You Bet Bob from Cross Crick — page 9: what you’re looking at

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You Bet Bob from Cross Crick. 9 cee a eee ne a aa EE eT a Sa aN TL TE LY a a I hink oy j’t jist ther season fer flowers, ter say tepv ther boys had ornymented gorjus,”’ Ter ov ther sarcoffygus with a do better jttle, and strewed et with old ’ said Bolither longer ther time, and ther e€ a proudey imbibed to ther dead man’s ier higher their spirits grewd. ald be, efall wur ’sembled, ther actin’ ery,” said to his feet. 1@ can’t? |ld see his knees gimble. anew thing in his kareer, ter Sneered Bpeech, and we doubted mighty er speer@hether he would be able ter do y, ef he happed to ther front, thrust one it, he is kr ther buzzum ov his coat and >, and hel forth the other, and thar he ie ary blame statcher. He opened said I, wrth, but nothin’ kem forth, ye don’tis plum gabooed. m hyer, @d at Bob and Bob looked at me. r place ofS goin’ ter be a clean case OV id we knowed et prime shur. her smok he. , I. CHAPTER X. ez he, RATIN’ THER ORASHUN. _. . .|actin’ mayor gulped like ary eginnin’|with ther pip. © an’ Band kem down, and he shifted his rce, m one foot to t’other, and then he Sulch, tome more. 4mp in red and white by turns, his bust theknocked and gimbled wuss’n a r brunt, a blizzard, and he gulped and nd did nothin’ but gulp. Et was ould berase. on us t} Somethin’, blast yer, say some- tchune, jcried one feller in ther crowd, wur hid no ’sideration fer feelin’s. lade ’twat aire ye actin’ mayor fer?” de- _ another. ' Johnnjidown!” +elled a third. id swit¢f— feller c— c— citerzens!” stut- es didgis a s— s— sollum ’casion ‘fer on. City. W# Bire hyér tér do r handsgo our dead,” ray!’ yauped somebody. and thn’, Gabe.” her rigS found et!” from another. nt, to thd fer Gabe!” west, t had a disastrous 'fect. ack agé Mought jist as well up an’ shot r east, ad, fer all ther good he was after her ids bose Cuss, plum druv desprut. * Keep k to thegun ter stretch his neck and gulp oon, afore, and purty scon ther gang h sing? tO ther fact that he was plum moshu 2nd they hollered fer him to sot -minn#@ Manner onmistakable. purspurashun wur jist runnin’ ur jist bubblin’ full ov chagrin, given Mad that he couldn’t ’a’ told what ht an’ proper name wur. crowf crowd was whoopin’ wild. ® have got et our own way,” said ler wa’*nin’ over and hollerin’ in my ear. v thei’ Shur have,’ I answered him. ‘“ Et e et av Your turn, now, ter say somethin’ ave ther honor ov Cross Crick.” ‘ther you,” said Bob. left pu,” said I, “Et all s On you, Cy.” t, you aire to say ther sarmount Ov et,” I ’minded him. “ You i impa as well pitch in.” -y you aire to do ther orate part, .have got ter!” “Settled et. 4 ter me ter.make ther try. soap bes , i and pnEF crowd let up their i on ay - ae Ray hyer promises to be. By coe i ve. often done a little thing ! a : ree ° + Sa 3 yet * G - , 7) on ~ val “4 ee a" i rq a q te ~~ - he tok es like that, et didn’t stagger me any wuth a cent, and I sailed in. I flung my head back defiant, keepin’ my hat on and snappin’ my black ban- ners in ther breeze, ez et wur, and plantin’ out my foot and stickin’ one hand in my buzzum, I sailed in. “Honored galoots ov Sawbuck!” I yauped at’em. ‘“ We hev come hyer ’pon this hyer sollum ’casion, not ter bury Seezer, but ter praise him!” “ Who’s Seezer?” yelled somebody. “What has he got ter do with et?” chirped another. “This hyer is ther funeral ov Gun- sight John. don’t fergit that ’ar.’ “ Seezer ain’t in et!” I waved ’em scornful. “T only spoke figgery,’’ I told ’em. “ Ef you want anything purty said ov yer de- funct mayor, keep yer heads shut and hear ther oracle,” “amen!” said my pard, sollum. “In ther fust place,’ I resumed, “I feel plenty fer yer actin’ mayor, so over- come with emoshun that he wasn’t able ter render ther refulgent orashun thet we all know he had in mind.” Thar was some cheerin’, at that. Gila Gabe perked up a bit, seein’ it had been let down easy fer him. “ And et is maybe jist as well,’ I con- tinnered. ‘‘ Ef he had onloaded ther sor- rer ov his buzzum to ye, all at oncet, it would have caused ye all to weep salt, sad tears, and would have rendered sad this joyous ’casion. Let us be thankful fer small blessin’s as they come to us.”’ “ Amen!” said my pard, plenty hearty. “Ons ov nacher’s noblemen has been called to his reward,’ I slung at ’em. “ Whyfor should we be spillin’ our weeps about that? Ruther, jet us rejoice and be glad that we kin show this respeck fer his memory, and that we are left alive ter give him sech.a send-off as this What more could ver mayor have asked in life? Et is sublime!” | “Et shur is,’ shouted my pard, with much. voice. “This is ther plum joyousest occasion ov my life !” I yauped forth fn their will- ing-ears: “I am proud to stand hyer, as I do, upholdin’ the banner ov Cross Crick ’pon sich an event as this hyer,” I rubbed under their noses. “ Thar is a bond ov sympathy between these hyer two camps that should be cemented fast so’s et could never be sundered. Why not cement et hyer and now? At my feet lies ther whitest mayor this hyer camp ever had— et never had but one. I am hyer to speak ov his virchews.” “ Amen!” shouted my pard, and added sorter voshay: ‘‘ Spread et on thick!” Ther smell ov them thar four fingers Hop Wilson had sevrul times imbibed was makin’ me feel tol’bly good, and I sallyed right in. “What more could mortal mian ask ’h what yer defunct mayor is gittin’ hyer?” I demanded ov ’em, takin’ off my tall hat and wavin’ ther ribbons and banners around impressive. ‘Ter have Cross Crick stand hyer and pronounce him one ov ther grandest men that has ever lived sense ther days ov Autalycus ther Great! Ef one was great, ’tother was greater, as you will admit. Ef anything, this noble man,” stoopin’ and takin’ ther defunct by ther hand, “ was greater than two Autolycusses!”’ and I shook him impres- sive warm. “Men ov Sawbuck City, ye have cause fer rejoicin’ on this hyer mo- menchus occasion!” “ Beautiful!” cried my pard, clappin’ his hands tremenjous. Thar follered sech a storm ov cherrs as you never heard in all your life. cm & ” s fn Actooly, tears wur standin’ in ther eyes ov some ov that crowd, wur ready ter well forth at ther slightest biddin’, They swollered all I guv ’em. “Words fail me, ter portray a charac- ter so beautiful,” I waxed ellykent and more so. ‘‘ Nothin’ but ther onwritten pages ov ther vast beyond kin ever show up sech a life fer all et was worth when et went up an’ down ther world among ets feller mortals. What lies before ye hyer is only ther dust and ashes ov what was oncet a man, and this hyer must perish; but his name will go ringin’ adown ther aisles ov time and thunderin’ ther domes and corrydurs oy memory while this hyer camp shall exist. Men of Sawbuck City, do ye fully ’preciate this moment? Do ye wholly realize ets importance? Ef ye do, let’s have a drink.” * With that, I salammed wide and. low, and stepped back, and felt fer my soap box with my hind foot. “So be et!” yelled my pard, clappin’ like mad. “Second ther moshun!” yelled Hop Wilson, and he took a run and a jump off’n that platform in ther direction ov ther Gilt Edge. “Jump” Wilson would ’a’ been a bet- ter name fer him. Others follered his lead, and thar was nothin’: ther actin’ mayor could do ‘but give ther word, Thar was only one thing my pard was afeerd ov, as he told me later on, and that was really no consarn ov ours. Et was that ther town treasury would run short ov funds. Well, that thar platform wur emtied in a jiffy, save only by ther defunct, and the only reason he didn’t foller was be- cause he wuz plum dead. Really, I felt sorry fer him, ter think what a plum gorjus affair he was missin’ and all that. Well, Hop Wilson took four full again, and the rest ov us about three on a av- erage, and by ther time that important duty was off hand, ther dinner was an- nounced, and we wur requested ter form a circle,out on ther plaza, around ther platform, whar ther grub was ter be passed around. And we went and circled, needless ter say. Fact ov ther business was, most all ov. us wur beginnin’ ter gyrate and circle whether we wanted to or not. CHAPTER XI. ALL HANDS AROUND. Me and my pard sot down side by side. I noted that Bob’s eyes wur beginnin’ ter swim loose in ther sockets. Mebby mine wur ther same, fer ther ground wur beginnin’ ter upheave in a‘ fashion most unruly, et “peared ter me. “Cy,” said Bob. “Sigh on,” said I. “Don’t git funny,” said he. “Tl try not ter,” said I. . “How do yer feel?” he asked me. “Plum galush,’ I answered him, “How do you?” : “ Ditter,” said he. ‘‘ We aire havin’ a bang up time hyer.” 3 “T sh’u’d snigger ef we ain’t,” said LI. “Wonder what'll be next on the pro- gram?” “Give et up,” said he. ‘‘ We'll ’tend ter this part ov et first, and then we'll be fortyfied fer whatever may happen, Hyer comes ther fillin’.” Ther wimmin of ther camp wur trot- tin’ around with ther provinder, and we got our share jist about then. They had gone and killed a fatted caff or two, by ther looks ov things. Et wur some good, and ther way we pA laid et under our vests was a wonder ter — See.) i ie ae aL ae ek Jan rt Sen ‘At =~ ie. at ayes ws - » a Ty ny "ha sd <2 +a 7 ems . ¥ro~. 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