The Argosy — page 309: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

290 ‘4 BETSY AND I ARE OUT. DRAW up the papers, lawyer, and make them good and stout ; Things at home are cross-ways, and Betsy and I are out. We who have worked together so long as man and wife, Must pull in single harness the rest of our natural life. | “ What is the matter?” say you. Ah well, that’s hard to tell! | Most of the years behind us have passed by fairly well ; | I’ve loved no other woman—she no other man, | But it seems we’ve lived together as long as we eVer can. | So I have talked with Betsy, and Betsy has talked with me, And we have told each other we can never more agree. Not that we charge on the other any terrible crime ; But for years has this been gathering, a little at a time. To begin with, there was temper : we both had that for a start— Though we never had suspected ’twould rend us two apart ; I had my various failings, bred in both heart and life ; And Betsy, like all quick women, was somewhat given to strife. The first thing I remember on which we disagreed Was something concerning Heaven—a difference in our creed. We argued the thing at breakfast—we argued the thing at tea, And the more we argued the question, the less did we agree. And the next that I remember was when we lost a cow; She had died quite unexpectedly—the question was only—How ? I held to my own opinion, and Betsy another had ; And when we had done disputing, we both felt rather mad. And the next fall-out that came, it was started in a joke; But full a week it lasted, and we neither of us spoke. And the next was when I scolded because she broke a bowl ; And she said I was mean and stingy, and could not have any soul. And that china bowl kept bringing dissensions in our cup ; And that poor old cow was always on each side coming up; And the Heaven we argued so much about no nearer to us got, But it gave us a taste of something that surely of Heaven was zo#. And so the thing kept working, lawyer, and always the self-same way; Always something to argue, and something sharp to say : And in would come the neighbours, a contending army strong, And lend their kindest service to urge each side along. | | | | And there have been days together—and many a weary week, | When both of us were angry, and both too proud to speak : And I’ve been thinking and thinking, the whole of the Spring and Fall, If we can’t live kindly together, why, better not live at all. Gomichbooks. com