Argosy All-Story Weekly — 'The Metal Monster' — page 155: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TINY, THE TERRIBLE TURK. “You look bad, Andy, and you certainly need a rest; and besides, if you don’t mind my saying 30, feeling they way you are, you're naturally sort of peevish and gloomy, and I'll tell you. frankly that I’m not look- ing forward with a whole lot of pleasure to having you hanging round all summer— you ain’t good company. So you just take a good long rest and leave it all to me. I'll let you know when we’re ready for the final workouts, and when you come back I hope you'll be feeling better—I certainly do!” That’s what Aleck said, and I fell for it. I went up into Maine and went fishing #most every day for six weeks or so, and I’m pretty sure that one day I had a bite, but I wouldn’t swear to it. It might have been weeds. Then a telegram came from Aleck, saying they were putting on the last re- hearsals right away, and I cangnt the first train for the front. And as I say, after seeing a rehearsal of Aleck’s “ Moulin Rouge Revue,” somehow I couldn’t seem to work up a whole lot of enthusiasm about it. I didn’t know, but I was pretty sure that “ The Girls of the Moulin Rouge Revue ” wasn’t going to set the provinces of fire. Seemed to me there were several things the matter with it— about thirty, I think I said. “ Well, Andy,” Aleck asked me, after the affair was over, “ what do you think? How does it shape up to you?” Now, of course, I didn’t want to say anything to injure Aleck’s feelings, not seri- ously, anyhow. It was plain to be seen that Aleck took a whole lot of pride in his work, and all that, and so—well, I thought maybe it would be better if I sort of let Aleck down easy, by degrees, instead of telling hins-what I thought about that show all at once. If I did that, if I came right out and told Aleck frankly what my opin- ion was—no, I guessed I’d better not. Id let Aleck know what I thought later on, little by little. Of course, even that way, there was bound to be more or less unpleas- antness; but there wasn’t any use having it all at once. So I said: “Not so bad, Aleck. Not so bad. In fact, I thmk I can remember seeing worse. But the title, now. Seems to me the title 145 is open to criticism. Now, if I had any- thing to do with picking out the title—” ‘“What’s the matter with it?” asked Aleck. “I picked that tithe myself and I thought it was a bird—and I think'so right now. What’s the matter with it?” “Qh, nothing much,” I said. “ And, anyhow, you needn’t get sore about it. If you want to have me, I'll admit that it’s a whale of a title, no matter if you did choose it yourself—except for three things.” ‘What are they?” asked Aleck. - “Wd,” I told him, “in the first place it’s too long.” “Tt is kinda Tong, that’s right,” Aleck admitted. ‘ But you see—” “And in the second place,” I said, “I ain’t sure, but I’m pretty sure that those words Moulin Rouge have been used be- fore. I wouldn’t say so for a fact, but that’s what I think anyhow. Anyway, those words Moulin Rouge sound sort of familiar to me, and I wouldn’t be. surprised if we were laying ourselves open to 2 suit for breach of copyright or something. But IT suppose—”’ “Say,” said Aleck, “‘ maybe you think choosing a title in a cinch! It took me somewheres around three weeks to dig up that Moulin Rouge stuff, and now you come along and claim it ain’t original. Who said it was original? The point is, it’s got the right sound, though you can search me what it means, and if—” ‘‘ And in the third place,” I said, “ there’s one word that ought to be chang ‘What word is that?” asked Aleck. ‘The word ‘ Girls,’ ” I said. “Oh,” exclaimed Aleck. ‘ What would you suggest changing it to?” “ Grandmothers,” I told hm frankly, And then, what with one word leading to another, as sometimies happens, I wouldn’t be surprised if I said a good deal more than I'd intended to.” Anyhow, before I got through I guess I certainly called the turn on Aleck’s ladies of the ensemble. I told him just what I thought of ’em, and it wasn’t complimen- tary. And some of the remarks I made weren’t complimentary to Aleck, either. ‘If I remember right I told him that he’d .better take my advice and cut out night- COM CLDOOL co ww