Argosy, Vol. 119, No. 2 — page 84: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

234 ‘THE ARGOSY. with bells and everything; and so when we got the news, I’ll say the wife was a mighty sore woman—and, for that matter, I didn’t go rushing round the streets giving any three long cheers for everybody and every- thing, myself. But compared to the wife, I was a happy man. She ced took it hard. The first we knew about it was when we read it in the papers: the well-known base- ball magnate, Alonzo J. Brown, announced that George A. Simmons, whe had been managing a team in the International, would pilot the Pink Sox the coming sea- son. And Mr. Brown also announced that Jim VanNess, the veteran Pink Sox south- paw, would be the club’s official coach, working with the young pitchers, and so on. Official coach! And he hadn’t even asked me if I’d accept the position! Well, no doubt he wanted to save himself the trou- ble of handing me a lot of alibis for mak- ing this fellow George A Simmons man- ager and throwing me down; and he knew I’d accept the position, anyway. What else could I do? And so that was what Alonzo meant when he said I’d be taken care of. He’d had that official coach thing up his sleeve all the time. He hadn’t con- sidered me for the manager job for one lit- tle minute! Well, at that, I guessed I didn’t have any kick coming. Suppose I’d been let out entirely? That’s the way I looked at it. But Ina ——but I’ve told you how it struck her. “Simmons!” she hissed. ‘‘ Who is he, anyway? Did you ever hear of him, Jim?” “T never did,” J says. ‘‘ He’s one on me.’ ‘“'Thene will you tell me why,” she de- manded; ‘“ will you tell me wky Mr. Brown _ throws down a man like you and goes to work and gives the job to somebody no- body ever heard of—a bush-leaguer like this man Simmons?” Ina can talk quite a little baseball talk herself. ‘You can search me,” I says. “ But there must be something or—”’ “Yes,” snapped Ina. ‘“ There must. = something—and I’m going to find out what it is!” This was shortly after the first of the year; and it wasn’t until the last of July that Ina found out what it was—the rea- son why I had been turned down. And, though I didn’t know what the reason was myself, it’s a kind of curious thing, but it’s the truth: she got the answer from me. i You know, the wife and I own our ewn bungalow. Well, one morning Ina says to me: “Well, jim, have you made up your mind about the new heating system?” The old heater was pretty well burned out, and we were going to put in a new one of some kind. “No,” I says, “I haven’t. Some ways Steam looks best to me, and then again there’s a lot of pretty good arguments for hot air. Then there’s this one-pipe sys- tem, too. And—well, I can’t seem to quite make up my mind.” Well,” says Ina, ‘I wish you’d hurry up and decide one way or another. Pretty soon the fall rush ‘Il come on, and the plumbers will all be busy, and we may have to go through the winter with the old one—and you know it uses twice too much con”. ‘“ Yes,” I says.’ ‘I know. I'll see if I can’t make a decision one way or another pretty soon.” “IT wish you would,’ says the wife. “And how about the car? Are you going to sell it and buy a new one, like you were talking of the other day, or—what?” ‘T haven’t made up my mind,” I says. “ The old boat’s in pretty good shape yet, and what with prices the way they are nowadays—well, I don’t know. Sometimes J think I will, and then I think J won't. Dll see.’ ‘ says Ina, ‘ a better not take too much time about it. If you wait too long it Il be coming along winter and you won’t be able to get anywhere near what the car is worth. And listen, Jim. Did you order that new suit of clothes, like I asked you to?” “No,” says I, “I didn’t. You see, I can’t make up my mind whether to get a blue serge or one of these Palm Beach out- fits. The Palm Beach things are fine for hot weather, but I’d probably get more ser- JOO ‘@) =) (E(0) Eom m