The Argosy, Volume XLIV — page 260: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

256 “We found,” continued Mr. Scales, emphasizing his points with his fore- finger on the palm of his hand, “ that a clever little woman had bought a brand of tobacco of excellent quality for about a third of its value. So we de- eided, Butterworth and I, that we would make hay while the sun shone, and this morning we each invested in fifteen hundred Upper Ten cigars— a wonderful saving in money it is—and quite a lot of our friends bought them, too. We owe it all to you, Mary. Don’t vou feel proud?” “Oh, my! Oh, my!” wailed Mrs. Seales. “And I only meant it for a joke.” “A joke?” Mr. Scales’ jaw dropped, and he sat down opposite his wecping wife and regarded her in consternation. ‘A joke? What on earth do you mean ? Where’s the joke? ” “There isn’t any, George. Not the way it’s turned out. All that money wasted.” “ Will you kindly explain yourself? ” demanded Mr. Scales, much exasper- ated. “'Thosé weren’t Upper Ten cigars you smoked last night, George.” “Not Upper Tens?” cried Mr. Seales in great excitement. “ What were they, then?” “ Cagliostros,” replied Mrs. Scales in a still, small voice, “and they cost twenty dollars for a hundred.” There was a long and painful silence, which gave Mr. Scales ample time to realize the extent of the calamity. “Go on,” he said at last in a rasping voice. “ Let’s hear the whole of this precious joke.” Thus adjured, Mrs. Scales began, and zz, AN ARAB THE ARGOSY. with many comments, exculpatory of her own actions and denunciatory of her husband’s deceitfulness, laid bare the whole plot, generously shielding her accomplice. “Well, of all the Mr. Scales was beginning when she had brought her recital to a conclusion, but was in- terrupted in his reproaches by the en- trance of a servant. “ A gentleman to speak to you at the telephone, sir,” she said. With a muttered execration Mr. Scales went out, and presently his wife heard him maintaining one end of a highly animated conversation. “Blame fool yourself for not spot- ting the brand,” she heard him say ex- citedly as he rang off. She looked at him questioningly when he returned. “It was Butterworth,” he said in dis- mal tones. “He had just opened one of the boxes.” Mrs. Scales watched her husband as he sat, staring hopelessly at the carpet, and then the humor of the situation suddenly struck her, and she broke out in peal after peal of laughter. “Oh, George,” she cried, “if you could only see yourself. It is—is really too funny. I didn’t see it at first, but it is a joke, after all.” Mr. Scales sprang up and stood re- garding his laughing spouse with every mark of disfavor. “Fifty-four dollars and six of my best friends gone,” he said; “and you can laugh. Well, all I’ve got to say is that women have a very strange sense of humor.” And he went out, banging the door hard behind him. I3 PROVERB. THE man who knows not that he knows not aught— He is a fool; no light shall ever reach him. Who knows he knows not, and would fain be taught— He is but simple ; take thou him and teach him. But who so, knowing, knows not that he knows— He is asleep ; go thou to him and wake him. The truly wise both knows, and knows he knows— Cleave thou to him, and nevermore forsake him. GOI OOoO SS (COL