Authentic Science Fiction Monthly No. 72 — page 62: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SO LOVELY, SO LOST “Before you die,” I said softly, “chow would you like one final kill?” The Zarl raised its muzzle and stared. Then it grinned. I had to look away. _ “The human,” it said. ““The male. You hate him.” “Veés.7? “You will remove the drugged meat?” “Yes,” I said. It brooded unwinkingly. ‘““Done,”’ it said. I remember that night. Lisa was so beautiful it hurt to look at her. She was fire and quicksilver, her song was sunlight and carnival, and April rain. I loved her so much I wanted to cry. I remember how we stood in the wings before that last scene, and the way she Squeezed my hand and whis- pered: ‘“‘Midge, I’ve _ been such a fool. I’m going to divorce Paul.” I could not breathe. “I don’t love him, not really.” Her eyes were brim- ming. “I found out this after- noon what he really was. Quick, darling, there’s your cue. Hurry.” 61 “Divorce him,” I said stupidly. “You're onstage. I'll tell you all about it later.” I stumbled onstage. I wanted to scream at Paul, to warn him. I wanted to run to the Zarl’s cage and bolt it tightly, but I am an Actor and I had no real choice. Midge the clown. Now singing, turn- ing handsprings with the other clowns, juggling, dancing on the high wire. But the music was an ancient Danse Maca- bre, the song was a leaden dirge. It had been so un- necessary! Only a blind fool would have realised that Lisa’s infatuation for Paul was but a temporary thing. She loved me. She would always love me. Fool, fool and murderer! And now too late. For Paul and Lisa were standing in the centre ring singing their final duet while the Zarl crouched in its cage as the cage door opened and the Zarl roared. The clowns scattered in mock panic. Lisa screamed. It was all part of the act; the Zarl was supposed to lumber from its cage in a drugged stupor. It would lunge feebly connicloooks.com