Astounding Science Fiction (UK Edition) — page 59: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE IRON STANDARD “and you'll marry Jorust and rule the planet,” Munn finished. “Ha!” “Not exactly,” Thirkell went on imper- turbably. “If they’re not grateful, we'll simply hold out on the antitoxin till they pay up.” “The only thing wrong with that brain- storm is that the Venusians don’t seem to be suffering from a plague,” Mike Soaring Eagle pointed out. “Otherwise it’s perfect.” Thirkell sighed. “I was afraid you’d men- tion that. Maybe we could be unethical— just a little, you know—and start a plague. Typhoid or something.” “What a man!” the Navaho said admir- ingly. “You'd make a grand murderer, Steve.” “I have often thought so. But I didn’t intend to go as far as murder. A painful, incapacitating disease—” “Such as?” Munn asked. “Diphtheria?” the murderous physician suggested hopefully. “A cheerful prospect,” Mike Soaring Eagle muttered. “You sound like an Apache.” “Diphtheria, beriberi, leprosy, bubonic plague,” Pat Bronson said violently. “I vote for all of ’em. Give the nasty little frogs a taste of their own medicine. Wallop ’em good.” “Suppose we let you start a mild plague,” Munn said. “Something that couldn’t con- ceivably be fatal—how would you go about it?” “Pollute the water supply or something Sa. Ce “What with?” Thirkell suddenly looked heartbroken. “Oh! Oh!” Munn nodded. “The Goodwill isn't stocked for that sort of thing. We’re germ- less. Antiseptic inside and out. Have you forgotten the physical treatment they gave us before we left?” Bronson cursed. “Never will I forget that —a hypo every hour! Antitoxins, shots, ultraviolet X rays, till my bones turned green.” “Exactly,” Munn said. “We’re practically germiess. It’s a precaution they had to take, to prevent our starting a plague on Venus.” “But we want to start a plague,” Thirkell said plaintively. “You couldn’t even give a Venusian a head cold,” Munn told him. “So that’s out. What about Venusian anesthetics? Are they as good as ours?” “Better,” the physician admitted. “Not that they need them, except for the children. ‘57 The synapses are funny. They’ve mastered self-hypnosis so they can block pain when it’s necessary.” “Sulfa drugs?” “T’ve thought of that. They’ve got those, too.” ‘““My idea,” Bronson broke in, “is water power. Or dams. Whenever it rains, there’s a flood.” “There’s good drainage, though, ” Munn said. “The canals take care of that.” “Now let me finish! Those fish-skinned so-and-sos have hydro-power, but it isn’t efficient. There’s so much fast water all over the place that they build plants wherever it seems best—thousands of them—and half the time they’re useless, when the rains con- centrate on another district. Half of the plants are inoperable all the time. Which costs money. If they’d build dams, they’d have a steady source of power without the terrific overhead.” “It’s a thought,’ Munn acknowledged. Mike Soaring Eagle said, “I'll stick to my crossbreeds in the hydroponic gardens. I can raise beef-steak-mushrooms to taste of Worcestershire sauce or something. An ap- peal to the palate, you know—” “Fair enough. Steve?” Thirkell rumpled his hair. “Tl think of an angle. Don’t rush me.’ Munn looked at Underhill. “Any flashes of intellect, chum?” : The youngster grimaced. “Not just now. All I can think of is manipulating the stock market.” “Without money?” “That’s the trouble.” Munn nodded. “Well, my own idea is advertising. As a physicist, it’s in my line.” “How?” Bronson wanted to know. “Demonstrating atom-smashing? A strong- man act?” “Pipe down. Advertising isn’t known on Venus, though commerce is. That’s funny. I should think the retailers would jump at the chance.” “They’ve got radio commercials.” “Stylized and ritualistic. Their televisors are ready-made for splash advertising. A visual blurb .. . yeah. Trick gadgets I could make to demonstrate the products. Why not?” “J think Ill build an X-ray machine,” Thirkell said suddenly, “if you'll help me, skipper.” Munn said sure. “We've got the equip- ment—and the blueprints. Tomorrow we'll start. It must be pretty late.” comiclooks.c©