Authentic Science Fiction Monthly, No. 67 — page 102: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TAILOR MADE I’m happy to say, too ex- pensive.”’ He leaned back and smiled at her. Sarah felt that she had to say something. “Thank you, but is all this really necessary ?”’ He blinked. “All?” “Yes.”” She tightened her lips and remembered that, as she was a customer, therefore she must be in the right. “I ‘understood that you would introduce me to prospective husbands and .. .”’ She broke off at his expression of horror. ““My dear Miss Good! Surely you must be joking?” He regained his composure. “In the early days of our existence I will admit that such procedure was the prime function of the Bureau, but times change, Miss Good. Progress comes to us all and, I’m proud to say, we have made full use of science and advanced technology to im- prove our service to the utmost.” “TI understand that,’ she snapped pettishly. ““But you’re not answering my question.” “Indeed, I am,”’ he insisted. *“Now, in the early days, long before the Demat transmitter enabled us to colonise the stars, all we could do was, as you point out, to introduce persons who had a mutual 101 need for a soul-mate.” He coughed delicately in apology for having touched on a questionable subject. “Even then we did our best to ensure a good match. Psy- chological tests, aptitude tests, you’d be surprised at the trouble we took.” He sighed. “Even at that it must have been very unsatisfying in the old days. Purely a hit or miss speculation. Why, though you may not believe this, our records show that some customers were on the books for as long as a whole year before being suited.” He smiled. “Nothing like that can happen today, of course. We guarantee success.” “How?” ““Now there you have it.” He leaned forward again, glancing, possibly by accident, at her credit rating. ““Now we have dispensed entirely with the hit or miss technique. Now we can positively guarantee to make you an extremely at- tractive woman.” He smiled again; he had good teeth. “After all, isn’t that what you want?” It was true, of course, that was what she wanted, but a lifetime of learning the hard way that she was possessed only of negative attraction coniicloooks.com