The Argosy for May — page 174: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

And, in addition, the cheapness of the board was an important considera- tion. Most of the other advertisements quoted prices far above my means. Seven dollars a week was really very reasonable, especially when rowing, bathing, and boating were thrown in gratis. So I decided upon Shady Bower Farm. I wrote a letter to the proprietor, ask- ing for further particulars, and stating that I was a young man whose health was somewhat impaired, and who was looking for a nice, quiet, healthy spot in the mountains in which to recuperate. I received a reply almost immediately. It was written in lead-pencil on ruled paper, and this fact pleased me im- mensely. It is a pet theory of mine that the character of people can be judged by their correspondence. Surely, a man who used a pencil in- stead of pen and ink, and ruled paper instead of a more pretentious letter- head, must be a simple, unsophisticated, all-right sort of fellow, I argued. ‘The favorable mental picture of the proprie- tor of Shady Bower Farm which I had already formed was heightened by the receipt of this letter. It read as follows: DEAR FRIEND: I got your note and was very glad to hear from you. If you decide to come, I am sure I can make you comfortable and give you a good time. My farm is really a very beautiful place. Folks do tell me that it is the prettiest spot in all the Catskills. I reckon they are jollying me some; but come and see for yourself. Write me when you expect to arrive, and I will meet the train with my rig. Yours respectfully, FARMER HIRAM SNOOKINS. I liked the way that letter began. “Dear Friend”! How delightfully cordial and unconventional it sounded! Surely, a fellow who hailed you as a friend before hé had seen your face would simply exude hospitality when you were actually his guest. I was cautious, however. _I wrote an- other letter to Farmer Snookins, asking’ him if he was quite sure that his place was healthy and restful. AN ENTICING PROSPECT. 361 In response I got another penciled epistle, as follows: Healthy! Why, we haven't even got a graveyard around these parts. Five years ago a doctor located ten miles from this place. He thought he was go- ing to make a comfortable living, I reckon. He is now an inmate of our county poorhouse. JI mention this to show you that we ain’t got no use for a physician around here.. We don’t even need a horse-doctor. Our live stock never ails. The pure mountain air keeps them healthy. As for bein’ restful, my dear friend, let me assure you that Shady Bower Farm can’t be beat in that respect, though I do say it myself. This is the place where Rip Van Winkle fell into his long = sleep. It wasn't no magic liquor which caused Rip to’ doze off. It was the restful at- mosphere of Meritville, Greene County. I guess I can’t say no more. When can I expect you? This sounded encouraging. As a matter of fact, it sounded just a little too encouraging to suit me. In accordance with my _physician’s advice, I was seeking a quiet place; but I didn’t want one that was too quiet. I am young and romantically in- clined, and my vacation plans included the summer girl. What was the use of free rowing, bathing, and fishing unless there were pretty girls to row, bathe, and fish with? Unless Farmer Snookins’s place was enlivened by the presence of the sum- mer girl, I decided that, whatever its other natural advantages, Shady Bower Farm was not the place for me. So I sent him a telegram, inquiring: Are there any pretty girls stopping with you? He replied by letter, as follows: Pretty gals? Say, my dear fellow, ve got a score of them on my farm. The young lady who won the beauty- prize, recently offered by a New York newspaper, is at present one of my boarders. The others run her pretty close, though, when it comes to looks. They’re the prettiest lot of gals I’ve ever seed in all my life. Come and take your pick of them. I’ve told them that MICLOOOKS (CO)