Argosy All-Story Weekly, October 6, 1923 — page 94: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

876 was a long point, bayonet-shaped, ground to a needle-prick of sharpness. Hitch Diamond, six feet four inches tall, black as coal-tar, with shoulders like a pair of walking beams and legs like the columns of a temple, a face battered and scarred from many bloody fistic battles where men fought with naked fists on the wharf-boats of the Mississippi, stood at attention with this mighty weapon of ancient warfare gripped in his giant paw. The antiquarian would have seen in him the perfect pattern of the Carthaginian warriors that Hannibal led to the Alps and who made affrighted Rome cower behind the protecting shelter of her walls and pray to all the gods they knew. ‘Gran’ exalted presidunt,’ Pap Curtain said, and in his snarly voice there was a note of plaintive humility, “‘ times is hard an’ I is poor. My two dollars lays upon dat table an’ I begged from house to house an’ axed all my white frien’s to loant me whut dey could affode because I needs new clothes so bad. I ax de pertection of de Head Chopper.” “Amen! So mought it be!” of voices resounded in the room. ‘¢ Head Chopper, advamce an’ receive yo’ ordahs!”’ Vinegar Atts bawled. Hitch Diamond advanced and stood close beside the president’s chair and within a foot of where Jim Golly sat. He let the ax-helve slip downward through his hand until the weapon stuck upon its bayonet point in the floor within an inch of Jim Golly’s foot. There the dreadful weapon stood alone, upright, quivering like a thing alive. Jim Golly performed certain physi- cal contortions suggesting to an observer that he was trying to put his imperiled foot in his pants’ pocket. Vinegar Atts turned impressively to Jim Golly and intoned these words: “ Brudder Jim Golly, you has beseeched de funds of de members of dis lodge fer a great an’ noble puppus. Each an’ eve’y one of us is gib our little bit to dat cause. But you is not one of our lodge brudders, an’ we aint never seed yo’ favor or yo’ face befo’. Us don’t trust nobody like dat, an’ so I app’ints de gran’ official Head Chop- per of dis lodge to be yo’ gyardeen, as A chorus ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY, long as our money remains in yo’ hands, an’ ontil our lodge suits is duly delivered unto us.” ‘“* Amen! answered. , ‘““T don’t se how dat kin be,” Jim Golly protested, showing the whites of his little piggish eyes and trembling with nervous- ness. ‘“ You see, I got to send dis money away—” ‘““ Restrain yo’ conversation, brudder,”’ Vinegar Atts admonished him. “ Us will instruck you in yo’ duties atter while! ”’ Then turning to Hitch Diamond, Vinegar intoned: “ Exalted Head Chopper, I charges you to gyard de funds of dis lodge as a sacred trust. Us is poor an’ cain’t affode to lose our dollars. You is now de official gyar- deen of dis here Jim Golly, an’ ef you lets him escape away, yo’ life shall be fer his life!” “Not on yo’ life!” Hitch Diamond rumbled, glaring at the little fat tailor’s agent as if longing for the glorious privilege of decapitating him, while Golly cowered before him with a fear that made his teeth rattle in his head. Then Vinegar turned to Golly and said: ‘* Brudder Jim Golly, dis here money will be kep’ in trust by de Head Chopper ontwell you is ready to send it off. De Chopper will den go wid you to de bank an’ he’p you send it to de fellers whut makes our suits.” ‘“ Dat suits me,” Jim responded feebly, which it veritably did not; but there was nothing else to say. ‘“ While de Head Chopper attends you, I advices you to walk in de straight an’ narrer path,” Vinegar concluded. ‘De lodge am now adjourned!” So mought it be!” the lodge iil. THE next morning, Jim Golly entered the Hen-scratch saloon and sat down at a little table. Since his experience the night before, he had a creepy feeling and could not avoid taking furtive glances about him as if expectingsa monstrous black to emerge from nowhere and chop his head off. Skeeter Butts, proprietor of the little COMmiclooe (©