The Argosy for May — page 181: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

368 impress his new guests with his startling idiosyncrasies. We made their acquaintance on the front porch. The young man took ad- vantage of an opportunity to take me aside and whisper in my ear. ‘Say, old man,” he said anxiously, ‘what kind of a ranch is this, anyway? I don’t believe I like the fetlow who runs it at all.” “You'll like him still less when you’ve been here a few days,” I retorted gtimly. ‘I don’t intend to stay here a few days,” he answered with a frown. ‘ My wife and I are on our honeymoon. We~ can’t afford anything very swell; and when we saw his advertisement we thought it would suit us perfectly. ‘We intended to stay here for three weeks ; but that farmer’s manner doesn’t suit me at. all. He’s already got my wife frightened almost out of her wits. We've got to stay over night, I guess. It is too late to find another boarding- house; but we shall certainly leave the first thing to-morrow morning.” , “Maybe you'll stay here longer than you think,” I said gently. “Oh, no, we won't,” he answered in- nocently. “I don’t like the looks of the place at all—and, besides, there are mosquitoes here. One bit me on the nose just now. My wife and I can’t stand mosquitoes. We shall leave right after breakfast to-morrow morning.’ I did not have the heart to impart to him the cruel truth. He would find it out soon enough, I reflected. ‘“Come here and give me a hand lift- ing this trunk up to your room,” Farmer Snookins commanded him sternly. “Do nothing of the sort, Percival,” exclaimed the young man’s bride indig- nantly. ‘The idea of his asking such a thing of you! We did not come here to work. If he needs help with the trunk, let him get one of the farm- hands.” Farmer Snookins did not make any answer to this mutinous outburst. He merely pursed his lips, and gave vent to a shrill whistle. I knew from bitter experience what that meant. The six ferocious boar- hounds came bounding onto the porch. They encircled the young couple with savage growls. THE ARGOSY. ‘“Now,” said the farmer, ‘‘are you going to give me a hand, or are you not? ”’ The young man assisted him in lifting the trunk up-stairs. It cannot be truth- fully said that he did so cheerfully; but he certainly went about the task with plenty of alacrity. The newly wed couple did not carry. out their intention of leaving Shady Bower Farm next morning for a more congenial place. Very much against their wills, of course, they started in to spend their honeymoon by doing chores for Farmer Snookins. The young husband chopped wood, and made himself generally useful; his bride assisted Miss Meredith with the kitchen work. : ‘It’s a darned outrage,” the young man confided to me, when we had a chance to exchange a few words*without being overheard. “It doesn’t seem pos- sible that such a state of affairs could exist in these days; and less than a hun- dred miles from New York City. We really ought not to submit to it. We ought to stand together, and assert our independence.” ‘Perhaps we ought,” I replied, “ but I don’t think those dogs would receive a declaration of independence from us very graciously. I guess you'd better keep on chopping wood, and say nothing for the present.” The young husband volunteered the suggestion that it would be a good idea to poison the dogs. We all heartily agreed with him that 4 it would be an excellent idea; but we were sadly handicapped in its execution by the lamentable fact that we -were quite unable to procure the necessary poison. I proposed making an attempt to get away while the. dogs were asleep; but Miss Meredith assured us that the brutes never slept with more than one eye closed; and, besides, as she pointed out, Farmer Snookins always locked all the doors at night and took away the keys. During the day the dogs never let’ us out of their sight. I was a prisoner for a whole week before I hit upon what really seemed. like a feasible plan of effecting our es- cape. DOOLK (C@