The Argosy — page 58: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

48 On Board the “‘ Batavia.” ‘¢ But I suppose we shall do it?” ‘6 Depends on the traffic, sir.” The consequence of this gratuitous alarm was to induce a constant urging of the fiery, untamed steed upon which our fate now depended. This of course also raised a feverish commotion in our bosoms, which Dickens has well and wisely called “an unnecessary wear and tear of the nervous system.” When we reached Liverpool Street we had twenty minutes to spare : and we felt that the head porter of the Métropole was hence- forth our deadly enemy. There was a good deal of stir and bustle at Liverpool Street Station. At the Confusion of Tongues, when the Tower of Babel came to grief, everyone called for his sack. At Liverpool Street this morning everyone seemed to be calling for his lost baggage and to be wildly hunting for it: finding it at last in the hands of a dreamy porter, and receiving the usual exasperating formula: “I was looking for you, sir!” In other words, they were having a game at hide and seek. The ordinary Englishman is undoubtedly a curious mixture of contradictions. Phlegmatic under the usual conditions of every-day life, he grows agitated and impulsive when the eyes of the world are upon him, when calmness is most needed and would be most likely to bring him to his desired end. The special train was at length packed, bag and baggage. Ap- parently, nothing was left behind. No last passenger was seen wildly rushing down the platform. No frantic or flying umbrellas any- where. Away we went. ‘‘ Good-bye to England for the present, and thank goodness!” cried Mauleverer, as he sank back amongst the soft cushions of his seat: and 1 extinguished myself in the opposite corner. “I think that Métropole porter ought to be docked of his gold lace and brass buttons for giving to ourselves an unnecessary chase and to cabby a double fare.” ‘My dear Mauleverer, he was no doubt right in the main,” I returned sententiously. ‘‘ We came through the City, for a wonder, without obstruction. You must have noticed that on these occasions the chief thoroughfare is generally up ; or your horse goes down ; or two omnibuses have ‘collided’ in front of you, and you are forced into an extra round of two miles to get out of their way and get back into your own.” ‘‘ At any rate, all’s well that ends well,” laughed Mauleverer. “If these clouds will only clear and blue skies smile upon us, our happi- ness will be complete. The longest lane has a turning, and it cannot rain for ever.” We were going down Channel, through the Bay, and down the Mediterranean for the sake of the sea voyage and its bracing properties. Mauleverer, who leads a lazy life and does nothing but kill time with pleasure from January to December, knows nothing of conniclooolkks CO