Argosy, September 1955 — page 116: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ii4 JOHN WYNDHAM morning, trying to pretend that there was nothing unusual afoot, while we waited for the Inspector to come and issue his certificate so that we could admit that Petra had been born, and give her a name. But the Inspector took his time. He had had a row with my father, and was taking the chance to get a bit of his own back. Father hung about the house and yard, now and then explod- ing with bad temper over trivial things, so that everybody kept out of his way as much as possible. Everything was held up because the word ‘‘ baby ”’ couldn’t even be mentioned or hinted at until the Inspector had issued his certificate declaring it to be a true and normal human being—if he could not do that, he would take it away with him, and everybody would pretend that nothing had happened; just as we were pretending now that Mother was in bed with a cold. My elder sister, Alice, tried to cover up her anxiety by loudly bossing the household girls. I felt compelled to hang about so that I*should not miss the announcement that the baby was all right. My father kept on prowling. The proprieties of the occasion would not even let him say aloud what he thought of the Inspector— which was perhaps as well, for such tardiness in coming to visit a household of our standing was little less than a studied insult. What made it worse was that on the last two similar occasions the Inspector had not given a certificate; and everybody was well aware of that unmentionable fact. It was not until mid afternoon that the Inspector ambled up on his pony, and my father went out to receive him with a politeness which must almost have strangled him. Even then, the Inspector was not brisk. He dismounted in a leisurely fashion and pottered into the house, talking about the weather. Father, red in the face, handed him over to Alice, who took him along to Mother’s room. Then there was the worst wait of all. Alice said that he- hummed and ha’ed for an unconscionable time while he examined the baby in minutest detail. At length, however, he emerged. In the living-room he sat down and fussed about for a time, getting a good point on his quill. At last he took a form from his pouch and in a slow, deliberate hand wrote that he officially found the child to be a true female human being, free from any detectable form of deviation, After signing and dating it he handed it to my enraged father with a faint air of uncertainty. He had, of course, no real doubt in his mind, or he would have called in another opinion; my father was per- fectly well aware of that, too. Only then could Petra’s existence be admitted. I was officially informed that I had a new sister, and taken to see her as she lay in her crib beside my mother’s bed. She looked so pink and wrinkled to me that I didn’t see how the Inspector could possibly have been quite sure; however, there was nothing obviously wrong with her, like having extra fingers and toes comiclooks.ceonn