Argosy All-Story Weekly, April 18, 1925 — page 89: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOFT ** Well, may I ask the charge? You see I am traveling with him. In fact I am his —he is my secretary.” “Oh, indeed. Well, he has been annoy- ing ladies on board and when I called him to one side to warn him to behave himself he became so insulting that I was com- pelled to have him punished. We must preserve discipline on board.” “ Certainly, sir. He would not have in- sulted you, but he is suffering from a rag- ing toothache that makes him wild. I am sure he will apologize to you. And as for insulting ladies, don’t you think that may be an exaggeration ?”’ “Not at all, I had it from an unim- peachable source.” ‘““McGarry is a countryman, captain. I don’t think he meant to insult any lady. But out where he comes from everybody speaks to everybody else, and he might have said something in a perfectly innocent man- ner that a lady from Boston, for example, would think was an attempt to pick her up. You know most people think the con- ventions are off on board ship.” The captain pondered. ‘‘ Perhaps I was a bit hasty. You probably need the man’s services, too, if he is your secretary. Now I tell you what Ill do. You have him apologize to me and to the lady in question and I’ll restore him the privileges of the ship so long as he behaves himself.” “Why, that is wonderful of you, cap- tain. I’ve always heard that British sea- men were the most generous and fair-mind- ed in the world, and now I know it. I thank you a thousand times.” ‘“‘ Not at all, sir,” said the skipper, beam- ing all over. ‘‘ It’s been a pleasure to meet you, sir. You are a type of American that does your country credit. Come up to my room some evening and we'll have a drink and a chat.” They shook hands and separated, mutual- ly pleased. Howard might have his faults, ‘ but he knew how to approach people. Elated at having settled matters so satis- factorily and so easily, he hastened to the stateroom to break the good news to Rod. He found his friend stretched full length in his bunk, his head buried in his arms. “It’s all right, old socks,” he proclaimed. MONEY. 239 “ Little Howard Fix-it has been on the job again. I’ve secured your pardon and your liberty, and I’m waiting for the applause.” Rod looked at him somberly. ‘ How did you find out about it?” he asked. “ Why, it’s all over the ship. Mary and I overheard some people talking about it.” “Then what’s the use of getting me out of here. I’m still imprisoned on this ship. Everybody who sees me will say ‘ There’s the man who was locked up for insulting women.’ My God, what has that girl done to me?”’ ‘A damn dirty trick, if you ask me. Mary Norman was furious. She went after her to bawl her out while I tackled the captain. You should have seen me smooth down the fur on the old boy. He’s in- vited me to his cabin for a drink. All you have to do is apologize to him for the way you talked and apologize to Miss Thomas.”’ “Thank you very much. I prefer to re- main in jail,” said Rod quietly. “Aw, come on, that’s no way to talk.” “ The captain insulted and humiliated me without excuse. Why, he should apologize to me. And Miss Thomas is not entitled to any excuses from me. I never did any- thing to her. On the contrary I saved her from breaking her neck as she was falling down the stairs near the social hall about ten minutes before she had me reported to the captain.” “You don’t mean it! I told Mary some- thing must have happened after she left us on deck. Say, old man, you didn’t squeeze her too tight when you caught her? Some of these Boston girls don’t want their lives saved unless it’s done with perfect respect for the conventions,” “T simply set her on her feet and walked away. I didn’t pause to ask whether she was hurt. What’s the matter with that girl? She’s actually persecuting me.” ““She’s sure got one terrible disposition,” sighed Howard. Lovely and rich as Ger- trude was, she began to repel the merry mercenary. ‘ Imagine getting you pinched for rescuing her. I suppose she considered it a third flirtation. Still what’s the harm in writing her a little note expressing regrets and sending another to the old puffball of a skipper. Kid ’em along, say I.” COMUCIOOLS (E@)