Argosy, Vol. 117, No. 3 — page 44: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oo4 ‘ All alike, an’ y’r no better ’n the rest.” “All right, then; I'll see y’ after the show, an’ we'll talk business,” arranged the manager, forsaking his original tactics. ‘‘ Dinner?” queried Polly. ‘‘ "Cause I got another John waitin’ that’s a sure-fire meal- ticket.” “Aw, yeh, I s’pose so,” grudgingly as- sented Max, and turned to shout an imperi- ous reprimand to another girl: ‘‘ Here, you red-head, stand up! Don’t y’ know they’s a rule ’gainst sittin’ down in tights!” That night over a dinner that Polly’s lay- - ish ordering made an expensive thorn in Max’s canny side was born Juno, the Per- fect Woman. Not without further and ineffectual ef- forts to obtain her for his own incestuous ends, Max unfolded to Polly his scheme that was shrewdly contrived to satisfy both their selfish desires and to impress the own- ers of the show with the value of the new manager. When he had determined that Polly of- fered no food for his personal lusts, he turned to frank discussion of his scheme: “The show needs pep. That’s why they sent me on to run it. It’s got to make a better showin’ on the statements, an’ it’s up to me to make it. No life in it. Folks want pep—something that "Il just get by the censors. That prim we got now is a dead one. Wears too many skirts. Can’t be done. Folks don’t want singin’; they want shape.” Polly was in the business long enough to feel nothing indelicate in this commercial rating of body. She was only eager to learn where the discussion concerned her. “Veh! But what’s all that got to do with me?” she impatiently interrupted. “T’m comin’ to that,” replied Max. “Now you got the shape an’ the looks an’ everything to put pep into this show. Y’ ain’t shy of tights, an’, believe me! They’ll sit up an’ take notice if you get into the right wardrobe an’ show ’em plenty o’—”’ “'Y’ mean y’ want me to be prim?” gasped Polly, for once startled into an ad- mission of amazement. “'Y’ got me! T’ll make y’ the biggest sensation on the wheel! A riot!” “ But I can’t sing, an’ I don’t know much THE ARGOSY. ‘bout dancin’, an’ I ain’t got no wardrobe, rt oe Max checked her enumeration of disquali- fications: ‘““ That ain’t got nothin’ to do with what I got planned. I been in this game long ‘nough to know what they want. what they want,-an’ you got it! When you lead a drill in white tights they won’t be nothin’ to it! A riot, that’s all!” “What ’bout the old prim?” asked Polly, partially assenting to the scheme. ‘Aw, we'll let her ride out her contract t’ the end o’ the season. “I'll bill you as an extra added attraction till then.” ‘“* What’s they in it f’r me?” “Fifty per this season, and wardrobe. More next,” estimated Max, experimentally. * Tl go y’,” agreed Polly. The compact was completed with a suc- cinct “ Good!” from the manager, and he proceeded to details of his proposed con- quest of the burlesque world. ‘* Now I been readin’ up since I got my lamps on you, an’ I got a name an’ every- thing picked out f’r y’. Polly Morgan ain’t flashy ‘nough; no class to it. Now once they was a Jane lived that was some queen for shape. They called her Juno. So I’m goin’ t’ bill you as Juno the Perfect Woman. Sounds kind o’ highbrow, an’ I can get away with a lot o’ good press stuff ’bout it. Compare y’r measurements an’ every- thing. I got a picture of her here.” - Polly studied the print. “Gawd! She must ’a’ lived where ’twas warm! No clothes at all!” “Yeh, y’ got to go back to them old- timers to get pep,” calmly asseverated Max. “'Y’ can’t get by dressin’ a part like that,”’ objected Polly. ‘Well, 0’ course, we may have t’ drape a little more.” | “ What was this queen’s game?”’ ‘I’m comin’ t’ that. They’s a reg’lar little act "bout her that we can dope out f’r a grand histor’cal tab-loo. Flash stuff with lots 0’ poses. Livin’-picture stuff, only all new. Dimmers on f’r the act till you come in; then the spot. Classy stuff!”’ “Sounds good!” complimented Polly. “Now this Jane, Juno, she got in a bat- tle with two other skirts ’bout which was 0)()) S Shape’s’ CONMUC (C@