Beadle's Half Dime Library, No. 516 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 - nee ee _- Ooooh” . s " 3 e¥ aint ep vapfe” vr ‘*? have, mum,”’ replied Phil, with all the po- diteness he could muster. ** And you want the place?” ** Wa-al, | have come ter investigate.” ‘Certainly. Of course you will not take it blindly. You look like an honest, willing young man, ‘* { ain’t perfict, butI be honist,” Phil replied. ‘Where do you live?” **On Macdougal street.” ‘** Are you poor?” ** T assooredly be.” ‘‘T am sorry there are so many peek people,” said the old lady, with asigh. ‘* But tell me of yourself, young man.” Phil obeyed. He wasanorphan, and though an. old gentleman had seen fit to send him to school and help him in various ways, he had an ambi- tion to do something for himself, during the summer vacation. iss Sykes spoke commend- ingly of this resolution, and then added: * What 1s your name?” ‘* Philip Henry Morrill, so called.” ‘‘ Well, our conversation seems to be satisfac- tory, thus far. N ow, allow me to ask you if ‘you are fond of cats? Miss Sykes looked anxiously at him as she asked the question, and it did a good deal to re- store Phil to his usual mood, ‘‘T’m passionately fond o’ them.” ‘*Indeed! Is this really so!” ‘‘True ez kin be,mum. Fax is fax, arnd they’re stubborn things. I’ve had some ex- rience, arnd I know whar’of I speak.” ‘* Would you be willing to care tor them?” ** Ter care fur ’em?”’ é¢ Yes.”’ ‘‘Wa-al,” said Phil, slowly, feeling that he was in deep water, ‘‘I had s’posed they could keer fur theirselves, but ef they need a helpin’ hand, I’m sure I ain’t the pestiferous critter ter megilect ’em,” & The — the what?’ asked Miss Sykes, aubiously. ‘* Pestiferous critter, was what I said. That’s Hebroo fur a mean feller, d’ye see?” The old lady looked at him in a doubtful, puz- zled way, as though she did not fully ‘‘ see,” but allowed it to pass. : ‘*T will explain a little,’ she graciously ob- served. ‘“‘I am rich, and alone in the world and I find it necessary to have some nominal employment, and some way to expend my super- fluous funds. Such being the case, I have joined the International Women’s Rights League, and the Association for the Prevention of Cruel- ty to Cats.” Five Points Phil stared at the old lady blank- ly. It was his turn to be dazed, ‘* Jes’ so!” he observed, though he had not un- derstood more than half that Miss Sykes said. ‘*The managers of these societies often visit me for advice and social exchange of views,” she added, ‘‘ and I fancy { have done great good by means of my money contributions,” ‘** Assooredly,” Phil agreed. ‘*‘ Both these enterprises are grand ones. The wrongs of women and cats cry out for aid, and Iam glad to be a humble soldier under the flag, and aid them all I can.” ; She spoke with enthusiasm, and Phil promptly perceived that though she was the kindest of women, she was a monomaniac on the subjects ‘to which she had given her attention. ‘*Mum,” quoth Phil, waving his hand, ‘you couldn't be in a better cause, arnd ’tain’t so dang’rous fightin’ under that flag ez some others.” ‘*- Young man, I do not fear danger.” ‘Great ginger, no! I should say not. ‘Your face shows thet you hev an iron narve, arnd could seatter the pestiferous inemy at one sweep ©’ yer blunderbuss.” * Philip, I don’t like that expression of yours —‘pestiferous enemy.’ It doesn’t sound re- fined.” ‘Wal, them critters ain't refined. Can’t call a shark a goldfish, yer know. Assooredly not!” : ‘* Your point is a good one, but if you were to say ‘the depraved enemy,’ it would sound bet- ter ‘Tl b’ar it in mind.” ‘‘My sympathy for cats is of a thoroughly practical nature,” resumed Miss Sykes, ‘and my home is in great degree an asylum for these unfortunates, J have one hundred and three of them in my house now!” “Great ginger!” Phil ejaculated, looking un- der the sofa and table, as though he expected to see a dozen of them lying around loose. ‘Do you approve of that?” she asked, with a more searching glance than she had before be- stowed upon Phil, ! Tartar Tim. **Sartain, Ido. What would cats do ef thar was gy, ter take em in like a good Samar- ington? The streets would overflow with ’em; ev'ry stoop would be alive with ’em; hoss-cars would ile the rails with choice cat all the way from the Battery ter Harlem. A’prove on’t? Assooredly, mum, assooredly!”’ ‘**f am pleased to hear you say so. Now would you like to see these objects of nry care?” ‘* Nothin’ else would please me half so much.” ‘* Then follow me.” The old lady arose, and, moving slowly, crossed the room and opened a door at its ex- tremity. ‘* Step in,” she directed. ‘Five Points Phil obeyed, and then stood smazed at what he saw, He seemed to have en- tered the world, or heaven, of cats,. They were there in abundance, and of every color—black white, gray, yellow, and every possible grade of mixture. If there had been a rain of cats, and Miss Sykes had collected the whole shower, they could not have been much thicker. ‘* Did you ever see a sight equal to that?” she asked, triumphantly. “Ti take m y affidavy that I never did. Never/ Great ginger, whata menagerie! What's flocks o’ sheep, arnd cattle, arnd hosses, compared ter these mild-eyed cherubs? Hist’ry fales, mum, in tryin’ ter ekul this scene; it assooredly does!” hil meant all that he said, in one sense, and he stared at the felines in open-mouthed wonder, Miss Sykes was manifestly pleased. ‘**One hundred and three of them,” she said, with almost childish accents, ‘‘and every one named. Their names, and, if possible, ages, are recorded in the big book you see yonder. ** Do they amble up fur roll-call reg’lar?” “They are not quite so learned as that,” answered Miss Sykes, beautifully unconscious of any sarcasm, ‘‘ Do you see the black which hes there?” sé Yes. ” “ That is Joan d’Arec.” “Kh? What? Jawin’ in ths Dark?” ** Joan of Arc; named for an old-time heroine. The gray by the window is Lucrecia Borgia.” ** She does look gorgeous, mum,” ‘* Borgia, not gorgeous, isthe word. Lucrecia Borgia, the first, was also an old-time beroine. Some men writers have tried to prove that she was a dreadful poisoner, but they wronged her. Ah! the wrongs of women are many!” ‘* Yes, poor critters! they hev a heap o’ pestif- erous trouble.” ‘Say terrible trouble, please.” ** Assooredly.” ‘** That large white cat is Romeo.” “He don’t want ter roam much ’round New York, or the boys will wind up his career with clubs and sich.” ‘*Wicked boys! See the noble animal that is approaching you. His name is Charlemagne.” “Charley Mann? Wal, he’s a pooty lusty- lookin’ feller, b’gosh. By the way, whar is Thomas Cat?—or haven’t you got him in stock? Miss Sykes, I must say you hev a fine c’lection, arnd [ll look over the pay-roll some day arnd find out jest who is who, Chaied Mann, Roamer, Jawer in the Dark and Low-creature Gorgeous. Them names is farmly fixed in my mind, arnd Ill git onter the rest, though I hope they ain’t so pestiferous—I mean, so excrootiatin’ly hard ter speak,” “My dear boy, the names you have learned are not as you have them. hey are Charle- magne, Romeo, Joan of Arc and Lucrecia Bor- gia, respectively, Bear thisin mind, You will learn them properly in a little while. Ah! yonder comes Tancred—a noble animal, named for the old crusader. Well, Betty, what is it?” The servant had entered. ‘‘ Mr. Seth Maudston is here to see you, Miss Sykes.” | ‘Indeed! I will see him at once, Come, Philip Henry, and sit in the parlor until I can finish with Mr. Maudston. He will remain only afew minutes, and then we will resume our conversation, and see if | am to engage you.” CHAPTER V., PHIL SEES SOME EMINENT PERSONS. Miss SYKES left the room and Phil followed, but as he did so, he glanced at the cat to which his attention had last been drawn. ‘‘ Lunkhead, the Crew-slayer!” he muttered. ‘‘ Hyar’s another name fur me ter remember, arnd I'll do it. Great ginger! this is wuss than lYarnin’ Greek from a Choctaw Injun. I feel weak in the knees. Wonder what’s afore me now? He looked and saw Miss Sykes shaking hands with a tall gentleman who looked so melancholy, that Phil felt his heart moved to pity. The visi- 5 tor regarded Miss Sykes with sad tenderness, and was making a few appropriate remarks. ** Philip,” then said the old lady, ‘ this is Mr. Seth Maudston, Past Worthy Grand Master of the Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Cats. Mr. Maudston, this is young Philip Mor- rill, whom I think of employing.” Five Points Phil made a syatoined bow. ‘“Yer obedient, Mr. Muddystone,” he re- marked, but the tall man looked at: him severe- ly. ‘*Do I really understand, Miss Sykes, that you are going to hire this boy?” ‘| think of doing so, sir.” ‘Reflect, madam, upon the money it will re- quire! This sum, if given to the A. P. C, C.— what good it would do!” He rolled his eyes upward, but Miss Sykes an- swered: ‘*Tam sure you will not object when I say sian is here to care for the cats which I har- or. ‘‘That’s a fack, Mr. Muddystone,” added Phil. ‘“ My name, boy, is Maudston, not Muddy- stone,” that gentleman severely said. ‘‘ Miss Sykes, Ido not object. If the interests of your innocent cats require the lad, engage him by all means. Ah! the door-bell. I hope you are to have no more company.” Mr, Maudston looked uneasy, ‘* Probably it is only some one on an errand.” “‘T hope that 1s all, Miss Sykes, and I would say at once that I have come on business con- cerning the A. P. C. C., and wish to see you alone,’ The door opened, and Betty announced labori- ba ‘* Miss Frazer and Mrs. Witherell, of the Inter- national Woman’s Rights League.” And in marched two ladies with stern and business-like demeanor; one being a small wo- man with a very good-natured face, and the other a tall, lank, sharp-faced woman who looked, in her ancient style of dress, as though she had come to life after a sleep of a hundred years, taken a bath in vinegar, and then come to Miss Sykes’s on some hostile errand, Something had given her a decided limp, and she walked with a cane which had a spike in the lower end, Tbis woman was marching toward Miss Sykes with her inexorable air, but, suddenly seeing Mr. Maudston, she as suddenly came to a halt, The two lank worthies stared silently at each other, and Five Points Phil could have sworn that they were deadly enemies. Finally Maudston bowed stiffly. ‘* How do you do, Miss Frazer?” ‘* Mr. Maudston, sir, I am well, sir. well, sir?” Miss Frazer’s voice was shrill and pitiless, and when she applied the word “ sir” to Maudston so freely, she did it with the air of one who knows that she sees a bitter enemy of her sex, and wishes to crush him with the weight of sar- castic politeness, Miss Sykes looked flurried, ‘* Please be seated, all,” she interrupted. ‘*T had thought to find you alone,” said Miss Frazer, looking at the hostess as though she had committed a crime, ‘So had I,” said Maudston, pointedly. “Perhaps,” quoth Miss Frazer, with fresh sarcasm, ‘vou wanted to raise money for your cats | ‘*Of course,” retorted Maudston, ‘*‘ you don’t want any money for your women /” The representatives of the rival associations glared belligerently at each other, while open- eyed Five Points Phil indistinctly muttered: ‘‘Great ginger! Hev I struck a house o? ‘ fre iks?? ” ‘“You shall both have a check from me,” Miss Sykes promised, nervously, ‘Pray be seated !’ This time she was obeyed, and Phil watched from the extremity of the room, smiling to see the undisguised hostility of Maudston and Miss Frazer. The latter waved her spiked cane at the Past Worthy Grand Master of the A. P. C. C., and Lge fire again in her relentless manner: ‘The wrongs of woman, sir, would melt the heart of an angel. Do angels weep? They do, and all because of the wrongs of my sex, Sir woman is trod in the dust, by the cruel heel of the monster, Man!” ‘‘T’ve heard all this before,” growled Maud- ston. ‘You shall hear it again, sir. The whole world shall hear it, sir, ey will shout " abroad to the four winds of heaven—” ‘*'When you do so, why not deliver it from one of the towers of the Brooklyn Bridge? The winds would have a good chance there.’ Are you EAA | —_ ede. tery, OoOmicp i a dh - ——