Beadle's Half Dime Library No. 852 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee eee ** You! lie, you mountebank!” ‘On, Ao; it is the truth; and to prove it, lend me your hat, and 1 will show that you are carry- ing around a worse lot of trash than that.” ‘* In my hat, eh? Why, you impostor, there is nothing in my hat, except my head; and I'll swear toit, Look for yourself and see!” And taking off his new silk tile, he banded it to the young man, saying: ‘¢ Whats your name?’ ** Magic Mose, or Moses Magic, whichever you choose.” ‘* Who is this friend of mine who invited you here?” ‘‘ The Honorable Peter Parrot.” Sage started back, as if thunderstruck, “ Why, confound your impudence, Pete Parrot is dead!” he cried. ‘* He was pretty lively when I saw him last. But, bold on} ere is something in your hat, What is it?” and reaching down into the hat, he drew forth a baby’s stocking! The crowd, that bad now gathered around, roared with laugbter, ‘** Now, that is a nice thing to be carrying in your hat,” observed Magic Mose, ‘‘ But, holy Jerusalem, what’s this? Where have you been *tending bar?’ And from the hat he produced tworlemonade-shakers, and threw them on the floor to prove that they were tin. Next he brought forth a nutmeg-grater, and then out came the photograph of a negre3s! The mine-owner was literally paralyzed with as- tonishment, What did it all mean? ‘‘This is infamous!” cried Sage. ‘* You are possessed of the devil’s own traps formounte- bankery and imposture.” ‘* Maybe so,” replied Magic Mose, smilingly ; but,for the love of Moses, my namesake, what are ou doing with this in your hat?” And from the at, be drew a half-pint whisky flask! Sage uttered a howl; this added insult to in- jury. ‘*Give me my hat!” he cried, quivering with anger, ‘* Don't be in a hurry,” urged Moses, ‘* May- be I will find something more. Why, bless me if it ain’t gold!” And he emptied out a pumber of ten-dollar gold pieces upon the ground! ‘* Here! the coins are mine,” cried Sage, the avarice of tbe man at once asserting itself, ** They came out of my hat!” ‘‘ Findings is keepings! If aman goes carry- ing a museum around in his hat he must pay a license, same as any other show,” and Magic Mose deftly transferred the coins to his own pocket, : The' crowd roared, while Sage made a rush at ‘the necromancer, grabbed the hat, and turning, strode away. But, he was gone for a few moments only, when he returned, accompanied by his three Mexican ‘ heelers,” ney were vicious-looking ‘‘ Greasers,” dark almost as negroes, and fully armed. ‘* That’s the man, Pedro!” cried Sage; ‘* put him out of the grounds!” The Mexicans made a rush for the man of magic; but, they did not carry out their instruc- tions, for a gigantic man headed them off, as- sisted by a pair of big revolvers, ** Back! you cussed Greasers, or I'll bore a hole through ye big enough to run a railroad train!” . It was Pete Parrot, and Poll was perched upon his shoulder! The Mexicans slunk back, amazed and afraid. Pete Parrot then turned to Sage, “Hello, Sammy! How you was! What kind ofa jamboree hev ye got heer rasa, bee any- how? Why, darn me ef ye don’t look big as life, and twice as natteral! I’m mighty glad to see .ye! And ye’r’ lookin’ prosperous, too, Hoss-stealin’ must have been good, down this way. ’Tain’t good fer acent,up North. Ropes are gettin’ too cheap up in Montana, and trees, too, are flourishing!” If the ghost of his grandfather had risen from the tomb, and confronted him, itis prob- able Samuel Sage would not have been more startled, He glared at Pete Parrot for a few seconds, in speechless amazement, ‘t You alive?” he at last ejaculated. ‘* Waal, yes, rather! Do I resemble a corpus, brother Sammy? It’s true [ was hung once for horse-stealin’, where et was you who stole the animile, but, after swingin’ awhile, I got tired of the rope, and set out in search of you, who was so kind as to take a pull at the rope that lynched me, I believe every brother should ‘look after the other one—don’t ye, Sammy?” Ng ee = ee pg bO way ne seo rem a ee ee Deadwood Dick, Jr., at Devil’s Gulch. 3 ee ee eS ae eee Ce tit—sS **{ don’t know you, sir!” **Oh! ye don’t?” 2 No, sir, and [ order you to leave my prem- ises | ‘* Waal, now, that’s cool! Maybe I’ve got a word or two to say about thut, eh, Poll?’ ** You bet!” echoed Poll. ‘*We don’t come to a weddin’, an’ go away without seein’ the circus, and gittin’ a slice of the cake?” ** Not much!” uttered Poll. ‘* No, sir-ee, Sammy! We are here to see the show, and stay awhile. My mouth is all puck- ered up for a chance ter kiss the bride, and my pard here, Magic Mose, is in the same fix. So hurry up the ceremonies; andif you've got any- thing to drink, fetch it out on a silver tray!” “ll give you something to drink that you won’t like!” replied Sage, venomously, ‘*Kt must be some new-fangled beverage, then,” replied Pete, ‘‘ for I allow Ive got out- side of everything that was ever brewed or distilled, since Noah entered the ark. That includes water!” “I will ask you once miore, to leave!” cried Sage. ‘If you still refuse, I will set my blood- hounds upon you!” Pete Parrot laughed; and Poll croaked ‘t Ha- ha- ba!” ‘Why, darn yer skin,” exclaimed Pete, ‘‘ ye don’t own sech an article, ITll bet ther ain’t a dorg in the United States, as would live with you, Sage, now more exasperated—and desperate, turned to the crowd, the most of whom were his own employees, ‘* Boys,” he said, “Tllraise your wages ten per centif you will fire these two loafers off of mf canoe his meant forty cents a day, for the majority of the men, and forty cents a day meant three glasses of *‘ liquid glory.” So the grand rush was made, CHAPTER III, A BLOODY AFFRAY. ‘*WHOOPEE!” yelled Pete Parrot, ‘‘ Hyer they cum, like a thousan’ o’ cats! But, advance cats.and give the countersign! Meow—Meow!” And with this Pete began to shoot, right and left greatly to the sy of the crowd, which quickly got out from the line of fire, The effect was electric. Every nan shot at lost an ear or was “‘ winged,” in some way and the air was soon filled With howls of pain and fear, while the assailants incontinently fled, fol- lowed by the entirecompany. Pete Parrot and Magic were masters of the situation, ‘*Oho! we've left our trade-mark!” exclaimed the burly ranger. ‘‘ Guess them galoots will know enough not to fool with a Montana simoom, again. What d’ye think about it Moses?” ‘*You are ’bout right,” replied Magic Mose, ‘* But, I reckon this camp will not be bealthy for us any longer, the whole camp will be down on us, after this introduction,” It was a singular fact that nota man, except the two Montana pards, was to be seen on that part of Sage’s grounds, at that moment, They had all taken refuge in the house or disappeared for repairs, Even the brass band “ tooters” had picked up their instruments and skipped. From all eppearances, there would be no wed- ding, on the lawn, In preparing for the festivities, Samuel Sage had established a free bar upon the lawn, for the use of his guests, This, also, was now de- serted, and Pete Parrot and Poll proceeded to sample the excellent liquor from the Sage cellar, ‘* |) hain’t hit ontersecha picnic, since Hannah died " Parrotaverred, ‘*‘ What d’ye think of it, Poll? ‘‘ Bully!” squeaked Poll, who, was gulping down her treat, like an old crone, ‘‘ Come and have a claret, Mose,” ‘Not much, I pay for what I drink,” replied Mose, ‘or Ido not partake. I’m no free-lunch tramp. ‘“‘T own this hyer ranch, and so give you a special invite, I do!” ‘‘ You oum the ranch?” echoed Magic Mose, ‘* Why do you say that?” “By right of having been robbed of more money, by my brother, than this place is worth, or ever will be!” the gaunt ranger re- plied, decisively. “Your brother?’ echoed Mose, in amazement, ‘““Yas, my brother, Ye didn’t know that that sucker who calls himself Sam Sage, is my brother?” ** How should I? You never told me you had a father, mother, sister or brother.” etn = pe ee ellie — - —_ ‘* Waal, now, that’s strange, I never had a sister that I know of, and [ won't take my affidavit that I ever had a father or mother, but Dll take my oath that I bad » brother, ten years ago, and likewise two bundred thousand dollars, aud when my brother disappeared, after leav- ing me hanging to the limb ofa tree, the two hundred thousand went with him,” ‘*‘ And was that man Samuel Sage?” ‘* The one who calls Limself Samuel Sage, but his real nameis Parrot, and he’sa brother to me and Poll, ain’t be Poll?” ‘* You bet!” Poll assured promptly. “What Poll don’t know about the pedigree of the Parrot family would fill a book,” added Pete, ‘‘This aire bird could compound a biography of the Parrot family, from the time of Chris Columbus, who brought over one of bis ancestor. But, come along.” ‘* Where to?” asked the young magician, ‘¢Tnter the house, of course! Ye don’t want to miss a chance of kissin’ the bride, and see the winister flop his wings and crow, do ye? Why, great bumpin’ hornets, that aire one of the fea- tures of the circus, ain’t it, Poll” ‘*' You bet!” echoed Poll, ‘* Polly wants cake! Polly wants candy !” ‘* Well, if you are anxious to venture into that house,” said Mose, ‘‘ and get your brains blown out, lam not, I may bave a use for mine, in the course of time, if I take care of them,” ‘* Waal, mebbe you are right, pard, but [’'m goin’ ter see that splicin’ match, or I’m goin’ ter bu’st! Great bumpin’ hornets! D'yetbink Pete Parrot kain’t see his own niece sent off? Waal, now Ishould blush tomurmur! Eh? Poll, what is your opinion?” **Cake! Cracker!” answeréd the bird, ‘‘ Poll wants drink, too!” ‘‘That’s the talk! Cake, cracker and booze. There’s no June bugs on Pete Parrot and bis darter Poll, ef they bain’t never Leen to Con- gress! Aire ye comin’ along, Mose? Better come, Thar’s plenty of gals, an’—” ‘‘ The girls don’t concern me,” replied Mose, a spice of sadness in his tone, Pete looked at him sharpty ‘¢ You’re the durndest curious chap I ever ma- ted with,” he declared, solemnly. ‘** How sof” ‘*’Cause ye don’t like the gals. Why, a good lookin’ feller like you orter make more mashes men} kin, which is sayin’ a good deal, ain’t it, ) ‘You bet!” returned Poll, ‘‘ Polly wants cake. Polly wants bug-juice!” ** And by the great humpin’ hornet, Polly shall have cake!” declared Pete Parrot. ‘‘ We will have cake, or will bu’st, and don’t ye ferget et. So come along, me bird of paradise, and I will introduce ye to the bride!” And apparently reckless of consequences, Pete strcde up the lawn, toward the house. Magic Mose did not follow him, He was bold enough but did not care to risk his life, when there was no occasion for it, and he knew it would be risking his life to venture into the Sage mansion, at that moment of anger and excitement, But, Pete Parrot did not have that view of the matter, apparently, for be strode on up the lawn, and Poll screeched: ‘ Poor Polly! olly wants a cake!” Just as Pete reached the veranda,’ which en- tirely surrounded the house, Samuel Sage came out. Words passed between the two men, but what they were Magic Mose had no means of deter- mining, except that they were not of a friendly nature, The confab lasted fully five minutes: then much to the surprise of Mose, Pete Parrot en- tered the house, in company with Sage, arm in arm ‘* Well, by the wonders! What does that signify?’ Mose muttered, ‘' Have the brothers made up, or is Pete and his Poll being Jed intoa trap? I reckon I will wait around bere, and see, Things look mighty queer, to say the least.” He retired into the shadow of one of the clumps of evergreens On the Jawn and waited develop- ments. Presently some of the people came out; then the band appeared playing a wedding march; the bride and groom and the mass of the guests followed, but no Pete Parrot nor his bird Poll? CHAPTER IV. POLLY AS A MESSENGER, Tre band came first, with the exception that it was preceded by the minister from Virginia City. Biter the band walked Burt Bradford and Fe 3 = : _ 3 Sane