Argosy, Vol. 1 (1882) — page 274: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FETTERED BY FREEDOM. shadows of her new life, sadly needing the guiding hand that she had so vio- lently thrown aside. Then suddenly she thought that she had discovered the secret of her fatl- ures, and she came to me in a state ot elation. “Mother, dear, the whole fault is with me. I am only partially devel- oped. Ali my life it seems to me that I have been either married or engaged to be married. I was much too young to be either. I have never had a chance to mature. I am going to make up for lost time and.begin my education all over again.” She engaged a music teacher, took up one or two languages, and went into china painting. For a week or so she was very busy, very happy. She even complained that Amy and I came too often and interrupted her prog- ress. Then her interest flagged. She asked Amy to finish her course in Ger- man and Italian, and said that the smell of mineral colors made her ill. Her professor of music became before long an object of terror. “It is perfectly frightful, the way Herr Stelsau goes on,” she said indig- nantly. “I fairly tremble when I sit at the piano. Sometimes he doesn't say a word, but sits there looking aw- ful. Scolding isn’t half so bad. I for- get to practice—I forget everything but Polly, little torment that she is! Lately when I have not got my lesson I ask to be excused, and have a bottle of beer sent to him, and as I don’t hear him breaking furniture, I suppose my delicate little attention appeases his wrath.” | So the long winter wore away, Amy and I ever standing ready to reach out our arms to Elsa whenever she wanted the shelter of our love. But she was proud and bravely played out the part which she had assumed, although each day made it more tragic. When the spring came she said, “ [’'m tired of housekeeping. It is hor- 265 rible to have to do the same thing day after day and to see forever the same stupid faces of your butler and cook and upper maid and nurse, and to be eternally asked the same questions. I will go away with you and Amy to some new place, some place of which I have never heard. Don’t consult me; I leave it entirely to you. Engage the rooms, buy the railroad tickets, and take me off as if I were your child again; 1 am tired of thinking for my- self. Percy would never let me think for myself. He was so self willed, so bent upon having his own way, that it was no use.” she was very busy, very merry, while the trunks were being packed and the final preparations made for our depart- ure. “ Packing is such an easy matter since I have not Percy to think of,” she commented, hovering over a big trunk. “ He had so many things be- sides mere wearing apparel that had to be considered when we went away. There were his guns and his shooting outfit and his fishing tackle, and he was always in such a fume. We never could agree just how things should be packed, and he was as likely to put a dirty game bag or a greasy cartridge belt among, my laces or bonnets as not.” She sighed heavily, and then, catch- ing the dolorous sound of her sigh, ran off to show me a new gown that had just been sent home. We had not been at the seashore two weeks before Elsa had exhausted her new surroundings. The eager childish delight which she had at first shown in the sea, the hotel, the people, died out completely. She looked tired and sad. Amy and I could not stand that look; we were always fighting against it. “ Mother,” Amy said, “ Elsa is very beautiful. It fairly makes one catch one’s breath just to look at her. The red of her lips, the cream of her skin, the darkness of her eyes strike me COMMGHIOOKSHEOKn