The Argosy, June 1904 — page 87: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE WIDOW AND THE AGENT. banisters. guitily.- “Oh, that’s all right!” called the good-natured lady from above, “ I could see your appetite was as sharp as a razor when you first clapped eye on that pack- age—try a pickle with it,” and she de- scended creakingly to a seat at his side. “Tf Vd had my covered basket and some red napkins with me, 1 could have made it look a lot tastier, but the boarding-house woman hadn't anything better than brown paper to offer. Oh, thanks! Ain’t that real nice of you-— silk, too!” The little agent had drawn a beauti- fully folded silk muffler from his breast pocket and laid it elegantly across Mrs. Ifisby’s alpaca lap. She smoothed it out with one of her plump hands, and the agent felt a sudden im- pulse to smooth the plump hand in turn. . “Now, I call this real cozv!” said Mrs. Fisby as her sharp white teeth bisected a sardine. “The ham you're eating come from one of the last hams I took down from the smoke-house pre- vious to selling my place up in the country. Me and Mr. F. used to get away with more of those hams to the winter! ” “It’s very delicious,” mumbled the agent. Mrs. Fisby speared another sardine with her hat-pin and resumed utter- ance. “ Well, I haven’t told you vet that Ill take the house on the spot and pay my first month’s rent now. Sixty-five dol- lars seems an awful lot to pay—it won’t hurt your feelings for me to say so since you say you ain’t responsible for the price set. Any way, I can pay it casy, for Mr. F’s life insurance money comes in regular, and [ can get most all I put in back out of those rooms. “T shan’t take any women to be for- ever wanting to use the kitchen and plastering wet handkerchiefs all over the windows—no, sir! I want men. I’m more used to ’em, and I kind of know their ways and what they like. I’m go- ing to fix the back parlor for my room, and just make that whole up-stairs look homelike and tasty for six or eight He chewed rapidly and {9 PRODUCED BY UNZ.ORG COonmniclooao® o¢3 helpless men that ought to have homes of their own. “Me and Mr. F. got this all planned out before he passed away. He was a real thoughtful man. I declare, you do remind me of him in your manners. “She gave the muffler, on which her repast was spread another little pat, and the agent, to his horror, felt himself blushing crimson. The luncheon demolished, Mrs. Fisby carefully collected the crumbs in the extemporized lunch-cloth and laid it in a corner of the stairs. “It’s got a little bit greasy, so [ll wash it up, and you can stop and get it sometime—or ask your wife to call for it,” she said, with a bewitching smile. The agent swallowed and essayed to speak, but thought better of it and said nothing. Mrs. Fisby counted out six tens from a roll of bills. “You count ’em too, please,” she said, handing “Mental arithmetic ain’t my strong point, and me and Mr. F. always did this way—first I counted, then he went over it to see that there wasn’t any- body going to get cheated!” “ Tt’s quite correct, ’m sure, without going over it,’ murmured the agent gallantly, as he put the bills in his pocket and handed Mrs. I'isby the keys of the house. His business with the lady was evi- dently over for the time being, but now that she had given up walking him to death, he found himself strangely loath to relinguish her society. He went slowly over to the parlor mantel and took down his hat. A happy thought came to Mrs. Fisby, and she innocently picked up a candy box that had more recently contained hard-boiled eggs. “You might take this to your wife,” she said sweetly; “it'd be sort of handy to keep hair-pins in.” “TJ—I haven’t any wife, thank you,” stammered the agent. “Well, if that don’t beat all!” laughed Mrs. Fisby. “A nice looking man like you, and getting bald at tad |” The agent blushed and became de- cidedly uneasy. “Perhaps you haven’t ever been in them to the agent. - S C@ ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED