Argosy, Vol. 112, No. 2 — page 176: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

$42 “Nota cent!” I says, ‘‘ except, of course, what it cost me to telephone. Look!” I direct, takin’ out fifty bucks which I had in a certain pocket for that purpose. ‘ Here’s the half-century you handed me yesterday.” ‘““ Joe Conner,” says the boss, ‘‘ you’d bet- ter be more careful—or I’ll suspect you’re gettin’ honest!” “Fear not!” I promise him. disgrace you like that!” We go out huntin’ for evidence again that afternoon, and get lots of it—twelve hundred and sixty for me, and four hundred for Ed, who ain’t playin’ ’em very hard. Ed wanted to fit himself out in a new set of draperies; also kicks and a lid, but I put the boots to that proposition. “You'll queer the thing,” I tell him. * Old Giles ‘Il know you never saved up for them out of your salary.” “ But how ’re we goin’ to—”’ ‘When we start to lose, it ‘Il be time to hand Charlie up to the Anti-Vicers,” I says, knowin’ what was in the boob’s mind. “ But suppose we don’t lose?” ‘““ Suppose you wake up some mornin’ and find you have brains! The shock ’ll kill you!” I tell him. “ But I don’t see—”’ “T know it,” I says. “That’s the hardest place to get_into I ever see!” I tell the boss next mornin’. “ They’ve got the toughest guy on the door! I think he’d kill a feller that tried to get by him!” ‘Say!” says the boss, ‘“ where was you guys yesterday? The president of the Anti- Vice and Gamblin’ Association was in to see me last night, and he said he was down opposite Charlie’s and didn’t see nobody watchin’ the place.” , ‘A fine pair of detectives we’d be to let ourselves get discovered!’ I says. ‘‘ We was hidin’—of course!”’ “Ym goin’ down with you this afternoon and look the ground over,” the boss de- cides. “It seems to me you guys ain’t gettin’ much action in the case.” “Don’t!” I cry out, horrified. “ You mustn’t! You’d queer the whole works! Two of us is bad enough—but three! ‘They’d get on to us right off!” I says. “And you never seen such a tough mob; “ Tl never THE ARGOSY. they’d kill you as quick as they’d look at you! Desperate guys!” I describes them. ‘“‘ On the level?” asks the boss, weakenin’. “Tl leave it to Ed,” I says, kickin’ Stupid on the shin. “That’s right!” he says, noddin’ his head. ‘ They’s the toughest bunch of birds in that room that I ever did see.” “In that room!” breaks in the boss. “He means he sees them goin’ in and comin’ out,’”’ I hasten to explain. ‘“ Ain’t that it, Ed?” ‘“Sure!”’ says Ed. He’d agree to any- thing—either way. ‘There’s somethin’ phony in this,” de- cides the boss, lookin’ at me hard. “ Listen here, Joe Conner—this bunk about not get- tin’ in there has got to stop! Why, you little weasel, you could get into a bank vault! Now, either you get into Charlie’s room this afternoon, so I’ll have somethin’ to tell them Anti-Vice people—when I ask them for more expense money—or you'll hunt another job!” ‘“T was just goin’ to tell you,” I says. | “That bird that was goin’ to get us in the first day—I met him yesterday, and he said he thought it would be all right for this afternoon.” ““ See that it is,” says the boss. Well, in the first race that afternoon I’m down for half a thousand on a nag that cops at three to one. Can you imagine? Me pickin’ up kale in thousand-dollar chunks! ‘“ Cripe!”” I says to Ed. ‘‘ What am I to do? If I tell the boss I’m in here, he'll want to tell the Anti-Vice Club. They'll tip off the police, the place will be pulled— and we can’t play the races no more!” “ Well,” says Ed, “‘ that’s what we’re here for!” ‘That was before we was winnin’,”’ I tell him. “ Couldn’t you give the boss a cut on your winnin’s?”’ asks fat-head. ‘“ Yeh—and my right eye, too!” “* Well, blow your job, then,” suggests my bright assistant. ‘‘ You’re doin’ pretty good here.” ‘A feller with as much brains as you,” I inform him, “ ought to be locked-up! A fine sucker play that ’d be! I’m a couple Eomichbooks (E)