Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 164: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

: -< there Miss Tremaine was to go to New York for ten weeks of Keith time, while the other two turns journeyed to the State- Lake in Chicago. In the division of labor connected with their business. it was Kunkel’s duty to pur- chase transportation and attend to the bag- gage, while Kinkel looked after the orches- tra rehearsals. So on Sunday morning at Toronto Kun- kel bought the tickets for Buffalo and checked the trunks. He was seated in the waiting room, talking to Bili MacNutt, at 9 aDpDca when his partner entered with Miss Tre- maine. “Lookit,” whispered Bill hoarsely. He's carryin’ her grip.” In the theatrical world, carrying a lady’s hand-baggage is as much a badge of servi- tude as Fido’s collar. “Ow are you this morning?” said Miss Tremaine sweetly. “G'mornin’,” responded Kunkel stiffly. “ S'pose your hotel trunk goes to Maloney’s, Kinkel?” Maloney's was a Buffalo boarding house favored by vaudevillians of economical {astes. * Naw, it don’t,” said Kinkel. * Send it to the Statler.” On the trip to Buffalo Kinkel sat in the ladies’ car with Miss Tremaine, while Kun- kel rode in the smoker with Bill MacNutt. “To think of him floppin’ for a dame after all these years,” said Kunkel. -I never knew a man yet that didnt get landed sooner or later,” observed Bill sagely. “ You ain’t never safe till your hands is folded an’ the lid’s nailed on.” ‘- Well, I'd give a hundred dollars if some- body would push that she body-snatcher off the bridge when we’re crossin’ the Niagara river,”’ declared the worried comedian. Kunkel was nearly made-up for the Mon- day matinée when Kinkel came in. For many vears Kinkel had worn a five-carat diamond tie-pin. It was a beautiful stone, and worth twenty-five hundred dollars. It was Kinkel’s most cherished possession. To-day it was not in his tie. < Say, Bill, he said, ~ “7 ain't wonderin’ a-tall plied Bill. ‘1 was with hi m thi when he took it to the jewelry sto gonna have it set in platinum, an’ giv Tremaine. It won't be ready til afte matinée Saturday. Looks to me like it gonna be an engagement ring.” _ “ The dern fool is crazy,” groaned Kun kel. ‘“ What’s he want to go an’ get mixed up with a old hen thats had half a dozen husbands already? I wisht I knew some way to wake him up before it’s too late.” “Jt sure is gonna make a bum outa your act,” said Bul. ~ If I knowed any way to help you out, Id do it. That woman’s a regular octypuss.’ That night MacNutt hailed Kunkel as he was coming off the stage. and mysteri- ously drew him into a corner. “J gotta grand idea doped out,” he said. ‘ It’ll either be a hummer or a bust; but I think it'll go through. If it does, Kinkel 1] save the diamond an’ lose the jane. Are you game to chance a hundred on itaa “What’s this glorious idea?” inquired Kunkel. ‘I can’t tell you,” said Bill. ~ You just gotta take a chance. I ain't gonna make a cent on it.” ‘* All right,” said Kunkel recklessly. Go ahead an’ shoot.” The subjugation of Kinkel was complete. As a lover he made Ronieo look like a piker- His expenditures for food, candy and fiowers fairly appalled his partner. “‘ He’s gone clean off his nut.” he wailed to Bill. “In thirty years I never seen him — let go a dollar before unless he had to.” “Aw, they're all that way when they — he's over this, hell be tighter than eve Yeh,” said Kunkel. * But is he ev goin’ to get over it?” B * You wait an’ see,” comi