Astounding Science Fiction (UK Edition) — page 54: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

52 “Sorry,” said the voice. “I just took a swat at that dratted fly. It lighted on you. Anyway, I missed it. Wait a minute until I turn the switch and let the darn thing out. You want out, too?” 7 Suddenly the buzzing stopped. Shorty said, “Listen, I... I’m too darn curious to want out of here until I got some idea what I’m getting out from, I mean, out of. F guess I must be crazy, but—” “No, you re normal. It’s we who are crazy. Anyway, that’s what they say. Well, listen- ing to that guy talk about dinosaurs bores me; I’d just as soon talk to you as listen to him. But you had no business getting in here, either you or that fly, see? There was a slip-up in the apparatus. [Tl tell Napoleon—” ot “Who?” “Napoleon. He’s the boss in this province. Napoleons are bosses in some of the others, too. You see a lot of us think we're Na- poleon, but not me. It’s a common delusion. Anyway, the Napoleon I mean is the one in Donnybrook.” “Donnybrook? asylum?” “Of course, where else would anyone be who thought he was Napoleon? I ask you.” Isn’t that an_ insane Shorty McCabe closed his eyes and found that didn’t do any good because it was dark anyway and he couldn’t see even with them open. He said to himself, “I got to keep on asking questions until I get something that makes sense or /’m going crazy. Maybe I am crazy; maybe this is what it’s like to be crazy. But if I am, am I still sitting in Pro- fessor Dolohan’s class, or .. . or what?” He opened his eyes and asked, “Look, let’s see if we can get at this from a different angle. Where are you?” } “‘Me? Oh, I’m in Donnybrook, too. Nor- mally, I mean. All of us in this province are, except a few that are still on the out- side, see? Just now”—suddenly his voice sounded embarrassed—“I’m in a padded cell.” “And,” asked Shorty fearfully, “is . . is this it? I mean, am 7 in a padded cell, too?” “Of course not. You’re sane. Listen, I’ve got no business to talk these things over with you. There’s a sharp line drawn, you know. It was just because something went wrong with the apparatus.” Shorty wanted to ask, “What apparatus?” but he had a hunch that if he did the answer would open up seven or eight new questions. _ ASTOUNDING SCIENCE-FICTION Maybe if he stuck to one point until he’ understood that one, he could begin to understand some of the others. He said, “Let’s get back to Napoleon, You say there is more than one Napoleon among you? .How can that be? There can’t be two of the same thing.” The voice chuckled. “That’s all you know. That’s what proves you're normal. That’s normal reasoning; it’s right, of course. But these guys who think they are Napoleon are crazy, so it doesn’t apply. Why can’t a hundred men each be Napoleon, if they’re too crazy to know that they can’t?” “Well,” said Shorty, “even if Napoleon wasn’t dead, at least ninety-nine of them would have to be wrong, wouldn’t they? That’s logic.” “That’s what’s wrong with it here,” said the voice. “I keep telling you we’re crazy.” “We? You mean that I’m—” “No, no, no, no, no. By ‘we’ I mean us, myself and the others, not you. That’s why you got no business being here at all, see?” “No,” said Shorty. Strangely, he felt com- pletely unafraid now. He knew that he must be asleep dreaming this, but he didn’t think he was. But he was as sure as he was sure of anything that he wasn't crazy. The voice he was talking to said he wasn’t; and that - voice certainly seemed to be an authority on the subject. A hundred Napoleons! He said, “This is fun. I want to find out as much as I can before I wake up. Who are you; what’s your name? Mine’s Shorty.” “Moderately glad to know you, Shorty. You normals bore me usually, but you seem a bit better than most. I’d rather not give you the name they call me at Donnybrook, though; I wouldn’t want you to come there visiting or anything. Just call me Dopey.” “You mean...uh... the Seven Dwarfs? You think you’re one of—” ; “Oh, no, not at all. I’m not a paranoiac; none of my delusions, as you would call them, concern identity. It’s just the nick- name they know me by here. Just like they call you Shorty, see? Never mind my other name.” Shorty said, “What are your. . delusions?” “I’m an inventor, what they call a nut inventor. I think I invent machines, for one thing. This is one of them.” “This is— You mean that I’m in a time machine? Well, yes, that would account for . uh... a thing or two. But, listen, if comiclooks (©