Argosy All-Story Weekly — 'The Metal Monster' — page 133: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TEACH: PIRATE ‘DE LUXE. had casualties here and there among the fools who thought they ought to fight. As a point of fact, if you search-the records of the early seventeen hundreds, you will find my much-maligned great-grandfather didn’t invariably murder superfluous prisoners. He sold them as slaves to the plantations, ‘and that thirsty soul, the Governor of North Carolina, was his partner in the mat- ter. They used to divide a matter of one hundred and thirty pounds per head for them. ‘ Well, I recognize the slave-trade’s not what it was, Mr. McGregor, so you may have the beauties for a tenner apiece all round. Possibly some of them have rela- tives who’d buy them in at that figure. You never can tell, these days, who people value. “ As you are a Cigar-smoker, try one of these. We looted them off a Cuban boat. I believe you'll find them rather decent.” “ Over ninety per cent sound in wind and limb, admiral? That’s mighty good hearing. The next question is, Where are they, and where are their ships?” ‘“ Ah, where!” replied Teach, and relit his big black pipe and lay back on the chart-house settee. “You don’t help me much,” said Gregor McGregor rather plaintively. “You strike me,” said the pirate dryly, ‘“‘ as coming of a race that helps itself pretty efficiently. Further, you’re mighty slow in coming to the point. In case you’re under any illusion about the sacredness of ambas- sadors, let me assure you that if I don’t find yeu useful, you won't go home. You'll hang here—quietly of course, and quite decorously; but none the less assuredly and efficiently.” | “ Civilized peoples don’t hang ambassa- dors.”’ Teach rubbed the bowl of his pipe against the side of his predatory nose, and admired its surface. “Quite so. You’ve been at pains to as- sure me that I am outside the pale of civi- lized peoples. Now I don’t want to hurry you, but if you’ve nothing more useful to say, I will arrange for your stringing up within the next three minutes. My gunner, Mr. William Pickles, sees to these little 127 ceremonies for me. He assures me they are quite painless.” Mr. Gregor McGregor’s hands ached to expostulate, but he thrust them resolutely down into the depths of his trousers- pockets. ‘If you'll pardon my saying so, admiral, you're yielding to the old-fashioned senti- ment of the profession and neglecting its modern business side. As a guarantee of good faith, I have one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in good United States gold over there on the plane.” “Divided up among all hands on the shares we’ve agreed upon, my whack out of that would about buy me a suit of clothes. We've not exactly a pirate’s union on board here, Mr. McGregor, but I can tell you the labor conditions take a lot of handling, and the business profits for the -capitalists—and that’s me—are mighty slim. As a commander, I have nothing like the soft time my great-grandfather had of it.” ‘* And that,” said the Scot with decision, “is entirely because so far you have not -had the luck to come across me—and, of course, the Cryptol Syndicate. We are business men; we saw your need, and we stepped in to fill it. “There you have the whole argument. Of course, there will be difficulties. You ‘have a ship and cargo—many ships and many cargoes, I gather—that you want to realize on. Take a typical one—the Edith Rickards, say. You value ship and cargo, we'll put it, at £200,000. And forty of a surviving crew at £10 apiece, that’s £200,400. ‘* Well, we won’t quibble about the crew. But it’s quite on the cards we may dispute your valuation of the Edith. Now, the Cryptol Syndicate are reasonable business people, and we’d concede a lot to avoid friction. Can you suggest an arbitrator in case of dispute? It’s hardly a matter one could bring before the courts.”’ _ Teach’s big jaw jutted out and his black eyes glinted. “ Yes,” he said, “ I'll tell you who will be the arbitrator. A man called Edward Teach. You will discover that no- body within range will persist in any ob-— Jections to his findings.” COLM Goo co ww