You Bet Bob from Cross Crick — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wonderin’ what I was a-comin’ at, and d I tookin’ fer me ter proceed. Ka- “J was thinkin’ what a happy woman 3 Hanner Simpson must be, if she kin see t!”’ ther noble use we have put her old duds to,” I explained, sorter impressive. ob, ‘Don’t yer think so?” “T’m plenty enough glad she is a cin’ 3peerit,” said Bob. ‘“I’d a heap ruther she’d do her admirin’ ov our handiwork ‘rom ther speerit world, than ter be hyer hat n ther flesh ter speak her mind.” And jzang me if he didn’t sweat over ther eyes at ther thought. ea Well, we laid them thar things tenderly 2” way, and went down town. yin’ | At ther favorite saloon we heard more We »v ther p’ticlars ov that funeral, and we and made up our minds that we wur goin’ ter r et pe right in et. Thar. was ter be speechin’, paradin’, rith ind a grand time in general, and in ther ‘venin’ ther hull thing was ter be topped 1. Off with fireworks. Sawbuck City was had soin’ ter do herself proud. Lp Last thing ov all, ther late lamented vas ter be buried by torchlight, and then "ap har was to be a dance to his memory. in Not that they made light ov et, not ked jy a heap. hed In that way they meant ter show their nim preciation ov their honored dead. They regretted that sech a2 man as all hey John couldn't ’a’ had his last her ¥Vish an’ died with his boots on—that is, no ther way he meant. He died with ‘em wn on, but he meant different. wn Seein’ that he had been denied that dis- ‘arb inction, they wur goin’ to make amends er et the best they could, and had re- olved ter give him ther biggest thing n ther way oy a funeral that ther town vy Sawbuck could git up. And me and 30b wur goin’ ter help ’em all we could. bai- Next mornin’ we wur up betimes. Kit was.quite-a ride up ter Sawbuck yin- ity, and ‘we wanted ter git a early tail- tart. eral More’n that; we wanted ter git out ov & ‘ross Crick before folks at home could 1yer jit too blame queerious about our sing- ised ar make-ups. ight In fact, we tried ter git out oy camp and ;ithout bein’ seen; but it wasn’t any use. i ’a’ Ve wur seen, and a hull gang ov fellers seen em 'prancin’ out ter inspect us in our ther ineral garb. _ And, durn ’em, they lafft—actooly lafft! kin’ ie Bob, ” said I, “ what are they laffin’ ght- ‘“ Reckon et must be at you,” said Bob. ‘his “* More like at you,” I ’torted. is et “What do ye see ter laff at about ie?’ Bob fired up. lmy ‘“ Wull, mebby enough yer hat,” said I. sand “Huh! et’s better’n your’n,”’ scored Bob. wuige “Et is taller by two inches, I know, 9: else aid I, So we had it, back and forth, while we ’ ter enh fer ther boys ter come up ter see 30 rered Seein’ that they had discovered us, and 8.” ad called out fer us ter hold on, we 6 dn’t like ter use ’em mean and ride off, 2 we waited. sloWS But, blast ’em, ther nearer they got 1eVer yer more they lafft, till I begun ter git black Jed. And I could see that Bob was beginnin’ ther T git speckled, too, and I They hadn’t a thing ter laff at. , and ‘Ht was sollum, an’ sollum is as sol- built, m does, you know. ud. We was doin’ et all out ov respect fer _ er departed, and to uphold ther honor our camp, and they’d orter been proud nat is + ng is what we reckoned. sat We each sf e had built out’n pasobetad and | s LL att ‘OO . vy : dD. -h ‘f Pe eel Oe od wae NN « a Pi he . , d on a mighty tall hat, ~Ss¢ n athi r 0 bine me a You Bet Bob from Cross Crick, ick (A ees aa aan oe a EY A AT TARE = like a reg’lar stovepipe; et was haff as tall as a jint ov pipe. Each ov them hats had a narrer brim —we had ter make ’em narrer, run- nin’ out ov cardboard. Around ther hats, then, was a great wide band ov black, with a yard extra that streamed down )e- hind. We had set out ter be plum gor- jus, and I opine we wur. Wull, more’n that, we each had big bows on each ov our shoulders, with great long streamers flyin’ from ’em, and more bows all ther way down ther front ov us, with bands around our arms and slappin’ great big bows with more streamers at our knees. Wull, now, we had done et up to the queen’s taste, I must confess. And that wasn’t all; thar was a black plume on each hoss’s head, and a slash- in’ bow on ther tail ov each animile, with more streamers a-flyin’ to ther breeze. We had set out ter be chief mourners, and we meant ter be that or nothin’. And yet, thar wur our own townsmen gatherin’ around us and laffin’ like vhey wur a herd of jackasses. “Yer pear ter feel good,” sneered Bob at ’em. “What do yer see, anyhow?” I scorned at ’em. “That is jest what we’d, by gosh, like ter know,” answered one ov ther gang. “Wull, I'll tell ye,” I shot out, speak- in’ plenty strong; but before I could do so, You-bet chipped in and allowed he would tell ’em. I allowed he wouldn’t. would, or nobody. He scorned ’em plenty hearty, I tell ye. I had et in mind ter knock off his mournin’ hat, but thinkin’ jest in time that such a proceedin’ would spile all ther fun, I didn’t. Bob thought ov ther same thing at ther same time, so we desisted, and he allowed that I might do ther tellin’ if I thought I could do it sufficient hard enough fer ther occasion. I allowed I could, and sailed in. “Feller cits,’ said I, full scathin’, “ ef ye had any respect fer ther dead and hon- or fer yer camp, ye wouldn’t have ter ask what this is about. We are goin’ to ther funeral oy ther late lamented Gunsight John, over to Sawbuck City, and we mean ter uphold ther dignity ov Cross Crick.” “You are a pair of blame fool jack- asses,” snorted one old cit, whose gray hairs I respected, or he would ’a’ bit the dust then and there. ‘“ You will go over thar to Sawbuck City, and you will dis- grace a respectable funeral, and you'll bring yer own camp into disrepute among ther nations ov ther earth; that’s ee sum an’ substance ov what you'll 0.”’ “That is where you make your mis- take, uncle,” I blockaded. ‘‘ We are goin’ over thar to do honor to ther dead, and to weld ther bond of friendship that is already buddin’ forth between these hyer two camps. We mean ter show ’em that we have a feller feelin’ fer ’em in this their sad hour ov distress, ez et wur, and we are goin’ ter play ther role ov chief mcurners—or know ther reason why. Ef they are men, they will welcome us hearty,” That old feller allowed they would, too, plenty; and after a little more pa- laver, we sot out. He opined he CHAPTER III. MAKIN’ OUR DAYBOO. When we hove in sight ov ‘Sawbuck Cie we sould pee at Set first bh bh eis Pitas aM as + vw i ’ . : * ¥ - . be , he oa ek Oem 1€ les 1 Ther mines wur closed down, and ther hull poppylashun wur kongregated nigh about ther center ov ther camp, near ther Gilt Edge saloon. This we tuck in ther minnit that we riz over ther last ridge, and as we looked on ther scene et hit me that somethin’ was loose about ther program ov ther day. “ Somethin’s amiss,” I opined to Bob. “Tt looks so,” he opined back. “What kin et be?” “Give et up,’ said Bob, back again. “ Mebby they aire short uv black stuff,”* I hinted. “Mebby enough,” countered Bob. “Couldn’t ’a’ had any defunct Hanner Simpsonses hyer.” “These hyer one-hoss camps have got ter chawk long ter keep pace with Cross Crick, now J’m tellin’ ye,’ I orated. “We'll soon know what’s wrong.” We rode on down ther slope to ther gulch, ther drapery from our tall hats wavin’ out behind like black banners, I opine, and ther streamers from our hosses’ tails all a-flutter. About ther time we got to ther bot- tom ther galoots ov Sawbuck sighted us comin’, and they p’inted us out to one another mighty rapid. We could see that they wur plum dazed with amaze. No wonder. That wur what we had come fer—to parrylize ’em. We don’t mean ter ‘low no camp hyer- abouts to rank ahead ov Cross Crick, you kin rely. In about one mighty minnit ther hull blame camp wur starin’ at us as if they had never seen ther likes before in their lives. Mebby they hain’t. “We hev knocked ’em, Cy,” said Bob. ‘“That’s what we by gosh have,” L agreed with him. “And we'll astonish ’em more, ther day is done, too,” said he, “ Bt will be our fault ef we don’t, Bob,” I supported. “ That is what we hev come fer, I opine.” “ Bt shur is,” said Bob. We rode on, and as we drew nigh we sot our hosses to prancin’. Ef we wasn’t plum gorjus I would like to know et, that’s all, with our tall hats and many bedeckin’s. Natcherly, as we drawed nigh unto them, we looked ter see how much black stuff they wur a-sportin’ among ’em, and daze me if we could find but one emblem in ther hull gang. That was worn by Gila Gabe, like a sash across his body and with long ends hangin’ at his left hip. We soon diskivered that he was actin’ mayor, but, seein’ us he looked rankled and rattled. “ Hello, citerzens!”’ I greeted ‘em, “Who in fumergashun be you?” growled out Gila Gabe. “We cornstitute a déliyeashunt sent over from Cross Crick to do honor to yer dead,” said I, loomin’ up big. “Ther climated clime ye do!” said he, scowlin’. “Shur,” my perd put in. “- Prezack, ” IT added. “We have come ter mingle our weeps with your’n, and take ther part ov chief mourners, if need be. +B Gila Gabe looked as if he didn’t right- ly know how tq receive us. He ’peared fore ter be sorter stuck—or mebby et was our. plum gorjus array that struck him dumb. We wur keepin’ our hosses a-prancin’” some and our pipmee a-noddin’ fer ae effeck, mn er. aha : ; "* @ ee + rte 7: iT mater beg Maps = we _ comicbooks.com =," ae