Beadle's Half Dime Library, No. 12 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a ae - -—— een eR ee ee eee eee make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a sardral, or gentleman usher, came from court, com- manding my master to carry for the diversion of the queen and her es. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and report- ed st e things of my beauty, behavior, and good sense. er majesty, and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanor. I fell on my knees, and begged the honor of kissin her imperial foot; but this gracious princess helc out her little finger toward me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it, with the utmost respect, to my lips. She made me some general questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as distinctly and in as few words as I could. She asked, whether I would be content to live at court. I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly. answered, that I was my master’s slave; but if I were at my own dis- sal, I should be proud to devote my life to her ma- jest service. She then asked my master whether e was willing to sell me at a good price. He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the ¥ ie each piece being about the bigness of eight hun red which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal; yet more quadrupeds being _an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some me immediately thither i _ Should be able to sup others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I rt myers unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which they offered, by man learned arguments, to evince that I could not possi- bly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that _Imight be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and that I had lived several years, as was manifest from my beard, the stumps whereo mr! plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They would not alow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for the queen's favorite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they concluded unanimously, thatI was only reiplum scaicath, which is interpreted literally lusus nature ; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaini the old evasion of occult causes, whereby the fol- lowers of Aristotle endeavored in vain to di their pease have invented this wonderful solu- tion of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advance- | ment of human knowledge. moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all | things between that country and Europe, and the | high price of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said to the queen, since I was now her meine ten most humble creature and vassal, I must beg the fa- vor, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood how to do it so well, might be admitted into her ser- vice, and continue to be my nurse and instructor. Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent; who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow. The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty, that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature | found by chance in his fields; which obligation was amply recompensed by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for; that the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my ——— that my health was much a by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not have got socheap a bargain. But as 1 was out of all fear of being ill-treated, under the protection of so great and good an empress, the ornament of na- ture, the darling of the world, the delight of her sub- jects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master’s apprehensions would prpesr to be ground- less; for I already found my spirits revive, by the in- fluence of her most august presence. is was the sum of my s h, delivered with great improprieties and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to that ople, whereof I had learned some phrases from Giumdalelitch, while she was carrying me to court. The queen, giving great allowance for my defec- tiveness in §s ing, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not well observin queen, after a col w fond of a k me to be, as I lay upon my breast in her ma- esty’s right hand. But this princess, who has an in- te deal of wit and humor, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did in a very few words; and Glum clitch, who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I sheuld be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had ed from my arrival at her father’s house. The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, and had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathematics, yet, when he observed my shape nonin & and saw me walk erect before I hewati to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clockwork (which is, in that coun- try, arrived to a very great perfection), contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and ra- tional, he could not conceal his astonishment. He manner, how long it wassince she | | | | | | | | | | SS was by nO means satisfied with the relation I gave | him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to | make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagina- tion,he put several other questions to me, and st ceived rational answers, no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which learned at the farmer’s house, and did not suit the polite style of a court. His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in the weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These gentlemen, after they had awhile examined my shape with much nicety, were of different —— concerning me, They all agreed that I could not be produced ac- cording to the regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I 6s ge myself to the king, and assured his majesty, that Icame from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in proportion; and whereby, in consequence, I might be as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty’s sub- jects could do here; which I took fer a full answer to those gentlemen's arguments. To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying, that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson. The king, who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who, by good fortune, was not yet gene outof town. Hay- ing, therefore, first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the you irl, his ma- jesty an to think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A conveni- ent apartment was provided for her at court; she had a sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen com- manded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that ht serve me for a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and, accord- ing to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash windows, a door, and two closets, like a London bedchamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her ma- jesty’s upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosi- ties, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put ws ys zsin. ‘The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the careless- ness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for 5 A door, to prevent rats and mice from coming my shape at first view, asked the | smallest that ever was seen among them, for I have splacknuck ; for such, it seems, he | in. e smith, after several attempts, made the known a larger at the gate of a gentleman’s house in England. I made a shift to keep the keyina ket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be got, to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the Per- sian, and gn the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent habit. The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just at her elbow, and a chair to siton. Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London toy-shop, for the furni- ture ofa baby-house; these my little nurse kept in her pocket, in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the younger, _ at that time, thirteen and a month. Her majesty re- | had | used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself, and her diversion was, to see me eat in miniature; for the queen (who had, indeed, bit a weak stomach) took up at one mouth- ful as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which, to me, was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a bit of bread in her mouth, as big as two twelvepenny loaves. She drank out of a olden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her ives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle; the eons, forks, and other in- struments, were all in the same proportion. I re- member, when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of 11 curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible a sight. It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is their sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, dine together in the apartment of his mia ing to whom I was now become a great favorite; and at these times my little chair and table were placed at his left hand, ore one of the saltcellars. This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best account I was able. ge se was so clear, and his judgment so ex- act, that he made very wise reflections and observa- tions upon all Isaid. But I confess, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own be- loved country, of our trade and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state, the prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other, ter a hearty fit of laughing, asked me whether I was a Whig or Tory. en, turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Ora: he observed how contemptible a thing was h ccalen. which could be mimicked by such diminu- ive insectsas I, ‘And yet,” says he, “I dare en- gage, these creatures have their titles and distinc- ions of honor; they contrive little nests and bur- Pibela yng they ry ouses oye pad gr” —. : gure in dress and equipage; they love, they they dispute, they Gatal. thay betray.” Aga thus he continued on, while my color came and went several times with indignation, to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, nee honor, and truth, the pride and envy of the wor d, sO contemptuously treated. But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so, upon mature thoughts, I began to doubt whether I was injured or not. For, after ha been ac- customed several months to the sight and converse of this people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine he to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then be- held a company of English lords and ladies, in their finery and birthday clothes, acting their several arts in the most courtly manner of strutting, and piste Been: prating, 9 ay A the truth, I should have been ngly tempted to h as much at them, as the king and his dees did at me. Neither, in- deed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the ques be frag ager: me %. n her hand ee boo Be ooking-glass, whic h our persons @ before me in ful view together; Aa there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison, so that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual size. othi 9 and mortified me so much ag the ueen’s dwarf; who, being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high), became so lent at see a creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to sw rand look big as he passed by me in the queen's antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the lords or mony of ys court; and ae so press a og ; word or two upon my eness, Ww could only reve myself by calling him Jrother, challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court ges. One day at dinner, this malicious little cub was so n with something I had said to him, that, r him- self upon the frame of her majesty’s chair, he took me Hd by the middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large ver bow! of cream, and then ran away as fast as could. I fell over head and ears, and, if I had been a good swimmer, it might have gone very with me; for Glumdalclitch in thatinstant hap to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was ae to bed; however, I re- ceived no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which were utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and, as a further punishment, forced to d up the bowl of cream into which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to favor; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw bim no more, to we fi great satisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremity such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment. ; He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing, although, at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrowbone upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow aced the bone a in the dish erect, as it stood before: the dwarf, watching his o rtunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and sq my legs together, wedged them into the marrow-bone above my waist, where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous fi I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of me, for I thought it below me to cry out; but, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stoe and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my, entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping. I was frequently rallied by the queen on account EE ee 900! CS com (E