Beadle's Half Dime Library No. 869 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pall that chin music the vittals is gittin’ cold - andi didn’t come down here to lunch on cold a aif vittals.” 7 Ae a The eyes of the other boys were sparkling as Se if they quite agreed with this sentiment, and > Yar Ned, seeing that they had been restrained long me enough, gave the signal for the waiters to be- n. Dick had ordered ‘‘a high-up old feed, just like the bloods git,” and the banquet began with plates of soup—very thin soup—placed be- fore the guests, : The gamins sat looking down at their plates with bewilderment, the eyes of some of them as large as saucers, while others, thinking they were being made fun of, grew red with anger. ‘* What yer takin’ us fur?’ cried Dick. ‘* We didn’t come here ter go a-swimmin’. Not in such puddle water as that, anyhow.” ** T reckon this is a sell, fellers,” cried another. 5 a **Them flunkies think we don’t know nothin HH, a better’n dish-water.” | ‘*That’s the soup. We always begin with soup,” explained one of the waiters, while the others stuifed their napkins into their mouths to prevent the threatened explosion. **Soup!” cried Dick, turning up his nose. ‘* Whatcher comin’ over us? I guess that’s the kind o’ soup as a feller kin wade a mile through *thout findin’ a bean. I’ve hearn tell o’ that sort, 7 is a ~s or Sry ame —-- o 7 @ a! “ — aA i? i ‘““Dry up, and dig in. Don’t expose your Jp, | ignorance,” exclaimed Ned, with authority. a) * [c's better than it looks,” 9 As he set the example, the guests followed, “oe though evidently with no great relish, some ne using spoons, others drinking from the edge of a . the plates. 7 ‘* Now take them slops away and fetch us aut somethin’ to eat,” ordered Ned. ‘‘ We didn’t / 5 come here to drink our dinner,” #1 ‘Bully for you,” cried one of the boys. ¥¢- ** Talk bout soup! Sich stuff as that! Fotch along somethin’ solid and we’ll show you what boys’ teeth was made fur,” In a trice the waiters whipped away the half- emptied plates, and with little regard for the due succession of courses, placed before their unsophisticated guests fish, flesh, and fow] in mingled profusion, , “Help yerself, fellers. Dig in lively; I’m a- goin’ ter,” yelled one, , ‘*‘No yer ain’t, or you'll go a-sailin’ out that there door,” cried Dick. ‘‘That’s what these hefe flunkies is paid fur, and we're not goin’ ter wasteour money. If yer want anything jist ax them perlitely.” , What to ask for, however, was beyond the boys’ power to decide, the banquet before them being as strange to their eyes asan undiscovered country. ‘(ll take some deviled crabs and fricass2ed terrapins for mine,” said Ned, ‘‘ and a set-out 0’ lobster-salad, We’ve paid for the best, boys, and don’t let’s be put off with no every-day hash. Tbis cue was quickly taken, and there was an uproarious call for the dishes ordered by Ned, with such other outlandish viands as occurred to the boys’ sense of humor. ** Motch me some Db’iled cobble-stones, and pickled blue-birds’ wings,” cried one, “ll take pigs’ toe-nails and oysters,” yelled another. | The waiters looked at each other as a succes- , sion of such orders rolled round thetable, A wink from the leading waiter cut the knot of the difficulty. Taking a cut from the first dish that presented itself he offered it to Ned. ‘*Here’s your fricasseed terrapin/sir, What else did you order, sir?” The other waiters took the cue, and served the remaining boys in the same haphazard fash- ion, very well satisfied that none of them would know what they were eating, ‘Now, fellers, dig’s the word,” cried Dick. “Don’t make hogs o’ yerselves, but jist put yerselyes outside this grub as lively as you kin do it perlite.” This was an order the hungry young Arabs were quite ready to obey, and for the next ten ue oe minutes the rattle of knife and fork and the 1 aes, clatter of crockery filled the room with music, NS Ae while the waiters were kept busy satisfying the ‘wants of their unceremonious guests, Some of the latter were inclined to discard pc: the civilized incumbrances of knife, fork, and ae spoon, and go back to the primitive implements of fingers and teeth; buf these Dick brought up BN with a round turn, giving them plainly to un- read derstand that he would permit no lapses into barbarism, ** Ses here, fellers: next thing we'll have these here servanis’—there was an expression of - A, * ae ~ ‘. a le a » : haughty superiority in Dick’s use of this word— ‘‘these here servants sayin’ as we’re gutter- snipes, as ain’t had no fotchin’ up. Now, fur the honor o’ the ‘ shine-’em-ups,’ don't you go fur to make hogs 0’ yerselves. An’I’ll punch the snout o’ the fu’st feller as does, that’s more,” ‘*Good for you, Dick,” cried Ned. ‘* Keep your end o’the table straight, and Ill keep mine,” Abundant as had been the provision made, the boys’ appetites had not been accurately gauged, and the dishes needed to be filled up again be- fore they had their fill of the solids and were ready for the dessert. W hat they had been eating the most of them knew no more than the man in the moon, but appetite covered ali deficiencies in knowledge, and no more thoroughly enjoyed feast had ever been served in that apartment. ‘* Whatcher got next?” queried Dick, on the removal of the plates, ‘** Plum-puddin’, cabinet-puddin’, suet-puddin’, apple-dumplin’,” began one of the waiters, in a sing-song tone, ‘‘mince-pie, apple-pie, cherry- pie, egg-custard, cocoanut-custard, lemon—” ‘Dry up,” cried Ned, authoritatively. *‘ Fetch them along. Reckon that’s enough. We don’t want toeat a whole ’pothecary’s shop, or a Camp- meetin’ set-out.”’ ‘** Fotch me’bout three kinds o’ puddin’ and four kinds o’ pie,” cried Dick, ‘I ain’t as hun- gry as 1 was, and a feller’s got ter haul short somewhere. Don’t want ter be a hog.” The pies and puddings looked, after five min- utes’ exercise, as if a famine bad struck the table. Much as the gamins bad devoured, their appetite for pastry seemed untouched, and the eyes of the waiters opened wide to see the havoc that was mae, Even the giver of the feast thought it best to calla halt at last. ‘* There’s more a-comin ’, boys; and if you keep on fillin’ up in that style you won’t have room for a fly’s wing.” ‘* More a-comin’?” cried one of the gaming, let- ting fall a huge cut of pie. ‘* Yes; ice-cream and cakes, aud extras.” ‘*Tce-cream!” yelled the gamin in ecstasy, ‘* Yer ain’t a-sayin’ it fur a dodge? ’Tain’t no sell now, is it?” ‘*Nary sell,” exclaimed Dick. ‘‘Jist you ser- vants pile out with this truck, and pile in with the next course. And lively, too, cause we’ve paid in advance,” In a trice the table was emptied and the ‘‘ ser- vants” had covered it again with pyramids of cream and dishes of cake, to the utter delight of the youngsters, whose indulgence in this Juxury hitherto had been confined to a five-cent feast from a street-vender. ‘* Why didn't yer tell us "bout thissooner, fore we laid in stock?” 5G ‘**Tce-cream don’t take up no room,” explained ed, One would have thought it took up an im- mense amount of room, by the staring eyes and distorted faces of some of the boys, who had be- gun to indulge too profusely in the frozen viand. ** It don’t choke nobody cept hogs,” said Dick, scornfully, ‘‘and hogs gughter be choked.” Taking warning from these few victims to greediness, the remaining boys ate their cream more moderately, But Ned’s suggestion that ice-cream took up no room seemed verified by the way in which the pyramids lowered and dis- appeared, But the powers of the young gourmands were at length exhausted, and when the active wait- ers removed the emptied dishes and replaced them with heaped-vp baskets of fruit and nuts, they could only open their eyesin astonishment and regret and look reproachfully at the givers of the feast, ‘Oranges! pine-apples! bananers!” cried one, ‘* Nuts!” ejaculated another.«) - *¢ Andnobody never told us,” said a third, ‘‘Oh, laws! is all them got ter be eat?” ‘“The’r paid fer,” explained Dick. ‘* Yer ain’t a-zoin’ ter let the landlord make nothin’ off yer, hey?” This suggestion roused some of the more am- bitious of the boys,and a few feeble attempts to devour the fruit were made; but it was of no use; the limit of their capacity had been reached, The waiters looked on with secret smiles, They had been astonished at the feats of the gamins, and this defeat was.a triumph to them, Ned observed this, and at onee determined that they should not have the laugh on the bootblacks, ** [t's paid fur, fellers, and it’s yourn,” he shouted. ‘If you ain't got no room in your in- Ned Norman, the Gamin Negotiator. Qe. £800 rr a —_ sides, you have in your pockets. Go in, boys; these flunkies are laughin’ at you.” ‘*Them servants a-laughin’at us! I’m ’ston- ished!” cried Dick, ‘“ Let’s make ’em laugh t’other side er the mouth.” He set the example by thrusting both hands into the fruit and rapidly filling his pockets, The other boys lost no time in following his ex- ample, and almost before one could count ten the fruits and nuts had disappeared from the vision of the astonished waiters and the pockets of the gamins were enormously distended, ‘‘ Where does the laugh come in now?’ de- manded Ned, turning with a wink to the wait- ers, “*“‘I s’pose we're ’bout through. Ain’t nothin’ more comin’, hey?” ‘Wine and cigars,” suggested one of the waiter§, with difficulty preserving his gravity. ‘¢ Nary wine and cigars,” said Ned, decidedly. ‘* There’s where the line’s got to be drawn. But Ll reckon we could go some lemonade,” This proposal was received with applause, and the waiters, who had been directed to supply all chat had been called for, were not long in filling this new order; nor were the boyslong inempty- ing the flowing bowls of the healthful beverage, ‘*Now,” cried Dick, ‘‘the fun’s over; biz is on. Shoulder boxes; ready; march!” and mar- shaled in military lines, the gamins followed their leaders, down the stairs and through the main saloon, where the guests, who had heard of what was going on, anxiously awaited their advent. 7 The proprietor walked up, as the head of the line reached the door, ‘* Well, young gentlemen, how do you feel af- ter your feast?” he asked. ‘* Weel?’ cried Dick, ‘‘ we feel full; full inside and outside, and you kin bet yer level head that’s a new feel fur most of us chaps. Steady; forward; march!” and the gamins proudly filed out of the saloon, amid a chorus of laughter from the guests. CHAPTER X, NED MAKES A NEW CONTRACT. Two days afterward Ned appeared at the store of Burton & Jones, He had been seeing New York under the guidance of Dick, and had managed to obtain some idea of the mysteries of the metropolis in that time, The report of the feast, toward which be had not permitted Dick to contribute a cent, bad made Ned the hero of the gamins, while the story of the splen- dors and wonders of that banquet, as told by the participants, proved a source of interest that was not soon likely to die out. The popularity of the two new-made friends was not diminished by the freedom with which they spent money on the inhabitants of Gamin- ville during these days, It might have been thought bysome a dangerous society in which to make a free exhibition of funds, but certainly nothing passed out of their pockets except throught heir own good will, ‘*Well, young man, I have heard of you,” said Mr, Burton to Ned on his appearance, ‘‘ In fact, you’re the talk of the town; the papers bave been giving the full details of the boot- blacks’ banquet.” ‘¢You don’t say so?’ cried Ned, delizhtedly. ‘Can't youcut it out and lel me haveit? I want to show it to Dick and the boys,” “Very well; but you look the worse for wear, What have you been doing?” | ‘¢ Been seein’ New York,” answered Ned. **T should judgeso, Had your pocket picked?” ‘*Nary time. Spent some; got the balance here,” slapping bis pocket. ‘No feller sin’t goin’ through me easy.” ‘If you are going to see any more of New York vou had best leave your money in safe hands; suggested Mr, Burton. *‘Tbat’s my ad- vice.” ‘*1’m done seein’ New York,” answered Ned decidedly. ‘* After sich a slap-up time as | had with old Grip I had to let down the bars a little, But I got to make a livin’, Mr, Burton, and that ain’t the way to makeit. Lain’t no fool, and I ain’t afeard o’ work, and I reckon him that hires me won't waste his wages,” ‘¢T should think not,” answered the merchant, looking with some admiration into the mtelli- gent and energetic face of the boyy **f lancy that when you take hold you won't let po easy.” ‘“* Jist ask old Grip how I done when he set me to pile bricks,” answered Ned, proudly. ‘' He was goin’ to tire me out, be said: I calevlate it’s him as got tired. Where’s he now, Mr. Burton? Had any more fan with bim since that high old time over yonder?’ He pointed with his thumb in the direction of the recent fracas, ‘‘ Heis done with me,! fancy. I hear that he has gone back to Philadelphia, But I am \ i, aot , : Y x Lael ho om