Beadle's Half Dime Library No. 424 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LO “ —— Then attention was turned to the stage. That, too, was turned almost inside out, but the re- sult was the same. To use a Westernism—there was some tall swearing done. ‘‘ Where were you stopped?” the leader asked. ***Bout two miles back,” the driver replied. ‘* How many agents tackled you?” ** Only one.” “Only one? Thunder!” ** Jest prezackly.” ** 1 don’t believe it. You are trying some cute game with me.” ‘* Wal, ye’re welcome ter search us ag’in, ef ye like.” That was useless, ‘* Well, we'll give you up this time,” said the leader of the band. ‘If it is a trick, it is a mighty good one, and you deserve to go free. Get in, and go ahead.” The travelers obeyed, and the stage was soon on its way again, making good speed toward Ante-Bar. ‘* Wal, ef this heur trip don’t beat all!” the driver broke out, as they were rolling along. ‘*Two stops within an hour! It beats anything that J ever heard happen afore, an’ I’ve met quite a few gentlemen o’ th’ road in my time, too! Lordy! what a figger that feller did cutin this heur gown!” “It is certainly a mystery,” said Gerald Keyne. ‘I cannot understand how he could spirit away that lady and her negro servant with no help. I thought he must have ten or a dozen men atleast! It puzzles me completely.” ‘Give it up!” said the driver. ‘ He did it, thet are sure.’ ‘* Wal, let’s have a little fun ourselves, now,” said one of the men who rode on top, ‘‘ seein’ ez ther cussed agents hez had theirs! Jest hand thet ’ar gown an’ bonnet over heur, an’ Vil put ’em on an’ go ter town in ’em!” ‘*Tfa, ha, ha!” one of his companions laughed. “™heat would be fun, Jim; but Pll bet two dol- ia~3 you ain’t got ther cheek ter do it!” »har’ll ye git two dollars?’ asked he called *¢ Jim,” ‘“ Wal, that’s so; but PU bet my hat ag’in’ your boots, anyhow!” ‘*Done!” cried the other, man ter dare me wi’ a bet! gown, an’ on it goes!” The driver handed the striped gown and the bonnet over to him, and the fellow put them on. He was as homely a man as ever lived. His hair was red and long, his skin was red and patched with great freckle-blotches, and his eyes were of a color best defined as bottle-green. is nose was long, and his mouth was one broad slit, almost from ear to ear, The moment he was attired in the uliar gant every one who could see him laughed eartily. They could not help it. As the driver said, it was enough to make a sick dog laugh. ‘Oh! Ain’t I a beauty!” the man exclaimed. ** Ain’tIla darling! Oh! My! Don’t some one want ter kiss me?” And he smiled and nodded around upon them all, causing a fresh burst of laughter. The man’s face happened to be clean-shaved, he having indulged in the luxury of a shave at the last station, and he looked for all the world like an old woman. He made fun enough, during the rest of the journey, to cause his companions to forget their troubles, At Ante-Bar, in the meantime, all was ex- pectation. Almost the whole town was out to greet the new schoolmarm, and to have a look at her. The young folks of the town were es- pecially interested, A place was all prepared for her at Jem Pat- terson’s house, where it had been decided she should board, and Sally Ann had a steaming hot supper ready for her, But, the stage was late. All were impatient, Each minute seemed ten. At last, however, just about an hour after dark, the stage came rolling into the town and drew up in front of the post-office. The postmaster stepped forward, hat in gand, and = i the door. . Out came Phineas Skynn and Levi Poppenhei- No lady was there, and great was the dis- 0 Geptormper the postmaster felt. he stepped back, however, the passengers on top were just getting down, and he caught gight of thered and green striped Mother Hub- rd gown. : Quickly stepping forward he held up his pands, and said: ‘* Allow me, ma’m, ter help ye down, An’ welcome yé ter this ia town :—” He got no further. “TF don’t "low no Hand over ther mer. The man who wore the ' oe - ® * a Pape he SF we m~ Cibuta John. re - — « — A ee a $+ peculiar rig glanced down, and then in a high and half-cracked falsetto voice, cried out: “Oh! Don’t mind me, old hoss! Don’t mind me! I kin git down from heur ez slick ez a cat kin lick her paw. Don’t mind me!” And he clambered down. The poet fell back with a groan. ‘*Great jumpin’ William Hennery Czear!!” cried Bill Twicker. ‘‘ What did I tell ye?” ‘*Oh! Great Scott, an’ all ther hull fambly!” gasped Jem Patterson. And a hundred other exclamations followed. ‘* Wal, what on ’arth ails ye?” the man in the gown cried out, still in the disguised voice. ‘‘ Be ye all gone crazy?” galore as a whole, was completely para- yzed. uae poet of the Bar tried to speak but could not. ‘* Wal, great snakes an’ bug-juice!” cried he in the Mother Hubbard and sun-bonnet, ‘*‘ what does ail ye? Hain’t yenever see’d a woman afore? Does my natural beauty o’ face an’ form stagger ye? Thatit? Thunder! Wait till ye see me in my Sunday-go-ter-meetin’ rig! Then ye’ll stare, you bet!” Judge Hucklebee was the first to find power to speak, ree Madam,” he said, ‘‘ is it possible that you are the lady who expects to become the school-ma’m here.” Now, the fellow named Jim was quick-witted, and he saw it all ata glance. He was mistaken for the lady passenger. Here wasa chance for sport that was not to be missed. ‘*O’ course Lam!” he cried. ‘‘Great horned toads! What did ye expect? Did ye expect ter see a rosy-cheeked little dame o’ sixteen, er thar’bouts, wi’ a mouth ez purty ez th’ red side 0’ a ripe peach? Seay! Don’t my appearance suit ye? Think I ein’t purty? Wal, ye don’t know me yet, that’s all! Whew!” and catching up the trail of the gown the man whirled around on one heel, ‘‘ ’m a daisy from’way back, J am, an’ don’t ye forgit it! Say, aim’t ye goin’ ter re- ceive me? Show me th’ manas has charge 0’ this heur affair!” That man was Uncle Danicl Derrick. He had been standing at one side, trying to realize his awful position, but at this last demand he fainted dead away. “Wal, hang my old stockin’s!” he of the Mother Hubbard cried, ‘‘This goes ahead of all! I knowed I was purty, but dast my garter- buckles if I ever thort I was purty enough ter cast sich a spell over a crowd ez i have casted heur !” The other passengers of the stage-coach, who saw how it was, laughed till they cried. ‘‘Holy smoke!” cried Jem Patterson, ‘‘she can’t come ter my house, that’s flat! She'd skar ther kids inter fits, an’ Sally Ann would scalp her on th’ spot. She'd snatch her bald- headed on th’ fu’st round!” ‘Say, Jeff,” said Bill Twicker to Jeff Parsons, ‘“‘maybe you an’ Tom Billings will change yer minds now, an’ try ter marry her after all.” The young men both groaned. And groan in spirit did all the people of Ante- Bar who were present. ‘Wal, ef this heur ain’t a sociable lot o’ he critters, I never chawed terbakker!” cried the maninthe gown. ‘I expected a royal recep- tion heur, an’ what do I git? Say, you galoots! Is thar not a single one among ye that is man enough ter ax me up ter drink? Ef thar is, let him sing out. CHAPTER X. & WELCOME SURPRISE. JusT how it would have terminated, we will not venture to predict; but there came new actors upon the scene, and the fun was stopped. Some water sprinkled in Uncle Dan’s fagn liell brought him quickly to his senses again. He was soon on his feet. The new-comers were—first, Cibuta John, leading his horse, At his side walked a negro, none other than Snowball White. Upon the horse rode the negro’s mistress, Clara St. Clare. in front of the post-office, between it and the a they stopped, and Cibuta helped the lady w n. ‘‘ Citizens of Ante-Bar,” he said, ‘‘ allow me to introduce the lady who is to become school- mistress here—Clara St. Clare.” The lady bowed and the crowd gave vent toa lovwid cheer. ‘* That cooks my goose!” said the man ‘‘ Jim,” and quickly he threw off his bonnet and striped gown. Uncle Daniel Derrick was now himself again, and stepping to the front he doffed his hat, made a bow, and said: a EE rere ener a a NDI P——, % ©” 5 - “ - ee. > r - 7 —- ** Welcome, fair lady that ye are, Welcome heur to Ante-Bar. We welcome ye—” But his address was far too long to be given in full here. It was expressive of welcome, hope for health, happiness, success, etc.; and ran on, rhyme after rhyme. ‘hen he had done, the lady said in reply: ‘*Sir, it would be folly for me to attempt so eloquent a speech. In truth, I will attempt no speech at all. least a shadow of the good things you have wished for me may fall athwart my path. Ican say no more. I am very tired, and beg to be baken to my stopping-place. To-morrow, I hope, I shall meet you again, to make your bet- ter acquaintance,” Judge Hucklebee then spoke. He introduced Jem Patterson, and explained that arrangements had been made for her to put up at his house. Like the postmaster, he wished her happiness and success. Then he bade her good-night. Jem Patterson then conducted her to his home and introduced her to his Sally Ann, who welcomed her heartily. “Now, gentlemen,” said Cibuta John, the moment the lady was gone, ‘‘I have a little business. to transact right here and now, anda little speech to make. I hope all will pay at- tention. Wait! Vll mount my horse, so that all can see and hear me.” And he did so. ‘* Now,” he continued, as he took asmall note- book from his pocket and glanced at a page of it, ‘‘is there present a man named Levi Pop- penheimer?” ‘‘Dat ish me!” exclaimed the old Jew, as he pushed to the front. ‘* Vat ish it, mine frient?” ‘‘ Well, Mr. Poppenheimer, I have here a little property belonging to you. Please examine it, right hero in the presence of all, and say whether or not it be all right.” And as he spoke he placed into the old Jew’s hands the very thin that had been taken from him by the road- agent. 4 ‘“Wv! bless mine soul!” the old Jew cried. ‘‘Mine goot frient, how ever did you get dis for me? Pless you! mine goot mans, pless you!” ‘Ts it all there?’ Cibuta asked. ‘¢ Yes, mine frient, it ish all here, efery t’ing v’at vas daken from me py de robber.” ‘* All right. Now, Phineas Skynn will please step to the fore.” Mr. Skynn stepped. : ‘Ts this your property?” holding before him the things of which he had been robbed. ‘“Yes, oh! yes, sir!” cried Mr. Skynn, most joyfully. : Cibuta delivered it to him, and the lawyer ac- tually shed tears of joy. Gerald Keyne was the next called, and he ac- cepted his property with as good a grace as he could command. And so, in turn, all of the men who had been robbed were called up, and their property was returned to them in toto. It was a most welcome surprise to them. ‘‘ Now,” said Cibuta John, when he had de- livered the last man his money and other effects, ‘‘no doubt you are ready to hear me explain this little matter.” ‘*- Yes! yes!” cried everybody at once. ‘Well, gentlemen, it is easily done. This forenoon I overheard four men, right here in town, plotting to waylay and rob the stage; and I resolved to take a hand in the game myself. I rode dow: ‘’ > trail beyond the point where I had bear. } cn say they intended stopping the stage. iin when it came along I stones it myself. Then I robbed every man aboard, making a safe deposit company of myself for the time being. Having seen me return the property to each man, however, you of course understand my object.” “ But,” queried the driver, ‘‘ how did ye git hold o’ sich a disguise ez ye had on?” ‘That was arig that ] had made some time ago to wear ata met ee down at Cibuta. I had it in my gripsac use.” ‘““Wal, you’re a plucky cuss, anyhow!” the driver declared, Fou saved our wealth fer us, eZ sure as guns! We was stopped ag’in by four fellers, an’ I tell ye they looked sick when we told ’em our leetle story. It war a good joke, all around!” “Three cheers fer Cibuta John!” some one cried out, and the three cheers were given with a hearty will. ‘‘ There is one thing that J cannot understand, sir,” said Gerald Keyne, ‘‘and I'd like to ask a question.” : ‘‘ Fire away!” replied Cibuta, ’ and it came right into. I thank vou, one and all, for this | kind welcome to Ante-Bar, and hope that at . a | | re rr re _ oc SO