Argosy All-Story Weekly, April 18, 1925 — page 165: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DELIRIUM TRIMMINGS. eight thirty that morning as usual, and when I went out about an hour later I left a note for him, telling him I was going to be married at ten o’clock. That’s all I told him. I fully intended mentioning who it was I was to marry, but in my excitement I left out that unimportant detail, and never thought of it at all until afterward. “T knew he wouldn’t get the note until he came home at noon, so I left it where he’d see it and off I went merrily in my coupé—you know the coupé—”’ “Yes,” grinned Larry. ‘“ Yes, I know.” ‘Well, how it happened I can’t imagine, but w/o should get wind of the wedding and come tearing in to break it up but Purker’s wife! It seems he had one, not divorced or anything, though of course he had never given me any inkling of her existence. He was standing there, showing me the ring— the proceedings weren’t to start for a couple of minutes—and I had it on my finger, see- ing if it would fit, when she came in. She screeched something about ‘He can’t marry you, he’s my husband, he belongs to me,’ and waved a marriage license in a gilt frame, and I shall never forget the expres- sion of Parker’s face as long as I live! I was hilarous over that, and furious at him, and grateful to his wife—yes, and sorry for her too—and relieved and glad for myself, all at once. I didn’t say anything at all. I walked out and got into my car and drove away. ‘“T didn’t know where I was driving, I had so much to think about. I just drove and drove, and finally I realized I was ’way out in the country and that a man in a big roadster—here’s where you come in!—had been sticking right close to me for some time. I had a crazy notion you might be a detective, or a newspaper reporter, want- ing me to tell the story about Parker. So I started to try to get away from you, if I could. And then—what happened then, anyway? Did your steering-gear break?’’ “I don’t think so,” said Larry. ‘ Did yours?” He felt better now, inexplicably better, light of heart. “T don’t know what did happen. Any- way, when it was over and I came to, I found myself here in this hospital, feeling all blooey, with the pain and shock and 315 everything. Dad was there, and by-and-by he remarked consolingly that my husband was all right. I said, ‘Why I haven’t got any husband, have I?’ and he said, ‘ Yes dear, of course, don’t you remember the note you left me?’ I said I remembered the note, but that I didn’t do it after all, and he said I must have, because a friend of his had seen me going into the justice of the peace’s office with a dark-haired man, and a dark-haired man was with me in my coupé when we went over, and here I was with a platinum wedding-ring on my finger. “T couldn’t argue about it then very well, being too befuddled to know for sure just what was what, and the next time he came in he told me all the things you had said when he first saw you, about your car smashing into mine. He thought it was a joke, because there wasn’t any other car anywhere around, he said. And he just thought you were delirious. I said, ‘ He was not delirious, he was telling the truth! He did have another car, and I never saw him before.’ And dad took one wild look at me, and another at that wedding ring of Parker’s and decided I was delirious too, and wouldn’t pay the slightest attention.” * T understand now about the roadster,” Larry said. ‘“‘ When I started for that farm- house it was leaning there against a tree. [ thought it was probably wrecked, too, but apparently it wasn’t because somebody got it off there somehow and ran away with it. I’ve just had a notification that the police recovered it a few days later, up neéar Ogunquit, Maine. Knew it was mine by the license. But never mind that—go on with your story. I take it you haven’t yet suc- ceeded in convincing your father, since he continues to hail me as a member of the family.” Ann laughed, a little shame-facedly. “Tm afraid I’m going to have a hard time explaining to you from now on,” she said. ‘As a matter of fact, I haven’t really tried to convince him since then.” Larry looked his bewilderment, speech- lessly. “You see ”—Ann’s voice held a note of appeal—‘‘ you see, they found out who you were here at the hospital, of course, the day we were brought in. And dad is simply COPMICLOOOKS (E©)