Beadle's Half Dime Library No. 1064 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

t all ‘ular out ; col- ome late; ote} ally ein, was Ow- rr -—- =. a Pup, jest hearken ter what J has got ter say o ‘you know that you are in a respectable house where no disturbance will be permitted.” The tough-looking stranger put his bat back from his face, straddled his legs and jammed his fists upon his hips again, staring at the speaker in an amazed sort of way. ‘** Be you done, mister?” he asked, when Tur- gee had finished. ** Yes; I am done, fended, if you look at it right. given you the rules of the house.” “Waal, may I be eternally chawed!” the ragged stranger cried, ‘I calls this byar durn onkind of yer, I does, It’s a purty recep- tion ter give a galoot what comes inter yer curn old shebang fer ther fu’st time—comes in as peaceful as ary kitten, too. You mought ’a’ waited till I had un ter kick up a fuss, an’ then gone fer me. Lead o’ that, what does yor do but jump onto me with both feet, right off ter wunst. I tells yer it war rough on a fel- ler, an’ I leave it to ther gang if it wasn’t,” “Tt is the rule of the house, sir, to give fair and timely warning to such as you,” spoke up Richmond Danewood. * An’ who mought you be?” the hard-looking stranger demanded, ‘‘T am proprietor of this house,” was the an- swer, “ That’s ther lay of ther land, be it? Waal, now, Mister P’prietor an’ Mister P’prietor’s There’s no need to be of- I have merely ther p’int onder consideration, if yer please: mf name is Benjamin Bumstock, it are, an’ 1’m called Bad-man Ben fer short, When it comes ter firing out, what yer speaks of doin’, let me warn yer thet you’l) find me rooted an’ braced if yer tries it on, an’ that ther chances is ther ir of yer will go out fu’st. D’yer bear what m stutterin’? Notthat I’m goin’ ter make any fuss, mind yer, but you warned me an’1I warns you. Them’s my say-so.” The attention of the crowd was upon the stranger, and his odd remarks brought a laugh, causing Mr, Turgee to turn very red. “Very well,” spoke Danewood; ‘no need to say any more about it, if you are inclined to be orderly.” He turned immediately to his business at the desk, motioning to Turgee to say no more to the man, ‘“‘Yas, that’s ther style of a he-boss critter Bad-mapn Ben are,” the terrible specimen ob- served to the crowd, seeing that there was no further call for his attentions in the direction of the proprietor and his man, ‘** Gen- tle as a kitten most of ther time, yet I gits right up onto my hind legs and howls when thar is oecasion fer it, When Iam trod on, then I’m oin’ ter show my claws, every time, you bet! hey calis me Bad-man, and mighty bad I am, too, in a scrimmage. Why, when I Jet myself loose yer can’t see nothin’ but dust around, with now an’ then a tuft o’ ba’r a-flyin’. An’ when ther smoke o’ battle clears off a bit, thar Iam as onruffled as ary zephyr, while ther bull scene round about looks as if a devastatin’ cyclone bad n that way.” ** You must be somethin’ of a terror,” remarked ard-pan Smith. Nothin’ of ther sort, sir, onless I’m sot on,” ® stranger declared, ‘‘ Jest now, when that feller jumped onto me so, ladmit that my first row of bristles did sort o’ stiffen up in a fighty way, but now all is serene again, an’ I’m as irmless as ary leetle kitten, As { remarked at fu’st, I reckons ter opine thet ther school are in, ter jedge by ther size of ther class. What's ther excitement, boyees? What’s on ther carpet fer ther evening? If thar’s any fun around, count mein. I’m a ree’lar he-boss fer fun, lam, and don’t yer fergit that. Why, I’m ther fun- niest critter on hind legs, when yer bit me in ? ther right way, an’ I’m rigged out wi’ two funny: bes ter every j’int in me hull kerkiss— Ello! rst me heyes, what ’ave we ere?” topping short in what he was saying, he end- With that decidedly cockney observation, staring in the direction of the door in the rear, Lord Brandt Comingway and his man Jones a st entered the room from supper, and at 18, Stopped and stared at the stranger. less me soul!” the bummer cried. rushing anata with outstretched hand, i ager pts i caw ham to Aad begin to bexpress ‘ow g The Britisher stepped back abashed, almost retake hart upon the corns of his buttoned statue mediately behind him, and waving the bum- mer off with both bands, hurriedly cried out, in half alarm as it seemed. Hi Pawdon, sir, but Hi ’aven’t the pleas- pre of your hacquaintance, hand Hicawn’t shake with you, don’t you know.” “BS . ly to His Buttons, Dandy Dick Decoyed. ee ee ee ————— - ——— i= & ‘* Bless yer honest British heart,” cried the | Tbat leetle exercise sort 0’ sets me bloud in mo-- bummer, grabbing a band in spite of him and shaking it vigorously, ‘* that don’t make no dif- ference, not a bit! I kin greet you like a brother jest the same. How’s everything at bome? How’s Her Jags, the queen? Did she ask after me when yer kem away?” The Englishman, very red and very much dis- tressed, trying hard to disengage bis band, stammered out: ‘““Hi— Hi hasks to ’ave me ‘and, sir! Hi ham hinsulted! *’Ow dare yout take such liberty witb ha gentleman, sir!” ‘* Lord love yer,” cried the bard-looking cus- tomer, ‘‘ don’t yer know that this is ther land o’ tiberty? You is in ther land of ther free and ther bome of ther brave, me lud. Ever hear o’ Bunker Hill?” **'Y— yes, Hi’ave ’eard hof hit, sir;” was the response, ‘* Hi believe me countrymen won ha battle there some years hago. Did you hever ‘Year hof that? But, me ‘and sir; me ’and. Leave go hof me ’and, Hi command you!” ‘* Waal, yas, I believe that was the way of it, come ter think,” Bad-man Ben had to acknow]l- edge, “if hist’ry don’t lie,an’ I don’t reckon it do. But, it don’t make much difference who got ther battle, so long as we have got ther hill. Thar’s yer ’and, me !ud, an’ I guess you'll find it all in good order yet,” With that, and dropping the Britisher’s hand, the bard-looking fellow uttered a coarse laugh. ‘* Hi demand satisfaction for such ba hinsult, sir!” the Englishman now cried, as he fondled his nearly crusbed fingers, ‘* Hi demand, Jand- lord, that you punish this bhinsolent fellab for the liberty ’e ’as taken with me.” Both Danewood and Turgee were now on hand, with dark Jooks for the tramp. The chances seemed to be that he would be runout with a rush. ** Hold on, now, hold on!” Mr. Bad-man cried, waving them back. ‘‘I don’t want no row, gentlemen, an’if yer makes one it will be yer own fault. Only a little imnocent fun, yer know, what won’t harm nobody. Don’t yer tetch me, or thar will be a ragin’ cyclone let Joose in hyar what yer will wish yer had never stirre ' up.” ‘*But we can’t have anything of this sort go- ing on!” argued Danewood. ‘* His Lordship is a guest of the house, you see, and we must see to it that he is not molested. Now you must leave him alone and say no more to him, that’s all, so mind it,” ‘** But, durn it, be demands satisfaction,” cried Bad-man. ‘* What am I goin’ ter do about that ? Did you ever hear of John Bull’s demandin’ sat- isfaction of a Yankee an’ not gettin’ it? Lopines | ————s ’ sir,” sternly declared Danewood, tion.” “You'll try nothing more of the sort here, ** At him, Turgee, and we’l! pitch bim out, neck and beels! Such a scene is a disgrace to our house, We'll have no more of it, my scarecrow. Out you go!’ The bummer backed away and tried to pro- test, declaring that be would reduce the whole shebang to matchwood if they interfered with him, but that did not stay their hands, They laid hold upon him, both together, and ran him to the door and out. ‘We'll show you that you can’t do as you please here, you rascal!” cried the proprietor, giving him a parting kick. ‘‘If you come back here again we'll give you something that you will remember. We’il show you that this is nc place for ruffianly rows, such as you seemed de- termined to bring about, Now git!” After all his boasting, the fellow bad not made: much of a show of resistance, He allowed him- self to be run out without great effort, and whem he went off the piazza, he took a beader into the dust and dirt of the street. ‘¢ That’s what I call durn rough ona stranger,” he complained, as he gathered bimself up and looked back woefully. ‘‘ What did yer doit fer,, anyhow? Can’t a feller bave a Jeetle fun in this hyar camp. *thout somebody has got ter spile it fer bim? You kin thank yer star of good luck that I ain’t mad, or that durn bar-room would ’a’ been cleaned out so quick it would’a’ made yer heads swim, an’ that’s what I'm tellin’ ye. Give my partin’ love to ther Britisher, anyhow, an’ tell him ter member me to ther queen, if be gets home alive.” See that you don’t come in here again, that’s: all,” was the angry retort. And witbit the two started to turn back into the house, As they turned, something caught their atten— tion and caused them to stop and look again. A queer looking customer, whether man or woman, was approaching from up the.valley. It was a person mounted upon a small burro, peculiar and outlandish in manner of dress, to- gether with about as much of a load as the ani- mal was able to navigate under and keep to the trail. It was a unique spectacle, ‘* What in the nameof the moon can that be?” cried Dauewood, “T give it up,” responded Turgee. ‘“‘It looks like a wandering Jew—or Jewess, for I}l be hanged if I can tell whether it’s man or woman.” és No, nor I.” Turgee hastened into the house, to look after things, while Danewood remained on the piazza ter reckon not. How will yer have it, me lud?. gazing at the approaching mystery. Hyar I be, all ready fer business, yer see,” ** Jones!” and the British dude turned sudden- ‘““Hi want you to take this rude fellah by the nose for me,” Jones made a seeming effort to turn pale, and his eyes flew open to their widest extent, His knees smote together, and his jaw dropped; Did bis master really want bim to commit suicide in this way? ‘* But, m’lord,” he gasped. “*Hi— Hi—” **Didn’t you ear what Hi said?” the Britisher snapped, Bad-man Ben was laughing ready to kill him- self at such a proposition. The flunky stepped forward, timidly, and actually reached for the bummer’s nose, but with his eyes shut and with his left arm up to protect his face from an expected cuff. ‘“‘Haw, haw, baw!” roared Bad-man. “Is this byar ther way yvo~ take yer satisf-ction, me lud? Why, you little runt, if vou was ter pull my nose,” to the flunky, ‘‘I’d jest most everlastin’ly snatch you out o’ them ’ar buttons, an’ don’t ye fergit it.” Even that did not deter the flunky from the attempt. ‘“‘His Lordship” bad ordered, and it | must be done if he got killed for it. Seeing that he really meant it, Bad-man Ben reached out, caught hold of the fellow in but- tons, and the next instant had stood him on his head, And, not only so, but applied his band vigorously upon that portion of his person where a schoolmaster usually applies the birch to un- ruly pupils, CHAPTER XVI. NOTING NEW ARRIVALS, It was all done so quickly that no one had time to interfere, seemingly. But no one had a thought of interfering, save the proprietor and manager of the hotel, ‘* Thar ye are, me Jud!” cried Bad-man, as he let his victim drop. ‘‘[f that don’t satisfy yer, say ther word an’ Ill try ther same on you, | ease ee ae + ee CL CC OO OEY OE et It wasquite likely that Turgee said sometbing- when he entered, about the approach of the queer-looking traveler, for the crowd hastened out. those who badn’t already done so. Even Bad-man Ben forgot all about the tak- ing down he bad received, and gazed at the ap-— proaching personage wonderingly. “This hyar takes ther cake, duro me if it don’t!” te cricd. “*‘Hang me fer a monkey if ther burro ain’t ther smallest thing in ther bulb outfit.” ‘TY agree with yer thar,” cried Hard-pan Smith. ‘It’s a woman, boyees, sure as yer is. born. But, what kind fer a critter sbe are, hang me if I can tell at this range.” ‘‘T reckons ter opine thet she would look like death on a pale hoss, if ther burro critter war only white,” commented Bad-man Ben, “She looks old enough ter be ther mother-in-law of old What’s-his-name.” The strange personage was approaching at snail’s pace, and by this time the crowd was fired with curiosity. Everybody came out of the hs"-room, even to- the Britisber and his man, and Turgee appeared at the door. The woman—for woman it was—came on, and stopped in front of the piazza. She proved to be a hide-us-looking hag, She was clad in dark garments all patched and darned, yet bedecked with flashy gewgaws, Her skin was very dark, full of lines, and daubed here and there with Bright spots of paint. on the face, Packed with her on the burro was what seemed to be a folded tent. Besides that there was a stool], a small three-legged table, and other light articles. It was about as much of a load as the animal was able to bear up under and get along. But the burro is a wonderful beast, ae Gypsy witch!” exclaimed Richmond Dane-— w ‘That's what she be. fer a dollar,” averred Hard-pan Smith, Having stopped, she spoke sharply to the: (@] 0