled in the various wheels of the machine, and damaged the whole considerably. Still I drove on ye thick and thin, till passing over that great obelisk, the Needle of Cleopatra, the work got en- tangled again, and jolted at a miserable rate over the mud and swampy ground of all thatcountry; yet my poor bulls trotted on with astonishing labor across the Isthmus of Suez into the Red Sea, and left a track, an obscure channel, which has since been taken by De Tott for the remains of a canal cut b some of the Ptolemies from the Red Sea to the Med- iterranean; but, as you perceive, was in reality no ee than the track of my chariot, the car of Queen ab. As the artists at present in that country are noth- ing wonderful, though the ancient Egyptians, ‘tis d, were most astonishing t«llows, I could not pro- cure any new coach-springs, 4: have a possibility of setting my machine to rights in the kingdom of Egypt; and as I could not Prune to attempt an- other journey overland, and the great mountains of marble beyond the source of the Nile, I thought it most eligible to make the best "ey I could, by sea, to the Cape of Good Hope, where I suppose I should get somo Dutch smiths and carpenters, or perhaps some Fnglish artists; and my vehicle being properly repaircd, it was my intention thence to proceed over- land, through the heart of Africa. The surface of the water, I well Inew, afforded less resistance to the wheels of the machine—it passed along the waves like the chariot of Neptune; aud in short, having got- ten upon the Red Sea, we scudded away to admira- tion, through the pass of Babelmandel to .the great Western coast of Africa, where Alexander had not the courage to venture. ; And really, my friends, if Alexander had ven- tured toward the Cape of Good Hope, he most pro- bably would have never returned. It is difficult to determine whether there were then any inhabitants in the more southern parts of Africa or not; yet, at any rate, this conqueror of the world would have made but a nonsensical adventure; his miserable ships, not contrived for a long voyage, would have become leaky, and foundered, before e could have doubled the Cape, and left his majesty fairly beyond the limits of the then known world. Yet it would have been an august exit for an Alexander, after having subdued Persia and India, to go wandering the Lord knows where—to Jupiter Ammon, perhaps; or on & voyage to the moon, as an Indian chief once said to Captain Cook. But, for my part, I was far more successful than Alexander—I drove on with the most Se the praia. ity; and thinking to halt on shore at the Cape, I unfortunately drove too _ close, and shattered the right side wheel of my vehicle 2 OE the rock, now called the Table Mountain. The machine went against it with such impetuosity, as completely shiv- ered the rock in a horizontal direction; so that the summit of the mountain, in the form of a semi- GOMmIGRoo “S (E(@)